A bit long-winded but I have to tell this one.
In college I dated a guy a couple of times when he and I met in a class my senior year. He was an Engineering major and I don't think he had much dating experience but we enjoyed each others' company. Perfectly platonic- I think he was too scared to try and go beyond that. We drifted apart after graduation in 1975; in 1978 I moved to the East Coast.
When I was adding contacts to LinkedIn, I thought of him and sent him a note. He later said that that e-mail had been like a lightning bolt. All those 30+ years he'd been beating himself over the head for losing contact with me, thought I was furious at him, said I was the great "what-if" in his life. He'd found references to me on the Internet (I never did change my last name through 2 marriages) but hadn't contacted me.
We met a couple of times when he was in my area- with my husband's knowledge and support. Haven't seen him for maybe 5 years. He's married but it sounds pretty dead. No fantasies on my side about running off with him- he's way too talkative for my temperament so I think we'd drive each other nuts- but we e-mail frequently. Never anything that I wouldn't want his wife to see- he gives me long missives on home and auto repair questions and I think he gets a vicarious thrill reading about my travels and my participation in local athletic events (such as tomorrow's 35-mile Tour de Bier bike ride).
I'm still stunned and a little flattered that he had such vivid memories of me all those years and glad that I could put his mind at ease.
You never know. One of our adjunct professors in medical school had a group of students over to his house, as was a common practice at our school. We were just chatting about life. He and his wife told a story about how they got together, just a few years before (they were in their early 50s). They were friends in high school, never dated, but apparently liked each other a lot. They went off to their lives. She married and divorced; he married and later his wife died. He lived in Los Angeles. He went to a conference in NYC, and they crossed paths. They exchanged phone numbers. They started calling and talking for hours. With astronomical phone bills $900/month in the late 70s, they decided to get together. After a short time, they decided she would move to L.A. They were clearly delighted with how it all worked out.
I maintained friendly terms with all my ex-boyfriends, as most were in my social group in high school and college (as was my husband). I had several short term somewhat-beyond-platonic relationships in high school. There were other boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in the group. One of mine lasted through college. He was one of my husband's best friends, and introduced DH and I when I was 15. There were no blow-ups in any of those relationships. We were friends before and after. But at that age, interests drift, theirs and mine.
I lost touch with some for about 10-15 years, after moving out of Silicon Valley. Then social media started.
Social media has allowed re-connection to varying degrees. I was surprised when one old flame still held me in high regard, something like Athena53 described. It is flattering and enjoyable. He spent a day with us walking around my old Berkeley haunts a few years ago. Along with DH and DS. It was fun and informative.
One very special member of our group who had drifted away, died right about the time we started using Facebook. He had a rare cancer. In fact, I found out through Facebook. That was very sad. He was brilliant. I found out when I was trying to reconnect with old friends. Ouch. He was 52.
I have more in common with my high school friends than I do with my current friends. Politics,religious views, and interests are similar, despite never having discussed them in high school and college. I think it was a product of our early life experiences.
40th reunion this year. Due to time constraints and cross country travel, I probably won't go. But I'll be spending half of December in the Bay Area. I plan on seeing family and friends.
