How many children

[Arif]

We only have one boy and he's four. Honestly don't think I am cut out for a lot of kids (anything over 1). Although I recently spent some time with friends and they have two kids 3 and 9. The 9 yo helped take care of the 3 yo (baths, entertainment, etc.) so maybe 2 kids is not twice the work. I'll never know.

 

[Alex]

Just to be clear, even though I am thankfully childfree, I like kids, especially when they go home with their parents.
Seriously, Children are lots of work and lots of fun too. For many people they are sources of tremendous joy and fullfillment. I respect that.

I just personally prefer "really nice drapes".

 

[bongo2]

The posts seem to have slowed down, so here are the Census numbers for comparison. No-one has responded to my question about the posters with 5+ kids, but I will take those numbers at face value anyway:

Kids Census ERF
0 19% 39%
1 17% 12%
2 35% 31%
3 18% 8%
4 7% 3%
5-6 3% 5%
7+ 1% 1%

The census numbers are the 2004 survey of women age 40-44, biological children only. Not an exact match, but still interesting for comparison. We seem to have significantly more people with zero children, about the same 1-2, and fewer with 3+. No real surprises, except for those suspicious numbers for 5-7.

It may also be interesting that as recently as 1990 only 15% of women had no children, and in 1980 it was 10%, while in that same time the number with 5+ children has plummeted from about 15% to 3%.

 

[wabmester]

I just personally prefer "really nice drapes".

I think this is one area in which our kid (and dogs and cat) saves us a ton of money. We have stopped buying expensive and fragile high-end crap merchandise. We furnish our home for comfort and robustness. Well, except for that damn piano we had to buy for her piano lessons....

 

[Calgary_Girl]

One daughter so far (6 months old) and would like to have one more in a couple of years. Originally thought we'd like three but I'm not getting any younger and I definitely don't want to be having a baby over 40.

 

[haha]

One daughter so far (6 months old) and would like to have one more in a couple of years. Originally thought we'd like three but I'm not getting any younger and I definitely don't want to be having a baby over 40.

Thsi is like my wife and I we wanted 4, but after 2 she thought the wear and tear might be too much. Best to get going at 22 or so if a big family is a goal.

Ha

 

[laurence]

2nd on the way and a good chance we'll stop there.

We had another thread where some w/o children felt a need to defend that decision, I hope they don't here. I think those who want kids should have them, and those who don't, shouldn't.

I have an Aunt w/o kids, and we know a married couple that the wife's brother never married or had kids, and they are wonderful contributors to the family, the kids (me included) come running to the door to see them. Some of my best childhood memories involve my aunt, and now she is a wonderful great aunt to Tori. So I just wanted to make sure the contributions of "childless" couples/adults do not get overlooked. You don't have to "birth" a kid to help raise the next generation.

On the whole I think it's becoming more and more acceptable to never have kids in our society. Now if we could clean up the adoption process, put some teeth into child abuse laws, we could move towards every child being a wanted child.

 

[shiny]

Yeah, I don't feel the need to defend not having (or wanting) any kids. It just wasn't for me.

I do love spending time with my nieces and nephews and hearing about their funny stories. It also makes me happy for people who have kids to take joy in them. I'm often grateful for not having them (and having a DH who agrees) because I honestly don't know that I could handle the constant stress and worry.

 

[saluki9]

None yet, and praying that my wife would hurry up and finish nursing school so we could get on to breeding.

I have 6 nieces who I love dearly and see at least once a week, but I really want my own.

When I was younger I thought I wanted 4, but after spending time with my sisters I think 2 will be plenty

 

[Outtahere]

I never had that maternal instinct at least not for having children of my own. I enjoy my husbands kids and their kids and my nephews . I also found out at the age of 38 that it would have been impossible for me to have children, strange how things worked out.

 

[astromeria]

My child-free brother is a wonderful uncle to his nieces & nephews. But he's glad he never had his own kids--and that he stayed single. Come to think of it, he's a neat brother, too.

 

[Alex]

I think this is one area in which our kid (and dogs and cat) saves us a ton of money. We have stopped buying expensive and fragile high-end crap merchandise. We furnish our home for comfort and robustness. Well, except for that damn piano we had to buy for her piano lessons....

but you've never seen these drapes! They are made of human flesh....babies actually.

 

[mb]

We only have one boy and he's four. Honestly don't think I am cut out for a lot of kids (anything over 1). Although I recently spent some time with friends and they have two kids 3 and 9. The 9 yo helped take care of the 3 yo (baths, entertainment, etc.) so maybe 2 kids is not twice the work. I'll never know.

With 1 kid you can double-team them
With 2 it's man-to-man
With 3 you have to go to a zone D

 

[Sheryl]

It seems so simple, as Laurence (I think) said - those who want them should have them and those who don't shouldn't. I just never really wanted them. Luckily, since I never even got married, I didn't have to face the family pressure than many people get.

My Dream - I took me a long time to stop saying, "I'm just selfish" when asked why I didn't want kids, so your statement jumped out at me. I finally realized that there is nothing selfish about choosing the lifestyle that is right for me. I don't think it was selfish of you to wait until you were ready for kids to have them, it was smart. You gave a lot of really good reasons for your decision.

On the other hand, I'm happy for you that you have come around to enjoy what you now have. I'm sure if I had children I would have loved them like crazy too.

 

[Nords]

It seems so simple, as Laurence (I think) said - those who want them should have them and those who don't shouldn't. I just never really wanted them.

I'm still not sure whether I want children.

Dr. Phil had an interesting comment the other day: "You can't quit parenthood." Apparently it's a life sentence with no time off for good behavior.

 

[Sheryl]

Dr. Phil had an interesting comment the other day: "You can't quit parenthood." Apparently it's a life sentence with no time off for good behavior.

If only that were true! Social services and jails are full of people whose parents quit or never really started parenting.

 

[J-Lu]

With 1 kid you can double-team them
With 2 it's man-to-man
With 3 you have to go to a zone D

This made me chuckle, and I will have to share it with DH the sports nut. In about 3 weeks we will be having our 2nd (another boy). DH has expressed that he really wants a girl. But I think we should see how we handle "man-to-man" before moving into zone D.

 

[haha]

This made me chuckle, and I will have to share it with DH the sports nut. In about 3 weeks we will be having our 2nd (another boy). DH has expressed that he really wants a girl. But I think we should see how we handle "man-to-man" before moving into zone D.

My mother wanted a girl. She got one on #4. My brothers and I often joked that it's a good thing she didn't come earlier, or we wouldn't have existed.

Still, from their POV it was a worth it. A daughter is good to have, I would like one also. My sister was more helpful to our parents as they aged than any of their sons (including me) were.

Ha

 

[Gumby]

When we first got married (at 25 and 23 yrs old), we thought we would. But then there was the need to finish out my Navy obligation, grad school for her, law school for me, new careers to get started, etc. etc. One day, we woke up and realized we were in our mid-thirties, childless and enjoying life that way. So we never did.

We do have 8 nephews and a niece. Every summer for the past 19 years we have had them come (one or two at a time) to stay with us for a week in the summer. It is fun, but exhausting, and my respect for my bother and sister increases each time. The young wife is also a schoolteacher, which surrounds her with children every day.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

When we first got married (at 25 and 23 yrs old), we thought we would. But then there was the need to finish out my Navy obligation, grad school for her, law school for me, new careers to get started, etc. etc. One day, we woke up and realized we were in our mid-thirties, childless and enjoying life that way. So we never did.

We do have 8 nephews and a niece. Every summer for the past 19 years we have had them come (one or two at a time) to stay with us for a week in the summer. It is fun, but exhausting, and my respect for my bother and sister increases each time. The young wife is also a schoolteacher, which surrounds her with children every day.

My oldest daughter has 5 kids, the oldest is 8. She is 35 and home
schools. Honestly, I don't see how she does it.

JG

 

[kjpliny]

My Dream - I took me a long time to stop saying, "I'm just selfish" when asked why I didn't want kids, so your statement jumped out at me. I finally realized that there is nothing selfish about choosing the lifestyle that is right for me. I don't think it was selfish of you to wait until you were ready for kids to have them, it was smart. You gave a lot of really good reasons for your decision.

The "selfish" statement jumped out at me as well...one can think that being childfree is unselfish in that there will be fewer people on the planet consuming resources and contributing to the overpopulation problem (Hmm, let's all move to India!).

How many times have you heard a young woman say "I want a baby" even though they don't really have the means or skills to properly raise that child...I'd say that person is more selfish than someone who decides being childfree is better for them. It's all a matter of perspective.

 

[Khan]

The "selfish" statement jumped out at me as well...one can think that being childfree is unselfish in that there will be fewer people on the planet consuming resources and contributing to the overpopulation problem (Hmm, let's all move to India!).

How many times have you heard a young woman say "I want a baby" even though they don't really have the means or skills to properly raise that child...I'd say that person is more selfish than someone who decides being childfree is better for them. It's all a matter of perspective.

I wonder if anyone ever says: "I want surly, snarling, hormone-infused 15 year old."?

 

[Nords]

I wonder if anyone ever says: "I want surly, snarling, hormone-infused 15 year old."?

There are plenty of them on the market, and their prices are a lot lower...

 

[Gone4Good]

The "selfish" statement jumped out at me as well...

"Selfish"


Sounds like the sour-grapes of a disgruntled parent who envies the lifestyle choice of the childless childFREE.

 

[Zoocat]

I'll tell you......those "ankle biters" are horribly costly, but my kids are more
important to me than anything. Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but having my
kids was 100% right. Not having children would have been a tragedy
in my case.

JG

How great to read this! I feel exactly the same about mine, two sons, 36, 24, and a daughter, 20. My children are the best part of my life.