I am starting to understand Introverts

I don't want to understand anyone. I have enough work figuring myself out.

All you people that want to be left alone, I'm never gonna bother you, promise.
 
Love this thread! I was definitely an extrovert when I was younger, but as time has gone on I've come to really love solitude and less noise even though I live in NYC!

I think when I retired at 50 three and a half years ago one of the main reasons was the forced socialization of being in a crowded office 50 hours a week. The small talk, ugh...and Monday mornings? OMG , just painful hahaha:LOL:
 
harllee said:
I am starting to understand introverted stay at home folks more. Anybody else enjoying staying at home?
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I have always been an introvert. For years, I thought something was "wrong" with me because I would much rather sit and read a book than go out and socialize.

A couple of years ago, I read a great book, "Quiet" by Susan Cain. It was a real eye opener to discover that it's OK not be the life of the party. :)
 
gwraigty said:
An excellent book to understand introverts is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I bought it in ebook form and it describes how I feel extremely well.
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Oops. Sorry, gwraigty. I posted before reading the thread and seeing your mention of the book. But, I'm certainly glad others enjoyed this book as much as I did!
 
Red Badger said:
Interacting with groups of people can be exhausting for me. Family and friends are welcome and cause no stress.
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This is the biggest challenge for me.

Events where I need to mingle, make small talk, etc. are both stress-inducing and exhausting. Business events were the worst for me, but even family events involving more than my wife and kids leave me spent at the end of the evening.
 
Large get togethers are exhausting to me, and I basically want to leave soon after arriving, I am far better one on one conversations, and find myself drowned out by more vocal participants who seem to dominate the subjects while in a group.

I too live on 10 rural acres, and have done so for 25 years. In that time, I have never visited the neighbors houses (and barely spoken by chance) other than the elderly farm couple across the road. I enjoy my quiet, alone time in the barnyard, or my shop.

I have found that even in extended family holiday events, I will find a safe corner, and pet the dog.
 
Some of the comments about self being an introvert seem negative. Wear it with a badge of honor! It isn't a weakness. You are just selective who you decide to share wisdom with.
 
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I'm definitely extroverted, I am energized by spending time with my friends, love having folks over for grilled meats on the weekend, organize outings for movies, etc. I also don't really have any problem staying in my bedroom and playing video games, or binge watching stuff on Netflix. I spent my childhood reading and wandering through the woods mostly by myself. So shelter in place has been fine for all of my solo recreational activities, and while I REALLY miss my friends, I make do with video chats and phone calls.

I absolutely miss the social aspect of work, and it has been demonstrated that one of my work super powers is my willingness to walk around the office, talk to people directly and track down who can help solve problems. Not nearly as up for that over Zoom.
 
drcha said:
Hey, buzz off--we don't want to be understood!

Just kidding. Yes, I'm right on the borderline. Love staying home and love going out. I'll be glad when I can go out again, but am finding plenty of pleasures right here.
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+1

I straddle the line also. Sometimes, I enjoy being with others, sometimes I just want to spend time with myself. But in general, I dislike big crowds and gatherings (I always hated big work conferences and schmoozefests where you had to do small talk with people that you often didn't know or didn't like - but I don't need to do that anymore since I retired). Whenever we did those Meyers Briggs personality profiles, I would oscillate between ENTJ and INTJ depending upon my mood at the time.

I suppose that I am this way because I used to have to travel a lot for work, so I had to be comfortable eating alone and seeing sights on my own. Probably more of a self-reliant personality than introvert vs extrovert. Sine retirement, I have no trouble going on vacations alone when the DW doesn't share the same interest in the destination that I do. Truth be told, since I traveled so much for work, she probably now enjoys her "Me time" when I am gone.
 
CoolRich59 said:
Oops. Sorry, gwraigty. I posted before reading the thread and seeing your mention of the book. But, I'm certainly glad others enjoyed this book as much as I did!
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No problem. :) When I worked in an office, I preferred to sit at a table in the lunchroom by myself and read quietly. A few people thought I was weird because of it. A good book is better than forced chatter with superficial people. Now put me at a table with a great storyteller and I'm all ears. :D
 
jcfradio said:
+1

I straddle the line also. Sometimes, I enjoy being with others, sometimes I just want to spend time with myself. But in general, I dislike big crowds and gatherings (I always hated big work conferences and schmoozefests where you had to do small talk with people that you often didn't know or didn't like - but I don't need to do that anymore since I retired). Whenever we did those Meyers Briggs personality profiles, I would oscillate between ENTJ and INTJ depending upon my mood at the time.

I suppose that I am this way because I used to have to travel a lot for work, so I had to be comfortable eating alone and seeing sights on my own. Probably more of a self-reliant personality than introvert vs extrovert. Sine retirement, I have no trouble going on vacations alone when the DW doesn't share the same interest in the destination that I do. Truth be told, since I traveled so much for work, she probably now enjoys her "Me time" when I am gone.
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This is me too. I usually test ENTJ but I loathe small talk and parties where I know no one or only a few people give me anxiety. Even some family events give me hives. I was actually delighted that we got "uninvited" to a wedding that got scaled down thanks to coronavirus. After a stressful week I sometimes find myself desperate for some alone time. I think my job required more extroversion than I have, and it's a relief to be there less as I ease into retirement.

On the other hand I'm up for more social events than DH, and will go without him when he doesn't want to go. I'm also prone to starting up conversations with complete strangers...
 
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I also am an introvert, but my fraternal twin was an extrovert, which helped quite a bit in social situations. I loved the two week hike around the Kerry Way last year with a small group of hiking friends, so this year's big trip was going to be to Glacier Park and Canada with a Sierra Club friend and her husband, but that trip is cancelled--I don't think Canada will reopen in time, even if Glacier does.
However, DW and I decided to go car camping/hiking to most of Nevada's State Parks to replace the Glacier trip. We just got back from Berlin-Ichthsaurus State Park, with a friend, and did several great hikes, including a short side trip to the Arc Dome Wilderness for a hike way up in elevation.
So for those of you who miss traveling and like car camping/outdoors, something like the above might work as a replacement. Of course, Nevada is relatively deserted outside of Vegas/Reno (with Tahoe an exception), so we have a huge list of possibilities; I recognize many of you aren't as fortunate at least on this front. When I get tired of socializing with our friend and DW, I just hike out ahead and then wait for them to catch up.
 
justlikebike said:
I remember when I first read the definition of introvert vs extrovert. It was such an eye opener for me. I thought I just didn't like people. The simple definition has been noted here. Introverts recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being around other people. That's it.
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That doesn't sound simple to me. "Recharge" could be interpreted different ways. I'm recharged by sleep. I feel tired late at night.


I wonder if "recharge by" just means the same thing as "like" (other than the former sounding more PC).


I feel better when I'm in situations I like. Is that "recharge"? I don't see the difference.


I've tested as ISTJ, by the way.
 
Here's a simpler explanation: extroverts suck the life out of introverts, like vampires. Works for me.
 
Hahaha. Yes, that's how we get our energy back.
 
harllee said:
Anybody else enjoying staying at home?
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That part of Covid has no effect on me. I like that I'm more psychologically prepared than most people. I'm not very social. I had a dream about really nice scissors last night.
 
Personally I am very tired of staying home and not seeing my friends and family except at a distance. But I am social distancing to protect my DH who is very high risk. I can't wait for the vaccine.
 
Boho said:
That part of Covid has no effect on me. I like that I'm more psychologically prepared than most people. I'm not very social. I had a dream about really nice scissors last night.
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Same frame of mind here. Except for the Government telling other people to stay 6 feet away from me, hardly anything's different from my regular life. And I've been pushing for a law like that for a long time.

One down side is the mask thing. I have to make sure I have them. On me and spares in the car. I always make sure I have my keys, my wallet, and shoes when I leave the house, so it's not that hard.

Upside: I have discovered the joys of Aldi and Walmart groceries delivered as a lamp unto my feet. I'll be using it post Covid in the Winter on days when it's just too cold to go shopping.
 
Nothing changed for me or us. Not an extrovert and living in very rural America makes that part simple. We use all PPE when having to get in the danger zone other then that, I see no one, any way.
 
jimbee said:
In my experience, extroverts tend to ignore introverts unless they want something.
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Best SWAG is that introverts and extroverts misunderstand each other.

Something not everyone understands about introverts for instance: They aren't all antisocial and they often enjoy friends as much as the more gregarious. It just takes longer to warm up to folks. I speak as an off-the-scale introvert. Most of my friends would deny that I'm an introvert. Once I'm comfortable in my element, I "appear" to be more extroverted. I'm sure we (introverts) also misunderstand extroverts. Personally, I miss getting together with my friends and even just going out but YMMV.
 
This thread reminded me of this meme

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I am a just off center introvert. I used to travel a lot for work. I have had no problem at all with lockdowns or distancing, but I am glad to have gone out to travel again (by car). DW, who is very introverted, gets major cabin fever and has to get out of the house occasionally. I hardly ever have that reaction.
 
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