The jollystomper method for dealing with this carry on situation:
- If checking my bags vs. carry on will make a difference for getting to a business meeting, I get an earlier flight. Or go the night before.
- if my luggage can be carry on or checked, I will more do carry on on outgoing flights than returning home flights. I can better deal with a potential lost bag when I am home (and my bags have only been misplaced twice in 40+ years of Megacorp and personal flying).
- if my luggage can be carry on or checked, I will tend to do carryon if I am in an early boarding group, to minimize any hassle for myself or other passengers.
- I do not use a carry on that cannot go in wheels first, as to take up less width in the overhead.
- If checking a bag I will keep spare toiletries/shirt/pants/underthingies in a carry on just in case. This usually fits in something I can put under my seat.
- I have no problem helping someone lift carry on luggage into a bin that has room. I draw the line at taking mine or other peoples already stowed items out and playing musical bins to try to accommodate someone. That is a role I leave to the flight attendants.
- I remind myself that there are much worse things in the world than the carry on wars.
The only fights I have personally witnessed on airplanes had to do, or started with, carryon luggage conflicts.