A couple of interesting threads on the forum concerning children, their educational costs, and avoiding trainwrecks after turning 18, have me thinking about my own daughters future. She is heading off to college this year and does not have any type of career goal yet. What are some experiences from parents on the forum? Did you assist much? Did they listen? Did they want advice from you?
... and hooking her up (or shadowing) with some of the people who are already working in the field in which she might have an interest.
Like Spanky says, I think the best we can do at that age is to back away and find them a non-parental mentor.
Our daughter is still a work in progress, but from her earliest days she knew that her "job" was to go to school and learn how to be a grownup. Then for the next decade or so it was "Find something that you like to do" and "If you want to buy that then you'd better get a really good job".
A part-time job in high school is a wonderful conversation-starter about what they like and don't like about work... especially if it involves making french fries & cleaning public toilets. Our daughter learned that tutoring at a math/reading franchise means you get to sit on your butt in air-conditioned comfort. She learned about the french fries & toilets from her friend's stories. The nice thing about the part-time job is that she learned her math & reading skills will always enable her to keep herself fed.
Some high schools are offering curriculum tracks, and our daughter took an IT/engineering track. That helped her think about what she wanted to do and then try out things like drafting & building/construction & robotics.
I think the best thing we did for college selection was to get her to pick 3-4 places that she wanted to visit. She made up a list of criteria and screened the colleges for them. Then we visited them! (That's not easy to do, considering all the other things that a high-school teen wants to do with their vacation time.) It gave us all a chance to talk about what questions to ask and what sales/advertising could be manipulated and how she'd like the environment. But most of all it gave her a chance to stand on a campus, look around at the cool college kids & profs, and think "Yeah, I can do this."
I also think it was worth every penny of the college fund to send her to college summer programs
in residence. (Notre Dame charged $1750 for three weeks, USNA was "only" $325 for one week.) The college departments spent the entire time heavily recruiting the attendees (including the local chapter of the Society of Women Engineers) and they got to try a lot of cool stuff. She came back from those more pumped up than the campus visits.
Instead of advising her what to do (beyond "what she likes" and "a really good job") we told her stories about what we did. That may have backfired because she seems to be following in my footsteps. But at least she had plenty of warnings & danger signs along the way and [-]it'll be her own damn fault[/-] she can make an informed choice.
Even if they "don't want to" go to college, I think it's important to walk through the process at one or two campuses just so that they can work through their feelings and see if there's something interesting there after all. One of my co-workers was extremely frustrated that all his teenage son wanted to do was design & play video games. Dad wanted him to make something of himself and threatened him that he would go to college, so he'd better pick a program and a place for them to visit. Luckily the son managed to find a school with a video-game program and everything turned out fine.
I still think the most important thing a parent can do is to help them figure out how to connect with mentors. Everything beyond that can turn into a parental control issue, and we know everyone loses in those battles.
I could go on for hours . . .DD didn't have a career focus after HS, and wasn't especially excited about the "college hunt." She decided on a local state college, and we agreed to pay (incl a dorm room).
Truth is, her heart wasn't in it and she went because we (esp I) expected it. I don't know if she attended any classes. 18 months later and she's finishing up her cosmetology training. She's happy. She's much more wise to the world today. I don't know exactly how this story turns out, and it is perhaps the biggest concern I've got.
After all these months, I'm glad to hear that this story is heading for a happy ending!