How would you allocate limited resources among multiple kids

[KM]

If funds are limited, then I'd do #4.

Under NO circumstances would I ever consider #2!!!! [emoji15]

 

[MichaelB]

I say give it all to the eldest son. If he dies, then the next oldest son. Worked for centuries.

This stopped working around the same time they did away with child labor laws, children stopped earning their keep and became a drag on family fortunes. If they hadn't done that, OP wouldn't have to deal with this challenge.

Another option is for OP to keep all the funds, let the children figure out their college plans and how to finance on their own, assuming no help is forthcoming. Once college is over, distribute any funds based on the prevailing circumstances then. Things may have changed.

 

[DrBrisket]

OP here.
...I think I am leaning more toward $X/3 with an adjustment for inflation. ....

We are doing something similar. Eldest DS is in college right now, and youngest of 4 is 12 academic years behind him. DW and I decided that we would fund up to a point for each of them equally with an adjustment for the cost increase over time given the large time differentials. If they go over their predetermined limit, they are on their own to make up the short fall. If they stay under their limit, they will get the unspent amount as cash.

 

[tulak]

We've told our kids that we will pay for a full ride up to the most expensive in-state public university. DS is going to a cheaper in-state university, so it could be that we'll spend less on him than on DD.

Oh well. We try and treat our kids equally, but the reality is that it'll never be 100% equal. What I think is more important is that they are given an equal deal. The choices they make around that are up to them.

For example, what happens if DS decides to study abroad and we decide to pay for it? Or DD takes an out of state trip with her sports team?

In this case, we negotiate with them one-on-one and assume it will average out in the end. So far DS and DD think it's been fair, so no issues.

I suspect our case would be harder if we couldn't afford the full ride we are offering to each of them. But fortunately we can (or will) and both of our kids feel that it's a good deal.

 

[SecondCor521]

I'll have to work on my spreadsheet a little bit...

Updated my spreadsheet and had some interesting realizations:

1. Currently $X is enough to fund 8.86 semesters of 4-year-public-in-state-university-tuition-fees-room-board-books-travel-stipend, which is the yardstick I use, inflation adjusted for when they are anticipated to use the funds. Let's call these Units.

2. The money is in college accounts (529s and ESAs) so I can shift it around as needed. In theory, currently kid #3's accounts are overfunded by about $53K and kid #1's account is underfunded by about that same amount. I probably won't move the money because (a) kid #1 may not finish college for a while, (b) I'd have to move some again later; the accounts get out of whack over time due to various things, and (c) it biases my investments a little more aggressively because the 529s are all in age-based target-date-style investments.

3. Under the previous regime where each kid was funded according to their need, kid #1 was getting the shaft because he's frugal. He went to public high school through his senior year then went to an inexpensive online high school to finish. He then chose to go to an in-state-public-university-on-scholarship for a year which was basically free, then did another semester there and then dropped out to do the working+apartment thing. He's only spent 1.42 Units so far but has about half a 4-year degree done.

4. Because of kid #1's frugality and the "to-each-according-to-his-need" thing, kid #2 was getting an excess benefit. He is going to an expensive-but-necessary private high school which is very good for him and what he needs, but again very expensive - equivalent to about 4.97 Units.

I think I was a bit lucky in that I told kid #2 when he was contemplating the expensive private school that it could come from his college fund and that I might try to back fill but there were no guarantees. Kid #3 is now thinking about attending a different private high school for the next three years that would be about 2.5 Units. Offering her essentially the same deal that I offered to kid #2 would be essentially equivalent to the "inflation-adjusted-equal" approach I'm considering now.

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

interesting thought

I say give it all to the eldest son. If he dies, then the next oldest son. Worked for centuries.

i have 4 older sisters, by the time i came along, 13 years their junior they were in high school, i would have gotten the whole thing. the kick is we all paid for our own college, the thought of my dad with his 10th grade education and him paying for our college and him working 7 days a week in his delicatessen never crossed our minds. i weakened the position, i paid for A's 100 % and 50 % for B's zero for C and D's. im sure if he has children he will pay for room, board, tuition, pocket money,car books, international travel etc, . i wont live to see the next generation after that , but im sure the position will weaken more, The reason i paid only paid for A's and B's is i didnt want to fund a party, or fund someone who wasn't college material, secondly i was a blue collar worker that maxed out at $961 a week pay after 26 years of work, im my mind paying for college was already going over the top. i didnt pay 10 cents for the time he wanted a car,i did console him when he crashed it a few weeks later and he took a total loss . sorry kid i needed to make sure mom is protected first , you get the excess.

 

[ivinsfan]

Updated my spreadsheet and had some interesting realizations:

1. Currently $X is enough to fund 8.86 semesters of 4-year-public-in-state-university-tuition-fees-room-board-books-travel-stipend, which is the yardstick I use, inflation adjusted for when they are anticipated to use the funds. Let's call these Units.

2. The money is in college accounts (529s and ESAs) so I can shift it around as needed. In theory, currently kid #3's accounts are overfunded by about $53K and kid #1's account is underfunded by about that same amount. I probably won't move the money because (a) kid #1 may not finish college for a while, (b) I'd have to move some again later; the accounts get out of whack over time due to various things, and (c) it biases my investments a little more aggressively because the 529s are all in age-based target-date-style investments.

3. Under the previous regime where each kid was funded according to their need, kid #1 was getting the shaft because he's frugal. He went to public high school through his senior year then went to an inexpensive online high school to finish. He then chose to go to an in-state-public-university-on-scholarship for a year which was basically free, then did another semester there and then dropped out to do the working+apartment thing. He's only spent 1.42 Units so far but has about half a 4-year degree done.

4. Because of kid #1's frugality and the "to-each-according-to-his-need" thing, kid #2 was getting an excess benefit. He is going to an expensive-but-necessary private high school which is very good for him and what he needs, but again very expensive - equivalent to about 4.97 Units.

I think I was a bit lucky in that I told kid #2 when he was contemplating the expensive private school that it could come from his college fund and that I might try to back fill but there were no guarantees. Kid #3 is now thinking about attending a different private high school for the next three years that would be about 2.5 Units. Offering her essentially the same deal that I offered to kid #2 would be essentially equivalent to the "inflation-adjusted-equal" approach I'm considering now.

I gotta disagree with the comment about kid number 1 "getting the shaft"..The fact is, he is not "fugal" but in fact is independent, can think for himself and look out for himself.. and knows the time/value of a buck. are you saying the private high school cost is equaling one year of college costs. And number 2 wants to spend almost 2 years of college costs on private school. I know nothing about the public schools in your area or your kids,but this looks like it could be a slippery slope you are sliding down.

 

[SecondCor521]

@ivinsfan, you're right, you don't know my kids. I'll take you at face value that you don't know our local public schools.

I didn't explain very well about kid #1. It's complicated, but he was getting the shaft because of some bugs in my spreadsheet (!). More than that, my previous inclination to be biased towards a "get each kid to a bachelor's degree debt free" vs. "here is $X/3, get as far as you can with it" was shifting resources from him to kid #2. Under the latter regime, kid #1 has about $27K extra because he's efficient.

Kid #1 is, in fact, both frugal and an independent thinker. He's brilliant - no really, he is - but admits he can't see further into the future than what he's doing in the next half hour. He's not going to college because ... well again, it's complicated but has to do with a combination of all of those things, plus more I won't get into here.

The private high schools in question are almost as expensive as college (kid #2) and about half as expensive as college (kid #3). Kid #2 would quite literally not have graduated from HS without going to the school he's at now, but will hopefully graduate with about the equivalent of a year or two of university under his belt when he finishes HS there. I view private HS for him in some respects as funding a gap year and his first year or so of college.

Kid #3 is looking at switching from the public school where IIRC about 35% go on to college to a private HS where about 98% go on to college. She'd go to college regardless but the environment, as you can imagine, is completely different and could be worth it from that angle.

 

[ivinsfan]

I just noticed you live in Idaho..you don't need to say another word about the private schools . My niece taught public school there for 15 years until she just said Uncle. Education is expensive no doubt about it..and good luck to all your. Isn't it amazing how differently they each turn out.

 

[SecondCor521]

OP, just a note-- what Starsky is suggesting is not likely to work. First of all, one cannot just file their own taxes to be considered "independent". To not be considered a dependent of you, your child would have to supply more than 50% of their own living expenses. Not many high school (none?) students can manage that.

Then, when it comes to financial aid, colleges consider the parents income and other resources until the student is married or age 26. Declaring "my kid is on their own, I'm not paying for college" is not the magic phrase to get them extra financial aid.

As to your question, I would give my financial support for higher education equally.

Yup, I'm aware that the FAFSA rules don't work that way. Thanks!

 

[Texas Proud]

i have 4 older sisters, by the time i came along, 13 years their junior they were in high school, i would have gotten the whole thing. the kick is we all paid for our own college, the thought of my dad with his 10th grade education and him paying for our college and him working 7 days a week in his delicatessen never crossed our minds. i weakened the position, i paid for A's 100 % and 50 % for B's zero for C and D's. im sure if he has children he will pay for room, board, tuition, pocket money,car books, international travel etc, . i wont live to see the next generation after that , but im sure the position will weaken more, The reason i paid only paid for A's and B's is i didnt want to fund a party, or fund someone who wasn't college material, secondly i was a blue collar worker that maxed out at $961 a week pay after 26 years of work, im my mind paying for college was already going over the top. i didnt pay 10 cents for the time he wanted a car,i did console him when he crashed it a few weeks later and he took a total loss . sorry kid i needed to make sure mom is protected first , you get the excess.

Well, that is an interesting point.... I do not have to worry about not getting As with my son... but, he does know that if he is making Cs then his funding dries up... So, he can get it for one semester as I do pay before the grades... maybe two for a bit, but then nothing...

 

[FUEGO]

I chimed in earlier, but I'll put in another word for even split $X/3.

My dad saved a little bit for me and my brother when we were kids (as in $10k for my brother and $3k for me by 1998 when I turned 18; we didn't come from big money). After I finished undergrad and didn't end up needing help from my parents for more than the first year or so, I was in law school and had just purchased a condo for $71000.

My dad found out I was paying PMI on the mortgage, asked what it would take to get rid of it, and I told him $7000. So he offered me $7000 so I could save quite a bit on PMI but also to make it "even" between me and my brother in terms of the cash they had gifted us.

I figure my brother and I probably ended up about even in education spending outside of the $10k cash gift. He went to community college for a few years while living at home, plus a $5000 computer/IT school (circa 1999 pre dot com bust when a pulse and a 2 week computer course could snag a $50,000+ starting salary in our little tech hub of Raleigh). I lived on campus at the state university in town. Mine was more expensive for the one year my parents helped out but I was able to pay for it on my own starting year 2 thanks to merit scholarships and grants.

I know my parents wanted to make it as even as possible but I don't think they really tracked the total educational spending in great detail. My dad probably had a good rough estimate that we were mostly equal hence the cash he threw my way to pay down the mortgage a bit. It feels right to me and I hope to do something similar for my kids. If one ends up graduating college in 3 years and finding good scholarships, I might toss some of the savings their way versus another kid that takes 4+ years and doesn't pursue free scholarship money and grants.

 

[SecondCor521]

OP here. Interestingly, my Dad funded each of his three kids according to our needs/wants. As one of those kids, I never worried about equality because I knew my parents were more generous than most so it would have seemed silly and unseemly to complain when I had it better than almost everyone else I knew.