OK, this has happened to me now three times since I have ER'd so I thought I'd post this. Here's the scenario and is basically the same each time.
I'll meet with a friend for lunch or dinner and we chat about things, including my ER. I'm pretty open and honest so when folks ask me how I like retirement, I don't gloat and have kind of a standard answer like "it has it's pros and cons but overall has been a great decision". Then there is this moment when they stare me in the eye and maybe say something like "you seem to be adjusting to retirement well" but then comes "Tell me, how is retirement, REALLY"??
Not sure how to take this. In a way it seems like they think I am lying to them or hiding something. Or they think that if they get me alone, they can find out the skinny. Not sure. Each time, I was very close to giving some sort of smart-ass answer, but am glad I did not.
Has anyone encountered this? What would be an appropriate answer? I could have some fun with this and say "Really, I'm broke so can you pick up this tab and loan me a few hundred?"
Few people acknowledge that we are retired. Because I was RIF'd from my last j*b and never went back, and DW was RIF'd out of the public sector only one year from qualifying for a modest pension, I think everybody thinks we are on the skids (After a year of searching DW did work at another place 8 or 9 months -- just long enough to get the pension). Fact is that we were FI long before any of this happened.
We never drove expensive vehicles or had all the fancy personal electronics, etc. so we may look poor. Never bragged about our income, or even revealed what it might be.
Sibling #1 is always quoting 401K balance in a very condescending way, saying "I have
all that money working for me", implying that we don't have that, which would be false. I usually reply with something like "well, that's good". We have it, several times over, but choose not to rub everybody's face in it.
#2 does not have much, and probably thinks the only way we could get what we have is to rob a bank or win the lottery. I am not kidding about the "rob a bank" line, but will save that story for another thread.
#3's plan was to retire this year in [a relatively expensive city]. Now the plan is to [a less expensive city] at a later date. #3's DW says #3 went through all the calculations and doesn't think they are quite there yet, but is not sure they did it right. I dunno. They make a lot and spend a lot.
I am just the stupid little brother that doesn't know how to tie his shoes.
I have to admit that I have been treated a little coolly by friends and former colleagues -- some but not all. So we downplay the retirement thing.
