KB
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. I know you want to keep busy, but please allow yourself to grieve. Hugs.
technically unless your name is actually on the account it is illegal to log to that account. It really needs to wait until the estate is opened if one is going to be opened did he leave a will or is his estate so small that no will was needed/ estate need be opened. You need to check to find out if an estate needs to be opened due to real estate. One thing you might do if you don't already know is figure out how much he was worth (which differs between community property and non community property states also)
The estate can't be opened before a death certificate is issued but if it looks like one might be needed you could start looking for a lawyer.
Wife #1 was not on good terms with DH although I’m on very good terms with their son so I may be able to get elementary info like her date of birth off the top of his head. Not likely I can get other stuff they mention like date of divorce. I’m even less likely to get that info on Wife #2. I know her first name. That’s it. She was a dear friend of a mutual friend of DH and me, whom I just called today- but not sure what the mutual friend would know.
DH had almost nothing in his name; I handle all the money and when we knew his time on this earth was limited we moved both cars into my name. House is in the name of a trust and I'm the trustee. Right now there's a little over $200 in his checking account, no credit card debt. I can certainly bring in the attorney who created the trust plus DH's and my wills, healthcare POAs, etc. but it may not be necessary.
In my state there are simplified rules and processes for small estates that presumably can be handled without a lawyer. In my case I think they apply to estates under $50K or $100K. Perhaps your state has similar laws.
That's rough, and you're remarkably brave. When my mom died a few years ago it had been similarly apparent and planned for, but it still wasn't any easier. I concur heartily with those who recommend giving yourself a couple of days to simply grieve. Catharsis works.
Oh - I'm so sorry to hear this. Even though you let us know what was happening, it seems so fast!!!DH died this morning- a relief after his life and activities becoming more and more limited since it was determined that his acute myeloid leukemia wasn't responding to treatment in late August. Thanks to hospice, he died peacefully at home in a cloud of Lorazepam, Haldol and morphine, which was what we both wanted.
So-o-o- I cope in times like this by doing organized, analytical things I can control. I got on the SS site and found I need to give back his last payment, received last week. Oops. Then I looked at the list of info they need and panicked a bit.
Background: DH was 78, started collecting at 65. I’m 63, retired, planning to wait till age 70 to collect on my own record, which will exceed the Widow’s benefit. DH was married twice before. Wife #1 is likely collecting SS- don’t know if it’s on her own or DH’s record (married well over 10 years). Wife #2 is deceased. I was married once before- the Ex started collecting on his own record at age 62 and died in 2010.
I can get hold of DH’s birth certificate, his death certificate, our marriage certificate, etc. It appears they have a lot of Qs about the previous marriages I can’t answer. Wife #1 was not on good terms with DH although I’m on very good terms with their son so I may be able to get elementary info like her date of birth off the top of his head. Not likely I can get other stuff they mention like date of divorce. I’m even less likely to get that info on Wife #2. I know her first name. That’s it. She was a dear friend of a mutual friend of DH and me, whom I just called today- but not sure what the mutual friend would know.
So, am I going to need all those gory details? And I assume widow’s benefits start as of 11/1 so that what I have to give back is offset somewhat. I can’t do anything till I get the death certificate and then I’ll fly into action. Cash flow is not an issue, but I’d appreciate any insight people c
I agree with the sentiment. I would like to point out that some people, myself included, need to process grief associated with losses like this in pieces over time, and the mechanics of taking care of the lost loved one's affairs can be a helpful diversion.
Grief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out as a huge wave that follows close behind you and is big enough to swamp and drown you if you suddenly stop moving forward.