Has anyone here given up on public education in the past few years?

[athena53]

Please explain why that is necessarily true [kids would get a better education at a private school]. Proof would be good.

My grandchildren are the 4th generation to spend time outside of public schools. My parents went to faith-based schools and so did my siblings and I. When our very expensive public school system (Bergen County, NJ) wasn't giving my son the education he deserved I sent him to NY Military Academy, where he graduated with honors and was Commander of two companies of cadets. He also go off the couch and started working out. At 37 he's still in great shape. His kids are home-schooled.

Yes, if I'd chosen the wrong private school he would have fallen flat on his face. He's smart but had some ADD and lacked discipline and study skills. I'll take some responsibility- I was a single mother after an ugly divorce, working a demanding job to pay the bills and maybe not paying as much attention to his schooling that I should have when he was at home.

In my experience kids who are falling through the cracks in public school can generally do better in a private school because:

-You can choose a school "type" that fits your kid.
-The staff and faculty know that if you're not happy you can take your kid and your money to another school. (The public school staff NEVER remembered my last name- they called me "Mrs. DS' last name" and not my birth surname, which I never changed. NYMA always remembered my correct last name. A little thing, but telling.)
-Smaller classes.
-Not as hamstrung by the state and local bureaucracy (although there are still rules and standards).

What's sad is that so much public funds are being funneled to the public school monopoly even when things aren't working for so many kids. (Think Common Core.) Private schooling for kids whose parents are willing and able to afford it doesn't solve the problems of the others "left behind".

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

Our kid graduated from our local high school in 2020, and they took plenty of AP and Honors courses. Grades were always out of 100, with GPA out of 4.0, that hasn't changed here (Montgomery County, MD). Of course, our local taxes are higher than average, but we also have better services in other areas, too, not just schools, which is why we like it here.

 

[jollystomper]

How many times do we hear people say on this board that you should not measure your FIRE progress against other people? You should do the best you can do and ignore how everyone else is doing. The same holds true in school. Your daughter should learn the most she can and do the best she can. That will cement a solid future for her. The fact that she and everyone else is rated 3/4 on whatever scale is used is largely irrelevant.

The analogy of FIRE to getting grades in school in a bad analogy in so many levels. If you are progressing on FIRE you are already an "A" student. Every FIRE person looks at those unable to FIRE not in a "put-down" way, but in a "things I need to avoid" way to improve oneself. FIRE is the result of your career and life, school is the beginning. You need to stand out at that age in some way, shape or fashion, and there is nothing wrong with healthy competition. With FIRE you do not need to stand out; in fact, most of use "hide" our FIRE status to others.

A few other high level points I will add on the overall topic:

1) I agree that the "problem" with schools is local. But how many folks here were heavily involved with their schools - volunteering, or serving or school boards? When Our kids were is school rare was the day either DW or I were not at the school (which was not always seen as a positive thing by a few of the teachers or administrators ). We attended every single one of our kids parent teachers conferences, to the point of being told "you are not the type of parents that need to be at these conferences." But we still came. And frankly, that gave an edge to our kids (and also settled them down a bit, as they knew if they did something bad in school Mom and Dad would drop everything and be there ASAP to deal with the situation.

2) For those "good" public schools, a big factor is the class size. Even if you go to a "bad" school, The smaller the class sizes the more likely teachers will be able to notice good students and provide additional guidance.

3) I see a lot of focus on people saying the proof of a good school is their kids or kids of friends getting good colleges or advanced degrees. But those things are not cut out for everyone. Unfortunately a lot of schools have de-emphasizes "trades" education as that does not reflect an "elite" career. But there are plenty of examples of folks who may not be good a getting high grades but great at hands-on skills, and in many trades you can make as much or more are some professions that ask for advanced degrees.

4) Finally - and my most "controversial" point: I have already said that you can see where the country is headed educationally by looking at how education was given to minorities and very poor in the past. Public schools were not educating kids, and parents had no choice (polls have always shown a majority of minority parents in favor of school vouchers for choice, something ignored by their representatives.). If you get a 70% on a test, the teacher thought they were doing their job and leave it at that. If they started encouraging smarter students, they might get into trouble for making the other students "feel bad". In the public schools in the better neighborhoods, they did not worry about that. If you got a 70% on a test, a teacher would more likely encourage the student to do better. And they would work to figure out what things a student was good in. Been there, that was done to me, and it made a HUGE difference. It just seems that the public schools these days shy away from encouraging excellence. Not everyone can be the same type of excellent, but everyone can be the same type of mediocre, and that is the easier path .

 

[razztazz]

There was a wave of this back in the 70's. It didn't last. Everybody went back the "normal" grading system eventually. I got a few degrees from a school that was still doing it in the '80'sbut I could get my percentile ranking on my tests. (For pettyfoggers who just have to know). I believe, at least the major thrust behind it, was several studies at the time had indicated that most of the salient technical and professional achievements were accomplished by quite frankly "average" people. The so called high achievers weren't particularly instrumental and in many cases they were high achievers only in school, then, nowhere else.

 

[mpeirce]

If you want to send your kids or grandkids, nieces or nephews, etc. to non-government K-12 schools, you can use 529 plan money to do this.

There are various rules, including:

• You can start contributing before a child starts school (but after they are born).
  
• K-21 tuition withdrawals are limited to $10,000 each year.
  
• It’s not federal tax deductible, but you can get state income tax deductibility up to certain limits. This varies from state to state:
  
• The money you put into these accounts grows tax free.

More info

https://www.usbank.com/financialiq/.../using-529-plans-for-k-12-school-tuition.html

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/student-loans/529-plan-k-12-education/

https://www.savingforcollege.com/ar...-pay-for-k-12-these-states-offer-tax-benefits

 

[Aerides]

OP is talking about a middle school, so I'd be more interested as the parent as to how the local high school grades and performs.

Colleges require far better GPAs and SATs than most of us were accepted with, and many kids, particularly from higher income brackets, use tutoring to help their performance. So I would be very surprised if HS's grade as described.

For instance, my niece, who graduated in 2020, she needed an SAT over 1200 to be comfortable with her admission to a state school. Most of my very smart HS friends had trouble getting over 1100 back in the 80's. State schools then just needed 1000. GPA bars are similarly raised with the proliferation of advanced and AP classes. A 4.0 is not nearly as impressive today.

 

[sergio]

There was a wave of this back in the 70's. It didn't last. Everybody went back the "normal" grading system eventually. I got a few degrees from a school that was still doing it in the '80'sbut I could get my percentile ranking on my tests. (For pettyfoggers who just have to know). I believe, at least the major thrust behind it, was several studies at the time had indicated that most of the salient technical and professional achievements were accomplished by quite frankly "average" people. The so called high achievers weren't particularly instrumental and in many cases they were high achievers only in school, then, nowhere else.

I think ultimately the pendulum will swing the other way, or at least more towards the middle, but it's a shame that so many kids get shafted during these 'experiments' that are nothing but the latest fad in academic journals.

 

[rodi]

There are some excellent public schools. And some crappy ones. There are some excellent private schools and some crappy ones. There are students that have involved parents who provided standards for the kids academics that might be stricter than the school expectations, and there are students whose parents don't set higher expectations.

We put our kids in a public school that had an IB program. Very academically rigorous. We supplemented with robotics programs (I coached) as well as music and sports outside of school. I did not consider this "homeschooling" as the op suggests. But their public school was excellent. We encouraged their intellectual curiosity.

A friend has children who thrived in the Philadelphia public schools. At the time the district was failing big time. I asked about it and my friend explained that they worked the school system to the max making sure their kids were in the best schools in the district. I learned from that .. jumping through hoops and committing to driving further every morning to get my kids in the Ib program.


School quality is local. Academic expectations of children varies from family to family.

Not every family can afford or has access to private schools.