Delusional parasitosis/Ekbom

[ohyes]

While I doubt many of you have a mom with Ekbom Syndrome (I am just that lucky(!), I am posting, just in case.

My mom is 86 years old. A few years ago, she started believing she has parasites. She spends hours (today, she told me it is 12 hours) trying to get them out of her body. She is obsessed with it (one of the huge pieces of evidence she has Ekbom Syndrome).

My brother, who lives in the same town, listens and does not argue. What is the point?, he wisely asks. He is correct, from what Google tells me.

Me, I have argued.
No more. I stopped a few days ago. My 87yo dad apparently agrees. Whether he really does, or just to keep peace, I have no idea. They were both furious with me a week ago when I said I had leave after my mom brought up the parasites.

Mom talks about this incessantly and I have decided to not visit for a few weeks. They live about an hour away. When I say incessantly, I mean she talks about it (them) non-stop for 1-2 hours.

Not too many 62yo humans still have both parents on earth. I am struggling with this. I want to spend time with them and be of assistance as needed, but I am so weary of this topic. My brother told me he prays (over and over), Your words to speak, your silence to keep. I keep forgetting to use that prayer, though it sounds helpful.

Any experience/advice with dealing? I want to be nice & present without going nuts.

 

[Ginny]

Some meds have weird side effects. Has she started to take any new meds or any others that have a long term effect? What does her dr say? The dr can help with those darn parasites, you know.

 

[samclem]

Any experience/advice with dealing? I want to be nice & present without going nuts.

She likely has a real physical disorder--schizophrenia or delusional psychosis. There are drugs which can be quite useful in helping people cope with this serious mental illness. Schizophrenics have true chemical abnormalities in their brains, so it should be no surprise that a chemical approach is the one that is most effective. She's likely quite agitated and unhappy, and I'm sure your dad is, too. You may eventually have to figure out how you can adapt to her psychosis so that >you< feel better, but getting treatment for her addresses the root problem so that she and everyone else feels better.

 

[Oz investor]

a bizarre question ,

what sort of parasites does she imagine ??

external skin-crawling ones ??

that could be nerve damage with the nervous system trying to repair/rewire itself

this damage could in or outside the brain

i have some ( known ) nerve damage ( and now some side effect abundant meds ) and one could easily mistake the ( phantom ) feelings

also drying skin can imitate those feelings

cheers !

 

[ohyes]

Some meds have weird side effects. Has she started to take any new meds or any others that have a long term effect? What does her dr say? The dr can help with those darn parasites, you know.

and, here is another tenet.

Mom does not believe in Western Medicine, no use for it. She has relied on her choice of herbs for years. Doctors are quacks. My father drove her to emergency room a couple years ago because she was too weak to walk. Congestive Heart Failure was diagnosis. She got a bunch of transfused blood, was in hospital a few days and released feeling so much better.

Guess what. It was never CHF; it was parasites.

 

[ohyes]

She likely has a real physical disorder--schizophrenia or delusional psychosis. There are drugs which can be quite useful in helping people cope with this serious mental illness. Schizophrenics have true chemical abnormalities in their brains, so it should be no surprise that a chemical approach is the one that is most effective. She's likely quite agitated and unhappy, and I'm sure your dad is, too. You may eventually have to figure out how you can adapt to her psychosis so that >you< feel better, but getting treatment for her addresses the root problem so that she and everyone else feels better.

For about two decades I have guessed my mom suffers from schizophrenia. Not a lot of evidence, but enough (I think).

From what I have read about Ekbom, there is little luck in getting the sufferers to take the drugs. They know they have the parasites.

I want to have a decent relationship with my elderly parents. Guessing it will come down with keeping my mouth shut/nodding my head.

Your responses are helpful and much appreciated. I had a maddening phone convo with her today, so your words are calming me.

 

[RobbieB]

Get to work witch doctor! Google up all sort of voodoo herbs and spin a good tale for your Ma. Explain each one as you measure it into the teapot and add the boiling water and steep for the needed time.

 

[ohyes]

a bizarre question ,

what sort of parasites does she imagine ??

external skin-crawling ones ??

that could be nerve damage with the nervous system trying to repair/rewire itself

this damage could in or outside the brain

i have some ( known ) nerve damage ( and now some side effect abundant meds ) and one could easily mistake the ( phantom ) feelings

also drying skin can imitate those feelings



cheers !

It's bad. They are everywhere. In her heart, brain, ears, eyes, spleen, liver. You name it; they are there.

I so wish I was kidding.

I need a trip. Lafayette, LA for our 38th anniversary is coming up. That will have to do.

 

[ohyes]

Get to work witch doctor! Google up all sort of voodoo herbs and spin a good tale for your Ma. Explain each one as you measure it into the teapot and add the boiling water and steep for the needed time.

Dude!, Mom has tried everything. I swear. She was even using Taco Bell hot sauce for a few days....and swearing it was working. She does not need me to find cures, lol.

But, thanks.

The responses are helping to center me this evening.

 

[samclem]

For about two decades I have guessed my mom suffers from schizophrenia. Not a lot of evidence, but enough (I think).

From what I have read about Ekbom, there is little luck in getting the sufferers to take the drugs. They know they have the parasites.

I want to have a decent relationship with my elderly parents. Guessing it will come down with keeping my mouth shut/nodding my head.

Yes, this is all very real to her. There's no point in trying to use logic to dispute what she believes (most psychiatrists have stories about trying to reason with schizophrenics, just to see what happens. The patients always have an explanation for the unexplainable).
It is true that these patients often refuse to take meds. It is a tough problem, but if you or your dad can get her to the right doctor, under the right circumstances, things could get a lot brighter for her (and for your dad). An experienced psychiatrist will know what to say to improve the chances of gaining your mom's trust.
These parasitic delusions can become quite terrifying, and the patients can do significant harm to themselves in trying to get the bugs out. At some point it may be necessary for someone to step in and seek court action to protect your mom from herself.

Best wishes, this is a tough road.

 

[omni550]

Dude!, Mom has tried everything. I swear. She was even using Taco Bell hot sauce for a few days....and swearing it was working. She does not need me to find cures, lol.

But, thanks.

The responses are helping to center me this evening.

Could you brew up a potion with some Rx meds under the guise of googling some strange secret anti-parasite herbs from the Amazon River?

omni

 

[Hermit]

A really good friend has Alzheimer's. He and his wife were up to my place for a couple of days. His long term memory is good, but the short term memory is gone. He gets something stuck in his brain and it is stuck there. He usually goes on and on about how much he loves and appreciates his wife. Not something bad, but after the first twenty or thirty times it gets old. While they were up here he had a new thought stuck in his mind. After the usual accolades to his wife, he then expressed how sorry he was that my wife had passed away. Hearing that over and over for a couple of days got hard for me emotionally, but what can you do? He is still a great friend and I will always be there for him and his wife. That is just something I have to suck up and live with. His wife has to put up with his mind's new state 24/7. She just does it. Obviously a great person.

The point is sometimes you just have to suck it up and live with ragged edges to spend time with a loved one who has mental issues. I hope you find a way to accept your mom as she is and get to spend time with her.

 

[Oz investor]

it sounds neurological ( nerve damage in her brain )

and they are so random it can still be the nervous could still be nerve connections

have you talked to an amputee , they might give you some insights

take note to see if anything gives temporary relief ( even fake cures )

what she believes is happening is affecting the family so it is important ( there are several peoples health at stake here )

i won't go into what i was using for a wrecked knee ( but they were all legal substances ) but you would be amazed on what worked for a while .. until i did extra damage on it at work ( several times ) the knee is still wrecked but i no longer work , so it doesn't matter now

very nice to see she is proactive researching potential remedies and reliefs that will help distract her

 

[trumpeting_angel]

Ekbom syndrome (delusions of parasites) is not usually schizophrenia (which is most often diagnosed in the late teens or early 20s). Rather, Ekbom syndrome is generally diagnosed in older, lonely, people with no psychiatric history but a family history of parasitic infestations.

Anti-psychotic medications can help, as can supportive counseling. I agree with your decision to quit disagreeing (it goes nowhere). It seems like the best intervention would be some distraction for her - more company, changing the subject when possible, and maybe some stimulation (like a short trip, a new movie, sharing a hobby, singing old favorites?).

Best of luck. Delusional disorders are so hard to cope with. Try your brother's prayer, or work out some distraction ideas. If she can be engaged in something else to occupy her mind, her discussions of the parasites will dwindle.

 

[ohyes]

Thanks to each of you for your input. I plan to read the responses a few more times.

My mother has always had high anxiety. Her mom and brother each mentioned mental illness to me years ago. Mom did not talk to her brother the last twenty years of his life and is often too angry with my brother or me to speak to us. She takes turns, so is usually talking to one while not the other. I cannot remember the title of the book I read years ago that got me thinking she may suffer with schizophrenia. Around that time, she heard voices coming from her pillow and vacuum cleaner. She claimed she could hear my husband talking about her through the pillow.

There is plenty of history here.

You confirmed what I knew. The change has to come from me. I'll work on me, while planning shorter visits in the meantime.

I suspect I am her favorite person to talk to about the parasites. My dad and brother usually just close their eyes and slip away in their thoughts...even in restaurants, lol. That leaves me to nod my head and pretend to listen....

Thanks again. I needed to vent last night and appreciate the advice.

 

[ohyes]

A really good friend has Alzheimer's. He and his wife were up to my place for a couple of days. His long term memory is good, but the short term memory is gone. He gets something stuck in his brain and it is stuck there.
The point is sometimes you just have to suck it up and live with ragged edges to spend time with a loved one who has mental issues. I hope you find a way to accept your mom as she is and get to spend time with her.

Thanks for this. You sound like a good friend. I had actually had similar thoughts these last few days....that I need to summon up the same sort of patience one uses with somebody with Alzheimer's. I can do this.

 

[Hermit]

Thanks for this. You sound like a good friend. I had actually had similar thoughts these last few days....that I need to summon up the same sort of patience one uses with somebody with Alzheimer's. I can do this.

ohyes, you can!

Good Luck!