Do you leave your place after early retirement?

[flyingaway]

I am planning to retire between 55 and 60, but my close friends (in academia) are all planning to work into their 70s. We get together for hiking, travelling, card playing, and other social events during weekends. But we have fewer and fewer common topics to talk about these days. They like to talk about proposals, papers, and honors, I like to talk about investment, personal finance, and travel, etc. I could not think about that, after my early retirement, I have to wait for every weekend days for them to be available for fun events and hear them talk about the things that I no longer have any interest in. On the other hand, I do not think I will be happy to hang on with other retirees who are at least a decade older than I am.

One possibility that I am considering is that, after early retirement, my wife and I will leave our place and travel around the world for 10 years, then come back. But I doubt that I will have the same group of friends without weekly social interactions. Maybe we will have new friends, maybe not.

Do you have the same problem? Do you leave for a new place just for the change of social environments?

 

[Alan]

We left 5 days after my last day at work.

 

[Olbidness]

I see it as a window of opportunity, too young with not enough money and lots of responsibilities or too old with health problems. Ultimately I'll be in one place....forever.

 

[MRG]

Took 4 years to find a place, actually we looked for ten years.

When we gave up looking we found our new home. Sure I miss my old buddies, but my wife is enjoying our time right now. We're in a tourist friendly place, most folks living here are from somewhere else.

 

[bingybear]

When you were growing up did you and some friends every split up because your interests diverged? It is happening again, and guess what? You sound like your changing.

Before I forget.... ignore Alan, he obviously had his escape plan... I believe moving back home.

For me I can't just move since I have responsibilities to an aging parent. But in general if you live in a decent sized city, there should be enough people to develop a social group.

I still keep in touch with old coworkers. Most of the companies that we worked at are gone or shells of what the once were. But a lunch or outing every now and then is nice. But usually only a couple times a year.

I have more interaction with people that race sailboats together. I've spent some time at maker Meetup events. This gives me an outlet for my engineering needs. We also spend some times with charitable events.
I guess what I'm saying... add some more people to your social circles. It you travel for 10 years and come back, you likely have to start finding new social circles again.

Now if you are like some people I know where they plan a different set of friends every day of the week... and repeat this every week.. that may be harder to come by. (or maybe I'm the odd man out -- I just can't see that rigid of a schedule.

If you really want to travel the world, by all means do it. I'll be in NZ in January. But does this really solve your social problem?

 

[imoldernu]

Social life was not geared to work, which office was in Chicago and air travel thru the US for the last three years '84 to '87., but having moved 22 times after marriage, was used to joining social life wherever we lived.

Closer to the OP's conundrum, was the time after graduation from school, in 1958. I suppose a bit of snobbish pseudo intellectuality, where I missed being in the academic atmosphere of Bowdoin. Still a bit of emptiness for that part of life.

The good part of separation and living in different situations is that it's always new, always different. Now, at 80+, our new friends are in our CCRC... some as old as 104 and some 15 younger than we. A time to learn the difference between senility and the best part of knowledge and experience: to enjoy history, philosophy and wisdom... to reflect on the world as it is, with collegiality. Especially nice to be open and honest, without fear of offending sensitivities.

At that, newer friends to expand the interests of earlier days, when there wasn't as much time for collaboration. College professors of literature, psychology, geology and some doctors as well as successful businessmen who find living in an active community, preferable to living alone in a big house.

Gives the lie to those who truly believe that retirement communities are populated only by bedridden dying persons and doddering old fools..]

BTW...Just came across the current rating for my old school... nice to see...

https://www.niche.com/colleges/bowdoin-college/rankings/

 

[Sunset]

Most folks at work were work acquaintances rather than friends.
I would meet for lunch with some of them for about 2 years after retiring, and OP is correct, they keep talking about work stuff...

Now we are down to meeting with 1, this one does travel, so that is something that is common to talk about.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

We have made older friends from the senior clubs. Somebody has to be the youngest, it might as well be us.

 

[Dawg52]

A couple of my best friends still work and I have the same problem with them. All they want to talk about is work related problems. But I guess that is only natural. As far as relocating goes, didn't totally do that but purchased a condo on the coast. That has given me a nice outlet for added variety to my life. To this point I spend about 25% of my time here. Plan to up that quite a bit during the fall and winter.

 

[flyingaway]

OP here. Talked to my wife last night about my idea of selling the house and travelling the world. She was really concerned about this. When we were young, we moved around and were able to merge into our environments quickly. We might not be able to do that easily after we retire. Also, she does not think staying a few months in some place like Thailand is a good idea, maybe two weeks and coming back.

 

[Sunset]

I find the travel, and the settling in at a place to be more effort than when I was younger. So I'm more interested in longer "vacations" than short ones.
So I have the opposite view of OP's wife, for example going to Europe we did it for 2 weeks and since then I wish it had been 3 weeks.

 

[brett]

We downsized, sold our home, and traveled for seven months. Now living in the same city. We enjoyed the travel so much that we decided to delay buying a second home in a warmer climate. We now travel-usually twice a year for two-three months at a time. I would go for longer but DW misses her grandson.

 

[REWahoo]

Nope.

After experiencing nine relocations during the first 15 years of our working lives (five military moves & four civilian), DW and I have no desire to move anywhere else.

 

[NW-Bound]

No. We chose where to live then looked for work in the area, not the other way around. So, we just stayed.

I did think of getting a 2nd home in the Puget Sound, hence my screen name. I changed my mind and got one in the same state for better accessibility. So far so good after 12 years (2nd home bought before retirement).

I found statistics showing a large majority of retirees staying where they are, or moving less than 50 miles. I posted this before, and may not be able to find it again.

 

[mystang52]

You can still do things you enjoy without waiting for the weekend. Then, do some things with you ex-cow*rkers on the occasional weekend. If you find the conversation all about their w*rk and it's just boring, then make the decision to drop out. Great thing about ER is being more narcissistic when it comes to leisure activities,

 

[W2R]

At first we were planning to move, but we did not do it. We love living here and we do not like to travel. Neither of us has kept up our friendships from work, but there are lots of people who retire between 55-60, as flyingaway (the OP) is planning to do. F has made new friends through some of his retirement activities, and I just don't feel the need for much of a social life.

When F decided not to move away, I thought about things and realized that mostly I wanted to live within walking distance of him, in a nicer home (we are not married and live in separate houses). He wanted to live closer to me as well and thought that would be a really great idea. So, when a nicer home right next door to him came on the market, I bought it and moved there. It was only a 3 mile move but we both love the difference it made in our lives.

It was my 29th move so far in my life, and with any luck it will be my last move.

 

[Meadbh]

I moved 10 times during my w*rking years, mostly long distance, so I'm in no hurry to move again, although I might consider a nicer home in my current location. Most of my former coworkers I think of as colleagues but not friends. I stay in contact with only a select few. I am pursuing new interests in ER and have developed circles of friends around those activities.

 

[audreyh1]

It took us five years after retiring, but we did eventually move.

 

[Brdofpray]

Yes! We had a definite plan in place. The day I left work for the last time, DW picked me up, and we drove nonstop from Chicago area to Upstate South Carolina. Everything had already been moved there two months earlier. The best move we had ever made!!!

 

[tps7742]

Yes we moved to our weekend rural property that we purchased in 1999. We built a new home, tore down the old house, bought the adjoining property (so no neighbors). This will probably not be our last move because when we get too old to take care of the property we will have to make a decision of what to do. Probably not the best decision for most but we decided to go this route for now. I keep in touch with a few folks I use to work with electronically but the staying in touch is getting further apart timeframes.

 

[Music Lover]

I w*rked in a very large office for 3 decades, so during that time I met a lot of people. I became friends with some of them based on common interests in sports, music, etc. and remain friends with them to this day based on those interests. W*rk was only relevant to the extent that it put us in contact with each other. When we get together, office talk is minimal...simple catching up with who is doing what and then the office talk is over and they are simply friends with shared interests.

The other w*rk "friends" that I had were never real friendships. We were pleasant with each other, occasionally went for lunches, and hung out at events, but once I left the office those friendships faded due to a lack of common interests. If we see each other in passing we chat for a couple minutes but there is never any talk or interest of "getting together some day".

It sounds like the people you are referring to come from that second group.

 

[Scuba]

We did not move as we have many friends and enjoy the lifestyle in So CA. Several of our friends are from a company I used to work for over 10 years ago, but we never talk about w*rk, just our common interests and friends. I've seen a few people briefly from the company I recently retired from and they are almost exclusively focused on talking about w*rk, which I don't enjoy so I don't initiate contact with them.

We are considering renting our home out for a year or two and traveling. Seems like a fun idea to do while we're still young, but also lots of hassle so not sure.