'Cabin Fever' harder on some

[gayl]

My eldest sister texted me over 36 texts in 2 hours furious about something that happened to our horse when I was 15 before I blocked her. I think those with OCD tendencies have a harder time with Staying in Home

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

This is impressive

 

[gayl]

Yep, and each text filled up an entire screen. I think she might need a welfare check.

I wasn't even there when the horse sustained fatal injuries (mountain lion)

 

[Dtail]

I guess she is getting a workout for her fingers.

 

[Out of Steam]

Is she getting outdoors, or is she in too severe a climate for that right now?

I'm seeing on other online forums where there are people who are not going outdoors at all for fear of COVID, which is both unnecessary and unhealthy.

In the same vein, my wife's two older sisters are in a group chat with dozens of texts a day that my wife isn't usually interested in.

 

[pacergal]

wow--your sister sounds like she is definitely having a difficult day. Can you call her to check in on her well-being, rather than texting? Maybe hearing a live voice would help with her anxiety.

There are certainly folks who are handling the separations caused by covid worse than others.

DH and I try to get out of the house daily, either for a walk or drive, sometimes both. Siblings and I have short text checkins almost daily, and zoom every other week. I check in with my kids often and we do safe visits when we can. I try to maintain contact similar to what we did pre-covid.
Some of my family seems to need more contact than others, so I try to accommodate as best as I can. Whatever it takes to get us all through this safely!!

 

[Sunset]

I'm surprised by myself.

As I'm finding the cabin fever harder to take than I always thought it would be.
I always imagined I'd have no trouble being by myself, and a couple of years ago I was on an island by myself for a month. But I did see and talk to a human every week.

But now I feel I'm going stir CrAzY ....
Maybe it's the feeling of lack of control over my life, as we do go visit older relatives to help them out (with N95 masks on).

I have no answers..

 

[Ronstar]

I had cabin fever from mid Nov through Mid Jan recovering from foot surgery. Hardly went anywhere.

But now things are back to normal. I'm out of the house almost all day in my workshop or hiking somewhere. There are plenty of hiking places and workshop projects left to ward off cabin fever.

 

[bloom2708]

We have long winters. I have cabin fever from October to April every year.

Covid has amplified those type of issues.

Is a wellness check needed for your sister? No age stated, but is dementia and related a possibility?

 

[Badger]

For years as my parents got older I watched them become less active and depressed as they continued to keep just a lightbulb or two on in the house to save on the electric bill. Habits are hard to change. I even installed some track lighting with an easy large rocker switch that had a dimmer. They just kept that off too.
Now that I am where their age was I make it a point to keep my house well lit and cheery all day. My form of "Light Therapy" when you can't get outdoors as often as you like. I don't worry about the electric bill now that we have LED lighting. There is enough to deal with depression and boredom during this pandemic without "cabin fever" (seasonal affective disorder - SAD).


Cheers!

 

[Freedom56]

It's a good idea to get out of the house at least once a week (weather permitting) for the entire day. Look for places to hike or other areas where you can be away from other people. We have pretty much written of international travel for 2021 and even another trip to Alaska in June/July will be a non-starter.

 

[ABQ2015]

Agree with giving her some slack and calling her on the phone. I was doing okay in the warmer months but having stepped up my self-isolation in early November and spending the holidays alone (and yes, I need to get outside more), it is starting to wear on me and making me weird. My friends and family have had an easier time because they have spouses and/or adult children/grandchildren and have not curtailed their personal interactions as much. Also I have more health problems than most of them so need to be extra cautious.

 

[gayl]

Is she getting outdoors, or is she in too severe a climate for that right now?

We both live in SF Bay Area so our cold isn't really that cold (50-60s).

I think her only 'workout' is complaining.

I can't stay inside. Dog park every M / W / F hike every Tues / SA. Grocery shop Th. Okay .... that's not really outside but it's out of the house. Oh and kids still come over to watch football on Sundays <until super bowl then I might get bored>

Tried calling but now she has another issue with me that [1] I moved out of the family home at 16 (became Jewish so kicked out) [2] her candidate is not in the White House. All I can do is [emoji20][emoji849]

 

[Katsmeow]

I actually think Covid has been interesting for many people in seeing how you might handle being housebound or near housebound. I think about my late mother (died at 94). She lived on her own and drove until a couple of months before her death. But, the last several years she stayed home more and more, just finding it tiring and difficult to go out.

What I've learned over the last year is that I actually handle this better than most people. I have a friend who has handled it well, but has really missed the social contact. She and I used to go out to lunch every week and then would visit for the afternoon. Now, we just talk on the phone. For me, I do miss the going out and prefer seeing her in person. But -- if we can talk on the phone I get about 90% of the benefit. For her, I think it is much less than that.

During the first weeks of staying home DH and I would just go and drive around a little once a week or so. But, that ended several months ago. Awhile back I found that I had -- without really intending it -- gone almost 2 months without leaving the house. Well, without leaving my yard.

And -- I'm fine. I went to get my vaccination earlier this week, but I had last left the house around Christmas (we drove around to look at lights). DH goes and picks up curbside groceries or dining takeout. But that is about it. He doesn't seem to mind.

I think what bothers us the most is sometimes we want something that you can't get from the store curbside and we are reluctant to go in. DH has done it a few times when really necessary but as case counts went up the last couple of months we have cut down on even doing that.

And, occasionally, I miss eating in a restaurant. But, honestly for a lot of places it is fine to eat at home. Today we had takeout from Chipotle. I don't think I will ever do it any other way (there is no ambience to Chipotle). We will probably get takeout a lot more often in the future.

But -- I now feel that if I ever get like my mom where I just don't feel like living the house or driving is too difficult, etc. -- I will be OK with it as long as I can go to places I really want to go. That is -- what is hard now is not so much staying in the house a lot but feeling like I can't go to a store if I want to.

So, yes, I want it to be over but I have learned that I don't personally need a lot of in person social contact to be happy....

 

[Jerry1]

I did pretty well my first winter in retirement. But, I got to go visit a friend and golf in Florida one week. And, it was my first year. Last winter was my second winter in retirement and it was a bit difficult. I didn’t get to do any traveling and it caught me off guard how difficult that winter was. This is my third winter and of course it’s COVID on top of the cold and being indoors so much.

It’s a struggle. I appreciate some of the advice in this thread. I’ll try to get out more. All I do now is go grocery shopping. I’m lucky enough to still see and visit my DD with the grandkids but still need to do more. Can’t imagine how difficult it would be to be fully alone at this time of year.

 

[2017ish]

...

During the first weeks of staying home DH and I would just go and drive around a little once a week or so. But, that ended several months ago. Awhile back I found that I had -- without really intending it -- gone almost 2 months without leaving the house. Well, without leaving my yard.

And -- I'm fine.....

Wow, as always, people differ!

DW is pretty heavy introvert (me, hardly!). But, even more than usual, she is the one driving our travel since March 2020. And even when we are home it is unusual (definitely less than once a week) that either of us stays at home all day.

Glad that it is working out for you, and for us. The utility of YMMV shines forth even more during plague times!

 

[Katsmeow]

DW is pretty heavy introvert (me, hardly!). But, even more than usual, she is the one driving our travel since March 2020. And even when we are home it is unusual (definitely less than once a week) that either of us stays at home all day.

I am definitely an introvert. I think it would be harder to me if I had no contact with people outside the house. But I do. The friend I used to have lunch with every week I talk to on the phone for several hours a week instead. Another friend I talk to periodically. I talk to adult kids by phone and FaceTime and texting. All of that really does satisfy my social needs.

I mean, yes, I am looking forward to eventually being able to go out more. We are not big travel people but had intended to take a vacation last year. We are thinking maybe next year we can do it.

Still, I did learn that I deal much better with being stuck at home more than people who are more extroverted or really like to "go" places.

 

[Koolau]

I was recently on a Zoom with some family members. One person was displaying some classic depressive symptoms. I spoke later by phone to the spouse and asked if I was off base or if the person needed some professional help. I was relieved to learn that professional help was ongoing. Covid isolation may have exacerbated some underlying issues I was previously unaware of. I was glad I called and I hope the situation gets better soon. Also glad that the spouse took my "meddling" in the spirit offered. As always, especially in the mental health arena, YMMV.

 

[gayl]

We all knew she had a problem when mom was alive & after she passed we noticed a weekly check cashed by my sister. We all inherited 300k .... mine got 2 kids into houses near me (DS 4 miles west in a house with land bordering open space / DD 9 miles east surrounded by 2 ranches) which they'd never be able to afford in this area otherwise. My brother bought his next door neighbor's house for his daughter. Sis corrected her foundation in Morgan Hill. Other sis paid off her in-laws home and stuck it in savings. But Ms Textalot 'enjoyed hers as mom would want.' Now 72 and broke / I suggested she pay off her house to lower her monthly expenses.

Where does this come from? Too many texts to count about how I was so selfish as a daughter that mom had to kick me out at 16. And how I should have never suggested she pay off her mortgage. [emoji38] LOL