Frugal and Cheap living are not good ideas

[antmary]

I like to distance my inner self from financial styles. I would rather focus on being kind, loving, creative, helpful, insightful, honest, etc....and "careful with money." The words such as "frugal, cheap, thrifty," etc. are adjectives used to describe the actions, or even character of a person.

When I am obsessing about this or that, my soul feels "pinchy," no matter what the bank account looks like.

 

[MasterBlaster]

To incline your life towards voluntary simplicity is noble. Forgo all that advertised/designer labeled/unimportant stuff to focus on the people around you who really matter.

To be a cheapskate is to not pay your own way. To skate through life living on the fruits of others labor is very much the opposite of noble.

 

[Major Tom]

When I am obsessing about this or that, my soul feels "pinchy," no matter what the bank account looks like.

I was looking for the "like" button, then realized that I wasn't on Facebook. I really like this perspective on things antmary!

 

[DallasGuy]

It really doesn't matter what word you use because all that matters is how you feel about your own actions. Why put so much thought into what something is labeled anyway? People have different opinions of whether some words have positive or negative connotations anyway. So, why worry so much about it? Unless you care what other people think. And if you have enough confidence in your own actions, it shouldn't matter what other people think.

 

[easysurfer]

I used to fiddle around with one of those electronic spellchecker/dictionary/thesaurus things. I'd try to start of with a word with a good definition, then by using likewords, find a word that had a negative meaning. Or I'd go from bad to good.

Guess it really is semantics and "in the eyes of the beholder".

 

[rockyj]

I'm partial to the idea of exercising good "stewardship" in how you manage your resources and otherwise conduct your affairs - being responsible, appreciative, thoughtful, etc., and hence not wasteful, spendthrift, etc. There's nothing negative in that and plenty of room for balance as well. FWIW.

 

[Amethyst]

"Mindful" and "careful" are good watch-words for lots of activities: saving, spending, eating, driving....

Amethyst

 

[TomG]

Cheap, frugal, efficient, debt-free, financially independent, wealthy. Even miserly. Any point along the spectrum can be interpreted the same as any other. The context is always going to be far more important than the content

It is up to us to use them only as a starting point for painting the spending-habit picture

 

[Milton]

As W2R implies, "frugal" and "cheap" are not synonymous.

I do not want to debate if frugal, cheap living cheapskate, tightwad, penny pinching are not good ideas or have a negative connotation, if it is changing, should it change or if they are negative to you personally. They are not virtues. Nor is this concept splitting hairs.

I don't know if you meant it or not, but certainly the above comes across as "I am not prepared to accept any dissenting viewpoints, for I know best. End of discussion".

FWIW, I second DallasGuy's and rockyj's comments.

 

[NW-Bound]

Same as many people here, the term "frugal" has never been a negative word to me. I occasionally call myself a "cheapskate" in jest. But I would be upset if someone other than close friends jokingly calls me that. In fact, I have not done anything to anybody to be called cheap by them.

Although I did not buy any Armani suit, back when I was still wearing suits, and have bought only run-of-the-mill vehicles instead of Lexus, or BMW, or Mercedes, I don't think I am cheap because of that. I give appropriate gifts and presents to my relatives. I reciprocate to friends at social outings. When I invite relatives or friends over for dinner, I take time to prepare and to serve the meals, and they know I value their company.

Many years ago, I read about the difference between frugal and cheap from Andrew Tobias. Cheap only applies to how you treat others. He gave the following examples. Not buying expensive drinks or candies from the hotel room minibar is not cheap. But it is cheap not to give sufficient tips to your waiter.

I hope that helps.

 

[easysurfer]

Interesting...so if it's 90 degrees outside and I have company over, to leave the a/c off and only use a fan is cheap, but if I don't have company over, that is frugal and thrifty. Does make sense as in the case of not having company over, that's more a choice of priorities, whereas with company over, to have the a/c on is called being a good host.

 

[NW-Bound]

...but if I don't have company over, that is frugal and thrifty...

No, that's not frugal. It's just HOT!

Frugal is to set the thermostat to 79F when you are alone.

Outside temp of 108F as we speak.

 

[Dawg52]

My boss once said something similar. In fact he said he didn't hold much respect for people who lived that way. Well he's 70+ and still working. But, to each their own.

 

[TomG]

Or perhaps:

being cheap is to spend as little as possible, even if it means being uncomfortable

being frugal is to make yourself comfortable while spending as little as possible. It's been 108F around here, too. But I can drink a pitcher of ice water, stay mostly in one room that has both a ceiling fan and a high quality electric fan and feel cold even with the central air completely off

 

[NW-Bound]

Hey, I just look up your profile and see that you are in Nevada!

I can stand the cold a lot better than the heat. In fact, in the winter, I set the thermostat to 45F in my place in the mountain, and use a space heater to keep my bedroom at 60F.

Well, we are all different in what we call comfortable. So, if you are OK with 108F, I won't call you cheap.

 

[fritz]

Find all the words mentioned as simply "judgments" - used by people to describe others, or sometimes themselves - and not always used negatively. As they say: judge not lest you be judged....

 

[rmark]

The OP has a valid point in the difference in mental attitude to what is basically the same goal – saving and investing for your needs and interests.
I’ll use two different books as examples of this – ‘Your money or Your life ‘by Joe Dominquez and ‘The Wealthy Barber’ by David Chilton
In the first, that attitude is ‘count, count, count, so you can spend less’. With little said about the investing part. (In fact I think chapter 6 should be titled ‘Don’t do what you love because it might cost you money’, a position that I think the authors received in early feedback since that chapter is discussed in the forward).
In the second the theme is ‘invest first, spending the remainder mostly as desired’. If your goal is investing, then invest. Count later if need be, but invest first.

 

[NW-Bound]

By the way, here's my own example of "cheap", following Andrew Tobias's definition.

Back when I was with a megacorp, once a group of us went out for lunch on Friday. We all ordered different plates. At the end of the meal, we each tossed in what should be our fair share. As my dish was something less than $12, and I only had water to drink, I put in $20 and thought that would be quite generous. A friend sitting next to me did the same thing.

To our surprise, the guy at the end of the table whose task was to count the money, making sure there was enough for taxes and tips, announced that we were short!!!

Somebody was being CHEAP!!!

Later my friend told me that he observed that another guy only put in the same $20, but he had a more expensive dish, with drink, and dessert and coffee!

Now, that very same guy, at another time, tried to impress us by saying that when not finishing up a bottle of wine, he would put on a fancy bottle stopper with nitrogen injection, yet could always tell that the wine deteriorated when he drank it later. Ha!

I thought to myself that "You are CHEAP, buddy, no matter how exquisite a taste you claim to have". But I kept it to myself and simply replied that I had never tried that kind of nitrogen preservation, that my bottles were usually too cheap for me to do that, and that I usually drank them up each meal anyway.

 

[RonBoyd]

Henny Youngman Jokes
Over ten years gone (he died 2-24-98), but always in our hearts.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

 

[Delawaredave5]

I always thought "frugal" and "content" both had a mildly positive connotation.

Now "cheap" can mean various things, especially for women, some not too positive.

I agree - frugal is "in" - I see folks much more receptive to the word than years ago when it was analogous to "cheap".

Quote I love: "Economy is the art of getting most out of life" (or something close to that....)

 

[rescueme]

Now, that very same guy, at another time, tried to impress us by saying that when not finishing up a bottle of wine, he would put on a fancy bottle stopper with nitrogen injection, yet could always tell that the wine deteriorated when he drank it later.

I guess I'm frugal. I never use nitrogen injection, and save the expense; if the bottle is opened, its contents are totally consumed ....

 

[NW-Bound]

In case I might be misunderstood, I will add that I never intended to knock people who use nitrogen to preserve opened bottles of wine, or whose palate can tell the difference. It was only my reaction to this pretentious guy who would not even pay for his own meal!

 

[rescueme]

In case I might be misunderstood, I will add that I never intended to knock people who use nitrogen to preserve opened bottles of wine, or whose palate can tell the difference. It was only my reaction to this pretentious guy who would not even pay for his own meal!

Understood; I just "attempt" to inject humor wherever I see the opportunity ...

As for myself? I could never get the cork back in what I normally drink - inexpensive (e.g. cheap) box wine...

 

[easysurfer]

Or perhaps:

being cheap is to spend as little as possible, even if it means being uncomfortable

being frugal is to make yourself comfortable while spending as little as possible. It's been 108F around here, too. But I can drink a pitcher of ice water, stay mostly in one room that has both a ceiling fan and a high quality electric fan and feel cold even with the central air completely off

I see now.....

Frugal = being Cheap with success

108F, wow. At least that must be a dry heat. Ceiling fans are great, aren't they. I had a 52" blade ceiling installed in my living room a few years ago and I love it. It really circulates the air well, plus adds light right in the center of the ceiling.

 

[NW-Bound]

I have provided this quote from Andrew Tobias before and it is worth repeating here.

"It is possible to live well whether you are rich or poor. When you are poor, it just costs less." - Andrew Tobias