Hi, I am... ER and unsure

[Baxter]

Greetings all. I just wanted to introduce myself 'round these parts.

I'm 37 and I think I'm ER'd. I completely burned myself out getting here though. High-stress job, lots of hours, and a boss who wanted me at the office 7 days a week several months each year. Finally the stock options paid off and I bailed a few months ago. I had big plans for post-ER life but the burnout has left me just about disabled. I hope to change that with sleep and exercise and all that. We'll see.

In retrospect I should have taken a more enjoyable but less paying job and smelled the roses along the way. What's the saying, the wisdom of experience is something you get when you don't need it anymore? Anyhoo..

I'm no stranger to LBYM, growing up with a single mom making about $14K/year in the early '80's, IIRC. Frugality is in my blood. I'd been saving towards ER since around 1994 and the stock shaved probably 5-7 years off of that goal.

I'm a little uncertain if ER is going to "stick" because
1. Some of the stock sales are restricted until the future and anything could happen to the share price between now and then. This is probably OK though.
2. I miss the social networking and sense of community that work provided. I don't have strong family ties (far away and dysfunctional) and all my work friends are busy most of the time, like I used to be. I am looking to pick up a volunteer gig to alleviate some of this, but the older I get the more I value being around people.
3. I'm starting to worry about the state of my marriage, and that'd throw me back into the work force in a jiffy. No kids at least.

Location-wise, we live close to the "E" in TEXAS.

Glad to be on board.

 

[Nords]

Welcome to the board, Baxter. It sounds like you made the last helicopter off the roof.

I'm a little uncertain if ER is going to "stick" because
1. Some of the stock sales are restricted until the future and anything could happen to the share price between now and then. This is probably OK though.
2. I miss the social networking and sense of community that work provided. I don't have strong family ties (far away and dysfunctional) and all my work friends are busy most of the time, like I used to be. I am looking to pick up a volunteer gig to alleviate some of this, but the older I get the more I value being around people.
3. I'm starting to worry about the state of my marriage, and that'd throw me back into the work force in a jiffy. No kids at least.

The good news is that you have plenty of time to work on 1-3. Paul Terhorst, author of "Cashing in on the American Dream: How To Retire at 35", advises no major changes for the first two years. Give it time.

While I occasionally miss some of the shipmate camaraderie, much of it was based on shared misery. The old shipmates I hang out with now are the ones who I genuinely like and enjoy sharing my time with. I suspect you'll gradually find out who your friends really are and who you just worked with.

This is a good time to rebuild those marriage bonds, too. The time together can help a lot, and now you know that you can give it your best effort without being distracted by work...

 

[MasterBlaster]

The three things that work provides according to Ernie J. Zelinski (in the book - How to Retire Happy Wild and Free) are:

1) A sense of Community
2) A sense of purpose
3) structure in your life

you probably didn't like work so if you can find those 3 things in your leisure activities you can get on with your life and be happy.

 

[samclem]

Baxter,

Howdy. Sounds like you've had a real experience, but its great that you can see everything very clearly. You'll probably want to take time to get your bearings before jumping into any new committments--or severing any existing personal ones.

Welcome to the board.

 

[Baxter]

Thanks Nords, MasterBlaster, samclem.

The three things that work provides according to Ernie J. Zelinski (in the book - How to Retire Happy Wild and Free) are:

1) A sense of Community
2) A sense of purpose
3) structure in your life

you probably didn't like work so if you can find those 3 things in your leisure activities you can get on with your life and be happy.

Wow, bullseye. That is exactly what I'm trying to replicate without going back to the proverbial grindstone. Great insight, samclem.

 

[lifeisgood]

I think you will really like life once you start to recover. For me, the job was one stress, and the transition out of it was another. It took about 3-4 months for me get over those, and to feel comfortable that ER would work. Now it's great. People I respect told me to take at least a year to make major commitments.

 

[AltaRed]

Same here. Been ER'd almost 6 months now and I promised I'd give myself a full year before considering something else. I prefer to spend my time now just doing whatever strikes me at the time... family, little projects, travelling. Minimal structure. I don't miss work one bit...yet.