ER limericks

[Htown Harry]

A few years back there was a ER haiku thread.
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/er-haiku-any-takers-47371.html

Time to mix it up a bit...

A refresher on the format:

• Five lines.
• The first line usually describes a person & place (or situation).
• Lines 1, 2 and 5 end with a rhyme.
• Lines 3 and 4 end with a different rhyme.
• The "rhythm" of the poem is such that it can be recited with a 3 - 3 - 2 - 2 - 3 beat.

Here a couple to start. (Say the second one with a British accent.)

Jane was planning her resignation
She came to this site asking "Inflation?"
"COLA's will shine"
"Stocks will be fine"
"Bonds are OK, but watch the duration"

​

Chained at his desk sits Harry
Stuck because retirement seems scary
There's plenty of treasure
He's ready for leisure
Dear wife is the one who is wary
​

Hopefully the mods won't have to intervene...

 

[REWahoo]

If Htown Harry had his way
We'd all write limericks, come what may
He'd have us spend time
Coming up with rhyme
Giving ER's something to do all day

 

[Htown Harry]

How appropriate that you are the first to reply, REWahoo. One of your posts was my inspiration.

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f29/6-months-in-72699-2.html#post1467870

In my youth I dreamed of dating a girl from Forney named Kate.

I got this far with a reply, but decided that completing the poem might get me a special award from the moderators.

Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...

 

[REWahoo]

You might get away with it if you posted on the joke thread...

 

[MichaelB]

There once was a girl from Forney
She made all the boys super ... o wait, the theme is ER.

Sorry.


ER Forum ‘s a place to make friends
They help figure the means to our ends
Good advice they relay
Spending must be delayed
On that the SWR depends

 

[braumeister]

ERs shun the variable annuity
For income in perpetuity,
'Cause the costs and the fees
Bring strong men to their knees
And buyer's remorse isn't pretty.

 

[Htown Harry]

There once was a girl from Forney...

Now I feel safer.

The tart lived her ER down by the station
Two men kept her pleased, providing a life of elation
Mr. Stock was the young 'un
Mr. Bond was the slow one
The secret, she claimed...allocation

 

[RHLnFLA]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]A frugal young man from Nantucket[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Put all his wealth in a bucket[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]He said with a smile[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]As he built up his pile[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]I'm LBYM'ing to take this job and chuck it.[/FONT]




[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]someone was going to try to get this rhyme in.....I thought I'd try it.
[/FONT]

 

[scrinch]

In a forum for retirement wannabes,
And financially independent gonnabes,
Networth polls always question,
Do I count real estate or pension,
Social security, annuity, or none o' these?

 

[eyeonFI]

Oh how I want to retire
My long term goal, to FIRE
I'm sick of my job,
Would rather sit like a blob
Any day now, my replacement they'll hire.

 

[W2R]

She wasn't a poet, you see;
She just watched the markets, when free.
The Dow soared up higher
Her thoughts were of FIRE!
She couldn't help posting it, "Wheee!!!"

 

[MuirWannabe]

To avoid being a wage slave
We all try to save save save
But the market can have other intent
And our money can soon be all spent
Still FIRE is what we all crave


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[bjorn2bwild]

The quest for early retirement
Is hastened by miserly inspirement
They'll say you are crazy
Without work, fat and lazy
Proper vision is an important requirement

 

[scrinch]

Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...

What he thinks about most,
Is those nights at the coast,
When she showed him her LBYM skills.

 

[scrinch]

Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...

Recalling her financial gyrations,
And her asset allocations,
And wishing he'd been named in her will.

or

Oh she had the looks,
But when he saw her books,
All he found were some overdue bills.

 

[REWahoo]

OK, I'll take a shot at it:

Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...

"My returns are first rate,"
said sweet Forney Kate,
"and Wellesley will pay all the bills!"

 

[MuirWannabe]

Please tell me if I'm able to quit
With my work I don't give a spit
How can I not have enough
To do OMY mighty tough
I'll FIRE anyway cause I don't give a darn




Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[Htown Harry]

Shrink your house, that's the adage
Declutter it, too, get rid of the baggage
Track your receipts
Recycle those sheets
Then hope for RIF with a real nice package

 

[David1961]

There once was a young man named Myer
Who thought of his job with much ire
He learned from this site
Saving money alright
And now he is able to FIRE!

 

[redduck]

She wasn't a poet, you see;
She just watched the markets, when free.
The Dow soared up higher
Her thoughts were of FIRE!
She couldn't help posting it, "Wheee!!!"

She wasn't a poet, you see;
She just watched the markets, when free.
When the Dow soared higher
My thoughts became dire
Because I knew she couldn't help posting it, "Wheee!!!"

 

[NW-Bound]

OK, here's my first ever attempt at this stuff.

NW-Bound loves his Quicken screen
Look how rich I am, he preens
Oh no, W2R posts a Wh***
Market movements make him p**
He's now back to rice and bean.​

 

[rodi]

She was more surfer than Georgian peach
And wondered if retirement was in reach
Firecalc gave the green light
So she set her ER date in sight
Now she walks her dog daily on the beach.

 

[Meadbh]

There was a young lady named Meadbh
Who really knew how to save
She worked and she toiled
And didn't get spoiled
Now she's ER and perfectly brave

 

[redduck]

There was a young lady named Meadbh
Who really knew how to save
She worked and she toiled
And didn't get spoiled
Now she's ER and perfectly brave

So, Meadbh rhymes with "save". Good to know. I learned something today.

 

[Meadbh]

So, Meadbh rhymes with "save". Good to know. I learned something today.

Yes! I was considering explaining it, so I'm glad you did that for me, red duck. It is sometimes spelt Maeve. Click on the link to hear it pronounced correctly.

http://www.forvo.com/word/meadbh/