iloveyoga
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I agree with the recommendations for Dave Ramsey for reducing or eliminating debt. That was step 1 for us for being able to FIRE.
I am 37 y/o from NW Indiana and need financial advice
- Thread starter Robocp4
- Start date
You have to get on the same page as your husband. He needs to work with you as a team. I would challenge him to think of the advice he has received in his life relating to money...
Does paying off high interest debt sound familiar? YES! So do that! Live below your means. We didn't get too much into how much you earn and your expenses...but you need to cut your expenses...even if it means eating Ramen Noodles and Bean Burritos for a year. (YES a person can survive on this, because I had a friend who did this to get his student loans paid off).
Take care of that baby! Try not to argue about money in front of the baby. My folks literally still spend half their waking moments arguing about money in front of us kids and its all for nothing.
You two need to be like the Financial Power Couple! It's cool to save money, its not cool to recklessly spend. Be cool about it! Literally, say no to anything that costs money. Once you understand what you can go without, and you actually go without...you will find you didn't much need or care for it in the first place.
Try not to let the emotions get the best of eachother when working on the plan, and stick to the plan.
My wife at one point in my life *before we were married* literally had to do a weekly check-in with me where we both discuss what was spent...its pretty simple to keep track of the "what was earned" pile...its not easy to spend less. Make that your lifes mission.
Welcome to the forum.
BTW...those weekly check-ins...I dreaded them...but now we do monthly check-ins and IMHO it allows us to literally live the rest of the month without worry. Worry creates stress, stress leads to unclear or bad decision- making. Keep er cool!
Does paying off high interest debt sound familiar? YES! So do that! Live below your means. We didn't get too much into how much you earn and your expenses...but you need to cut your expenses...even if it means eating Ramen Noodles and Bean Burritos for a year. (YES a person can survive on this, because I had a friend who did this to get his student loans paid off).
Take care of that baby! Try not to argue about money in front of the baby. My folks literally still spend half their waking moments arguing about money in front of us kids and its all for nothing.
You two need to be like the Financial Power Couple! It's cool to save money, its not cool to recklessly spend. Be cool about it! Literally, say no to anything that costs money. Once you understand what you can go without, and you actually go without...you will find you didn't much need or care for it in the first place.
Try not to let the emotions get the best of eachother when working on the plan, and stick to the plan.
My wife at one point in my life *before we were married* literally had to do a weekly check-in with me where we both discuss what was spent...its pretty simple to keep track of the "what was earned" pile...its not easy to spend less. Make that your lifes mission.
Welcome to the forum.
BTW...those weekly check-ins...I dreaded them...but now we do monthly check-ins and IMHO it allows us to literally live the rest of the month without worry. Worry creates stress, stress leads to unclear or bad decision- making. Keep er cool!
jazz4cash
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I just use excel to track my debt.
I watched a Denzel Rodriguez video. It didn’t make any sense to me. I only watched one video so maybe I’m missing something , but I doubt it. I agree with the suggestions here to get on the same page with DH which I know you are trying to do. Good Luck.
I know it goes against the snowball method, but I would be paying down higher rate debt and trying to replace it with lower rate debt.
pb4uski
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
+1 I think paying down higher interest rate debt first is optimal... but if the snowball method is more satisfying for you and helps you stick to the plan it is better than slipping back to your old ways.
Bryan Barnfellow
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Welcome, Robocp4. Would you trust the advice of a neurosurgeon with a name like Denzel Napoleon or Randall Cloud?! Not I, never. Also, "Debt Acceleration" seems to describe what the velocity banking really does. I WOULD STAY AWAY FROM THESE GIMMICKS. Someone is making money from selling them. You can be sure of it.
I was your age when my wife and I got serious about saving, investing, and making a plan for the future, which included retiring early. We were successful because we both committed to both the idea and the plan. In fact, as I have often said, "the Plan" became a third person in our marriage. It nearly always had a vote in financial decisions. When one of us wanted to go around the budget, the other might respond with, "But that isn't in the plan, is it? What do you/I/we give up then?"
Twenty years of strictly budgeting and disciplined spending allowed us to reach our goal. In fact our increasing success at implementing the plan became one of our singular accomplishments as a couple. We are so proud of ourselves for what we did, even if we argued a bit in the beginning. After a while, as positive results, big and small, accumulated, we started to enjoy talking about our finances!
You and hubby can do that too. Commit and recommit often to a shared vision. Decide on your financial (and other) goals. Make a budget that will guide your spending. Track what you spend and why first, then incorporate that into your budget process. With clear eyes, separate "needs" from "wants" and be sure that your budget is filled with "needs" with only a sprinkling of "wants."
For example, we both like eating out and set a monthly budget for that. When we spent it we were especially careful about where we ate. In the end by reducing the expenditure level we eliminated a lot of unsatisfying, spur of the moment experiences and savored our fewer, and thus more precious, well considered ones. Somehow the food tasted better that way.
Always try to "pay yourself first" by making the savings line in the budget a priority. Learn as you go and update your budget and plan as you get experienced in this. Think of your marriage in part as a business partnership with a need for controlled expenditure and capital retention.
Have a monthly "board meeting" with review of progress toward the plan, setbacks (with recovery responses), projections, and estimates. During the last week in December do a short annual report.
Last, celebrate every damn little victory. Go out and have drinks with umbrellas in them and take a picture. Keep the photos with your plan and budget documents.
One last thing. This Velocity Banking scheme is a clear and present danger to your goals. NO reputable financial guru or advisor backs this hare-brained idea. There is only loss, regret, and tears at the end of it.
By the way, now, nearly 30 years later my wife and I are retired (early) and we remark often on how lucky we were to have found in each other equal levels of commitment for a shared vision. After paying off a mortgage twenty years ago we were never in debt again. We treated it like poison, a disease, and so didn't go near it.
You can do all of this too!
-BB
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jazz4cash
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I was on the fence wrt the Velocity Banking concept. It seemed sketchy but maybe it could help some folks attack their debt in a focused disciplined way. Digging in a bit more, I see Mr Rodriguez would like to get paid hundreds of dollars for a “masterclass” webinar and annual fees of $1k. No Way!!! I hope your DH does not intend to pay for the VB program. In any event there’s nothing better than making extra principal payments but you don’t need an LOC for that. I consider myself a numbers guy and I am stunned that many people take the bait on this.
Unfortunately, some folks in financially difficult situations look for quick-fix cures like "velocity banking" rather than slower but steady and realistic methods of change.
You need to get to a state where you aren't living paycheck to paycheck. The only realistic way to do that is:
- more income
- lower expenses
- some combination of both
You chose to have a baby while being in debt. And you chose to give up 700-900 per month in order to stay home with baby. Now you need a car for baby. Sounds like something has to give here.
Clearly your should exchange your sports car for something more practical but not new. You both should be looking for other ways to cut back on expenses.
And you should think seriously if you can contribute to the income side by working. If you don't want to put baby into daycare, perhaps you could do some in-home daycare yourself? Perhaps your husband needs to consider a second job - at least until you are out of debt.
Good luck.
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Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
Yes Denzel has a "class" that helps you with the velocity banking. Of course he isn't going to buy into that, but he is buying (not $) into what his brother tells him and how it worked for him. I am also a numbers person and I just can't see the future with doing velocity or debt acceleration as some have called it. You're just moving debt to pay debt. Robbing Peter to pay Paul in my eyes.
Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
BB, I definitely would not trust a neurosurgeon with those names. I wish I could stay away from these gimmicks but hubby is all about this velocity banking because of his brother. Every time he talks to his brother, he asks him if he started it yet. This weekend is going to be horrible as his brother is visiting from TX and will definitely be bringing it up and of course we are spending tomm and Sat with them.
DH says that financial people don't approve of it because they don't know how to do it properly. But I, same as you, know better and know that they don't approve of it because it's a get rich quick scheme.
Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
Try telling my husband that. He doesn't think velocity banking is a problem. He raved about it because his brother is doing it. It's not for everyone and we are one of them it's not good for. He just will not see my side of things.
Not much has been shared about your income and expenses, if you aren't already you need to track both down to the penny while you are on this debt elimination journey. I still track our expenses 26 years later even though we paid off our last debt (mortgage) over 10 years ago.
I have used Quicken since the 1990's, but there isn't a need to buy new software. There is power in just using a spiral notebook at first and spending 10 minutes every night logging all of the cash/credit card/checks that was spent that day. This will show you if you are spending more or less than your household income. I suggest that you use your DH base income (not including OT) when building your budget. You can then use any OT income for additional debt paydown. I live in a blue collar area and I have seen too many families get used to spending OT income and have major financial strain when the OT stops.
Earlier it was mentioned that you should consider yourself the Chief Operating Officer of the household. Examine every dollar spent to determine if there is a better option. Use Aldi for groceries, investigate less expensive phone plans (lots of threads on this forum), drop cable (cut the cord 15 years ago - still miss ESPN, but enjoy the $1,200/year more).
Omalley
I have used Quicken since the 1990's, but there isn't a need to buy new software. There is power in just using a spiral notebook at first and spending 10 minutes every night logging all of the cash/credit card/checks that was spent that day. This will show you if you are spending more or less than your household income. I suggest that you use your DH base income (not including OT) when building your budget. You can then use any OT income for additional debt paydown. I live in a blue collar area and I have seen too many families get used to spending OT income and have major financial strain when the OT stops.
Earlier it was mentioned that you should consider yourself the Chief Operating Officer of the household. Examine every dollar spent to determine if there is a better option. Use Aldi for groceries, investigate less expensive phone plans (lots of threads on this forum), drop cable (cut the cord 15 years ago - still miss ESPN, but enjoy the $1,200/year more).
Omalley
Go-NoGo
Recycles dryer sheets
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Another analogy that might help: think of it as moving a bunch of IOU's from your left and right front pockets to your back pocket.
As others have mentioned debt consolidation by itself is not a bad thing, but as always the devil is in the details.
1. How much does this "service" cost?
2. Could you not do the same by paying the higher interest rate debt first?
3. And most importantly - once your debt is consolidated off, will you then be tempted to spend more and potentially acquire more debt?
Rather than confronting DH head on why velocity banking is a bad idea, perhaps you can get the number$ for VB and then do a side by side comparison ?
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pb4uski
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Your post piqued my curiosity so I went our and viewed a couple videos on velocity banking by the Valley Investment Club since they didn't seem to be selling anything. I wouldn't call it a scam.... just woefully misinformed.
As background, I'm a retired CPA with an MBA and spent my entire career in finance, including complex financial analysis for multi-million dollar projects.
The second video that I viewed advocated "chunking"... putting a $13,000 additional principal payment on a 20% credit card and then paying the credit card off by paying $2,000/month for ~7 months and then repeating the process until the mortgage is paid off.
The poster was mesmurized by the fact that he would pay less interest over the term of the mortgage loan because he was paying it off quicker. I'm not sure why he was so mesmurized because it should be intuitively obvious that if you make additional principal payments on a mortgage that you will pay less interest... and that applies whether you do it in chunks or in equal additional principal payments monthly.
What he totally missed was the option of just paying the $2,000/month that would go to payoff the $13,000 20% credit card balance over 7 months directly to the mortgage loan as additional monthly principal payments.... either option is $2,000/month out the door.
By chunking, while he paid less interest than paying the mortgage over its 30 years, he paid more interest than if he just put $2,000/month additional towards the mortgage. By chunking he paid $46,120 in interest over the life of the mortgage vs $40,418 by just applying the same payments that would pay off the credit card directly to the mortgage.
So in this case, velocity banking cost the poster $5,702 more than what keeping it simple would have because by chunking he shifted $13,000 in debt from 6% interest to 20% interest every 7 months and he did it 11 times over the life of the mortgage.
$13,000/2 * (20%-14%)* (7/12) * 11 times = $5,839 ~ $5,702.
It just proves the old addage that there is no such thing as a free lunch.
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pb4uski
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Also found this:
https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-velocity-banking-tipping-podcast-basics-and-more/
You could much more easily accomplish the same result by just periodically writing a check for the balance of your checking account over $x as additional principal payment on your debt.... with less risk of losing your home.
In your case you don't have enough home equity to get a HELOC so I'm not sure how you could do it even if you wanted to.
https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-velocity-banking-tipping-podcast-basics-and-more/
You could much more easily accomplish the same result by just periodically writing a check for the balance of your checking account over $x as additional principal payment on your debt.... with less risk of losing your home.
In your case you don't have enough home equity to get a HELOC so I'm not sure how you could do it even if you wanted to.
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Lot of good advice here. I’ll focus on a few. First, you and your husband are not on the same page. This is no exaggeration, you need to treat this like living with an alcoholic. Him wanting to buy a 70” tv while you’re in this level of debt is proof enough that you have a serious problem on your hand. I would take this opportunity, his interest in Velocity (scam), and see if he will go to a Dave Ramsey meeting with you. If not, many other non profit credit counseling programs are out there. Don’t do anything but pay down your existing debt. Transferring money to another loan is just a shell game that will get you into trouble. My prediction is that if DH went on Velocity’s program, he would realize that he now has more credit available and that 70” tv would be in your house in no time. Get serious, because this is serious.
Budget. A budget makes no sense until you get a DH on the same page, but you do need a budget and he needs to be committed to it.
If you ask people on this site how they got financially independent, I’m sure none of them did it with a spouse that wasn’t on the same page. In my time here I’ve seen stories that mention their first spouse not being compatible financially. Sure, there can be some tension between spouses, but if you’re not walking in the same direction, you’re walking apart. Use this time to work with DH to get together on this.
It was also mentioned that you should consider making some income. I agree that staying home is ideal and that it can seem hardly worth it if you have to pay for child care. However, $700 per month is a nice chunk to put down on your debt every month. Try to find ways to bring in some money. Maybe you could watch someone else’s child. Get creative and put all that money down on your debt.
I hope the best for you.
Budget. A budget makes no sense until you get a DH on the same page, but you do need a budget and he needs to be committed to it.
If you ask people on this site how they got financially independent, I’m sure none of them did it with a spouse that wasn’t on the same page. In my time here I’ve seen stories that mention their first spouse not being compatible financially. Sure, there can be some tension between spouses, but if you’re not walking in the same direction, you’re walking apart. Use this time to work with DH to get together on this.
It was also mentioned that you should consider making some income. I agree that staying home is ideal and that it can seem hardly worth it if you have to pay for child care. However, $700 per month is a nice chunk to put down on your debt every month. Try to find ways to bring in some money. Maybe you could watch someone else’s child. Get creative and put all that money down on your debt.
I hope the best for you.
Audie Murphy
Recycles dryer sheets
The sacrifices are all temporary. Suck it up in the short term for the long term win.
The "problem" isn't insurmountable at all
What am I missing that seems obvious to everybody else? So many of the comments read as if OP is in a death spiral. I reread the whole thread and I still don't see that.
A mid-30s couple has some consumer debt, but 33k is hardly a crushing amount. Their mortgage of 180k doesn't sound like they went crazy and bought the Biltmore House. The wife is home tending their baby (plus a 9 year-old), in exchange for leaving a j*b that represented about only 20% of the household monthly take; in the big picture, an excellent decision.
The husband made a few comments about buying a tv so large it won't fit in the house, and we're supposed to think he's serious? I give voice to idle speculation all the time. That's all it is, idle speculation.
Seriously, what does she need to do? Read up on indexing and AAs? Easier done than said. Trade the sports car for a more practical family vehicle? Piece of cake. Put together a budget, prioritize saving and debt reduction, and stick to it? Well within her grasp.
Also, there is consensus about this Velocity scheme being sub-optimal, but if it serves as a leash on hubby's impulse buys, then it could be a good thing. Not perfect, but one should never let perfect be the enemy of good.
At 37, the OP is looking for ways to get on the FIRE track, and my perception is that she has a lot going for her. They have only moderate debt, DH has a decent job, and they're young enough that it's not anywhere near too late. There was no mention of disabilities, medical challenges, or addictions. Certainly there was no mention of soul-sucking Death Eaters such as some of the members of my family.
What data did OP share that others interpret differently?
What am I missing that seems obvious to everybody else? So many of the comments read as if OP is in a death spiral. I reread the whole thread and I still don't see that.
A mid-30s couple has some consumer debt, but 33k is hardly a crushing amount. Their mortgage of 180k doesn't sound like they went crazy and bought the Biltmore House. The wife is home tending their baby (plus a 9 year-old), in exchange for leaving a j*b that represented about only 20% of the household monthly take; in the big picture, an excellent decision.
The husband made a few comments about buying a tv so large it won't fit in the house, and we're supposed to think he's serious? I give voice to idle speculation all the time. That's all it is, idle speculation.
Seriously, what does she need to do? Read up on indexing and AAs? Easier done than said. Trade the sports car for a more practical family vehicle? Piece of cake. Put together a budget, prioritize saving and debt reduction, and stick to it? Well within her grasp.
Also, there is consensus about this Velocity scheme being sub-optimal, but if it serves as a leash on hubby's impulse buys, then it could be a good thing. Not perfect, but one should never let perfect be the enemy of good.
At 37, the OP is looking for ways to get on the FIRE track, and my perception is that she has a lot going for her. They have only moderate debt, DH has a decent job, and they're young enough that it's not anywhere near too late. There was no mention of disabilities, medical challenges, or addictions. Certainly there was no mention of soul-sucking Death Eaters such as some of the members of my family.
What data did OP share that others interpret differently?
I totally agree and made the same point above. OP has already started on the path, there are a number of positives to her credit, the obstacles are not insurmountable. She - and he - can do this! I do think it important that they get on the same page, but I think that is doable. OP sounds motivated and observant.
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I may be reading too much into it, but I think where we differ is as follows:
I think $33K of consumer debt is a lot.
She is 37. That's about the time where things should be getting better, not worse.
Husband is enthralled with a debt scheme that I think could be disastrous. Exchanging a mortgage for a line of credit is, I think, a scam, crazy to do and could risk the house.
The 70" tv is just a signal, maybe incorrectly read, that the husband is a spender and the wife is coming across as a saver. This is a big deal as we've seen described here a few times.
I agree that at their age and with husband having a good job, they can get this going in the right direction but the current signs lead me to want to warn the OP to take this seriously. 37 becomes 47 and before you know it, you're 67 and living on SS because you never had a plan and were on separate pages from your spouse.
The absolute worse thing is the belief in Velocity as a good path forward. If that was off the table, I'd feel like a huge step was made in the right direction.
As always, this is just my opinion. Worth what it was paid for. However, I have enough life experience at 58 and 63 with my spouse and enough financial acumen as a CPA/Financial professional to think my opinion is at least worth considering in this case. I've seen a few train wrecks and this is one way they start.
I think $33K of consumer debt is a lot.
She is 37. That's about the time where things should be getting better, not worse.
Husband is enthralled with a debt scheme that I think could be disastrous. Exchanging a mortgage for a line of credit is, I think, a scam, crazy to do and could risk the house.
The 70" tv is just a signal, maybe incorrectly read, that the husband is a spender and the wife is coming across as a saver. This is a big deal as we've seen described here a few times.
I agree that at their age and with husband having a good job, they can get this going in the right direction but the current signs lead me to want to warn the OP to take this seriously. 37 becomes 47 and before you know it, you're 67 and living on SS because you never had a plan and were on separate pages from your spouse.
The absolute worse thing is the belief in Velocity as a good path forward. If that was off the table, I'd feel like a huge step was made in the right direction.
As always, this is just my opinion. Worth what it was paid for. However, I have enough life experience at 58 and 63 with my spouse and enough financial acumen as a CPA/Financial professional to think my opinion is at least worth considering in this case. I've seen a few train wrecks and this is one way they start.
jazz4cash
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
PB4’s assessment in post #38 is spot on. I watched that one also. All of the Velocity banking examples include people with excess cash flow. Rather than apply it directly to their debts they create a convoluted scheme that adds cost to the solution. Worst case they will create additional debt at high interest rates. They claim the rate you get doesn’t matter.
Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
He said we would get a personal line of credit not a heloc. Of course there are possibly more stipulations because it would be unsecured. I have no idea I haven't looked into it because I'm against it but he is really ready to go to the bank and get one.
I tried telling him about the interest that you mentioned, that we could just make extra principal payments, no it wouldn't go away that quick but the debt would go down slowly, but we would have to stay on track doing it that way vs the LOC and having $x just dangling in front of us.
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Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
That is a very good analogy with treating him like an alcoholic. I would have never thought of it that way. We have fought a ton just over this velocity banking. He is ready to go to the bank and do it without my approval. I have tried to work with him but I'm 100% against VB and he is 100% for it. I'm not sure what else to say to him to get on the same page. He wants to pay things off quickly which ok I get but we still have that debt just in a different place. And with giving them his paycheck every week doesn't do crap when we need almost all his check to live. So then we aren't getting anywhere.
As far as income for me. Yes we did lose that $700/mo but I should have mentioned that we were paying childcare (for only child at the time) and it was $500-600 /mo. So for me to work and only bring home 200 a month isn't worth it when we would have 2 in childcare. I also am not one to watch other people's children. That is just not my fortay. I have tried to find side jobs but I can't get a PT job as hubby is in the trades and goes to different job sites weekly of not daily. Right now he is driving almost 2 hrs one way for work so he isn't home until maybe 6pm if he doesn't catch traffic. So finding a job that would let me work whenever I could come in, isn't likely. I have tried to sell my essential oils but I don't like pushing people to buy things like that. I have been applying to remote jobs from a specific group mom group that's credited. Just havent gotten anything yet.
Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
Yes it would be exactly moving the IOUs to the back pocket.
1. It doesn't cost anything, as we aren't going to take courses on it of get help from a financial guru. His brother doesn't make anything off of it either.
2. Not sure what you mean by doing the same with the higher debt. The highest debt in interest is the store credit card and the highest amount is his suv.
3. I wouldn't be tempted because I have self control but I'm not sure about him. Like I said earlier he wanted to buy a 70" TV with the money left over from our insurance claim (we did the work and saved a ton)
The problem with the numbers and side by side is that he did them and VB looks great on paper. Everything looks great in paper. It's like a burger King commercial, the whopper looks great on TV but when you get it, it definitely doesn't look like the TV one. He also thinks because we would pay them off quickly, that once the LOC is paid off, we could use that for say a car for me or something. But I said in another post that his whole paycheck would go in but almost all of it would come back out leaving us with what maybe a $200 payment technically. (I am trying to save while doing all this so some money goes into savings each check).
Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
I wish I could just tell him that but he will not listen
Robocp4
Dryer sheet wannabe
Thank you everyone, this is great advice and help. Of course we fought again today about VB since his brother is now in town. He was ready to go to the bank and get one without me. (he didn't)
So to clear a few things up from my OP...
The $700+/- that I brought home went to paying childcare so I only had roughly $1-200 left. Also, that was only 1 child and he was also going to school. So for 2 kids, (one who definitely needs to be watched) I was getting $1000+ in childcare. And that $1000 was from a trusted neighbor. This is why we decided it was better for me to stay home since we would have been losing money. Now I don't pay childcare nor gas every week so I tech save some money.
My sports car.... I won't get crap for trade, I did it on KBB and it's worth about $500. I figured I'd just keep it since that is crap for trade in dollars and it's paid off. I just don't go anywhere unless I absolutely, it can't wait, have to go (Dr appts).
I am very motivated to become debt free as I am tired of worrying all the time about bills and our future.
As far as any disabilities, mental illness, or addictions, I have a severe anxiety disorder. I am on meds daily and see a counselor however, when I get this stressed out about something, I get sick. DH sees this but his answer to me being sick when he talks about VB, is to "not worry about it" and "we won't be in debt more" I like to have a plan and control over things and with VB I wouldn't be in control. With my way, I am in control 100% and feel way better knowing I can check a bills off as paid.
Oh and lastly the 70" TV, he was series about. He was measuring our wall and pricing them out. Our living room isn't big enough for that TV. We would be blind watching it. We have a nice 40 something inch and it works perfect for me. Maybe get a 50 inch but no bigger. Heck our couches are only 5-6 feet off the TV wall. The roon is only about a 12x12 (there a foyer attached that makes it one large long room but there is a door there so it's kinda ends where we put the edge of the couches.
I hope that cleared a few things up.
So to clear a few things up from my OP...
The $700+/- that I brought home went to paying childcare so I only had roughly $1-200 left. Also, that was only 1 child and he was also going to school. So for 2 kids, (one who definitely needs to be watched) I was getting $1000+ in childcare. And that $1000 was from a trusted neighbor. This is why we decided it was better for me to stay home since we would have been losing money. Now I don't pay childcare nor gas every week so I tech save some money.
My sports car.... I won't get crap for trade, I did it on KBB and it's worth about $500. I figured I'd just keep it since that is crap for trade in dollars and it's paid off. I just don't go anywhere unless I absolutely, it can't wait, have to go (Dr appts).
I am very motivated to become debt free as I am tired of worrying all the time about bills and our future.
As far as any disabilities, mental illness, or addictions, I have a severe anxiety disorder. I am on meds daily and see a counselor however, when I get this stressed out about something, I get sick. DH sees this but his answer to me being sick when he talks about VB, is to "not worry about it" and "we won't be in debt more" I like to have a plan and control over things and with VB I wouldn't be in control. With my way, I am in control 100% and feel way better knowing I can check a bills off as paid.
Oh and lastly the 70" TV, he was series about. He was measuring our wall and pricing them out. Our living room isn't big enough for that TV. We would be blind watching it. We have a nice 40 something inch and it works perfect for me. Maybe get a 50 inch but no bigger. Heck our couches are only 5-6 feet off the TV wall. The roon is only about a 12x12 (there a foyer attached that makes it one large long room but there is a door there so it's kinda ends where we put the edge of the couches.
I hope that cleared a few things up.
