It is tough to give advice with only 1/2 the story. I'm not saying what is posted may not be true, but sometimes perceptions that one has of one's spouse are not accurate. This is especially true if there is a communication breakdown in the relationship. I'm not saying there is... but when folks have such a contrasting view over such an important matter, one cannot help but wonder.
Based on what has been posted, my assessment is that the OP's DH has a value system center on money and prestige/power, along with the attention/adoration that comes with it. The expensive toys, ability to hang out with others in the same socioeconomic bracket and "talk shop", Maybe even the ability to lord it over others not as fortunate or well off, might all come into play. In addition, if he has no friends, or friends who have the same mindset, as much as he complains about the misery and health, either he on his own, or under the influence of these friends, is not changing his value system. The "misery" in his view might be a badge of honor.
It is not a surprising thing. At our college reunions DW and I talk to classmates with net worths in tens and hundreds of millions of dollars but complaining about stress, and we mention thinking about retirement. Many of them are surprised. They can't grasp why someone making a good salary would ever retire, because their value system is also about the prestige and the money.
In my view, nothing with change until his value system changes. And sadly, it may take a "shock" to his system - some severe health or other crisis to him or a close friend/family member to change it. One of my mentors at work, 5 years old than me and very well off financially for years, never considered retiring at all until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Maybe that "shock" would be the OP retiring herself, and building a separate life... and him seeing the OP actually enjoying that life, since now he way wonder "she wants me to retire, but she says she hates her job and is still working". I don't know.
I don't wish "shocks" on anyone, but this might be the only type of thing that gets his attention. I don't know.