Could Affairs Be Good For A Marriage?

[Tesaje]

An affair was good for my marriage - it was the trigger to end it thus making my life much happier and considerably more solvent early enuf to recover from!

 

[bbbamI]

IMO, the first 20 years of marriage is full of keeping the house in order, working, raising kids (or not), and some couples are too tired to do a lot of contemplating. When both are retired and find just the two of them together in retirement...that can be a whole 'nuther ball of wax.

It can be interesting and hopefully for most rewarding.

 

[vicente solano]

My first wife died in 1997. I married again in 2004. I ERed in April 2005. She has 13 years worth of work yet....She appears not to be envious of my priviliged stauts...... I wouldn´t think of an affair on my part, despite my being alone most of the day. She is very attractive-She is the one that could have a fling....

 

[Khan]

IMO, the first 20 years of marriage is full of keeping the house in order, working, raising kids (or not), and some couples are too tired to do a lot of contemplating. When both are retired and find just the two of them together in retirement...that can be a whole 'nuther ball of wax.

It can be interesting and hopefully for most rewarding.

My opinion is that sometimes you have to renegotiate.

Both my sister and an aunt got divorced after their husbands retired from the USN.

 

[audreyh1]

An affair was good for my marriage - it was the trigger to end it thus making my life much happier and considerably more solvent early enuf to recover from!

The affair was clearly good for you as you ended up much happier! But you have not convinced me it was good for your marriage!

Audrey

 

[bbbamI]

My opinion is that sometimes you have to renegotiate.

Absolutely.

 

[Glo]

I don't believe there's no other party involved; time will tell.

DH and I will be married 40 years in November. In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine separating; we've been through too much. Also, now is the best time of our lives!

 

[rsokel]

The STD's are going up in the west palm beach area among the "older" crowd
oh we still have to use protection you know

 

[easysurfer]

Another interesting analysis of Al and Tipper's breakup:

Why call it quits after decades of marriage? - CNN.com

Of course, human nature, when someone in the public eye says they just want to keep in private and leave us hanging, speculations and rumors start. Especially most marriages just don't end after 40 years.

 

[kramer]

People worry about ER failing because there is, say, a 5% chance of portfolio failure and they might have to reduce their standard of living.

But about 39% of USA marriages currently end in divorce. This is often the elephant in the room for ER risk that you don't see mentioned so much.

Kramer

 

[Moemg]

I don't think it was an affair but just the growing apart that sometimes happens and suddenly you realize if you are going to make a break it's now or never since you see your friends die off around you . More seducing to an older woman is time alone rather than another bed mate .

 

[haha]

More seducing to an older woman is time alone rather than another bed mate .

That is so thrilling for a man to read. "Honey, if I had a fire you'd be the guapo to light it, but the fuel is all spent."

 

[harley]

People worry about ER failing because there is, say, a 5% chance of portfolio failure and they might have to reduce their standard of living.

But about 39% of USA marriages currently end in divorce. This is often the elephant in the room for ER risk that you don't see mentioned so much.

Kramer

I don't know about that. I've read many lists of "rules" for early retirement. Almost without exception, rule number one is "don't get married. If you are married, stay married".

 

[easysurfer]

The best financial advice I've learned from this forum is if you marry, marry someone who shares the same values about money as you.

 

[kcowan]

In my case money, was not a factor and she did like to live high when she worked.

But after ER, she has become amazingly frugal. And she is one of the most logical women I have had the pleasure of meeting.

 

[rescueme]

My parents both had affairs (no, they should have never married, but that was back in the days of the "shotgun wedding" - as the result of me ).

Their "speech" was that "we stay together for the child/children".

As one that lived through such a situation, my comment would be "Please, divorce for the benefit of your childern"....

My father had a "second family" for over 10 years (and I helped support them, by working for $0, at his "enterprise").

My mother didn't have one until she decided to leave, a couple of years before they finally split.

I'm through with both of them (one passed, one awaiting)....

Parents are so underated, IMHO...