Happiness is a job where you would still do it, enjoy it, even if you weren't paid. Balance is work on one hand, "getting away" on the other. Worry is something my mother taught me, she always told me about the man that said, "I alway's worried about not having shoes until I met the man that had no feet".
We all are a combination of many, many things. There are a lot of self help books but remember one thing; "if it is to be, it is up to me". Take your airport incident; what did you learn? If you're unhappy with your behavior, think through what actions you took and then say, "Next time I'll.................." and learn from the experience.
I grew up with depression era parents that knew how to argue and fight but loved each other very much. They didn't have the skills or knowledge that we have today. There were no self help books.
the really good news is you've taken the 1st step, you recognize what you're doing, you're asking for help, you're reading books.....all great but now you have to know that you're the one who can change what you're unhappy with.
Whenever an employee tells me they are sick, I send them home with the advice, "make this the best sick day you have ever had" So, make today the best day you have ever had. Set a goal to make everyone you meet smile, today. You'll feel great, tomorrow, set a goal to make everyone you meet laugh, you'll laugh with them.
After spending years making myself (part of the time) miserable, I get up each morning trying to do what I'm suggesting you try to do. Forgive me for all the advice, I'm just trying to share the core values I've developed to enjoy each day I have left in this wonderful life I've been given. I have my health, my family and enough money to enjoy shelter, travel and put food on the table for the rest of my life.
You may be a little messed up, but arent we all!!!!!