I agree your Mother has created a monster who has figured out how to get attention. I think the only thing you and your sibs can do is to get a restraining order. What worries me is that he may be a physical threat. Personally I wouldn't want to be in his sights, ever. Mass shooters typically are males who feel disrespected/threatened.
Something along this line has kept me up many nights. We have seen him go into rages, just bat-sh!t crazy rages. During what was essentially an 'intervention' with him at one point, he ran out, drove away in his pick up truck to his nearby home, and returned driving like the blazes both ways. We actually video'd the 'intervention', thinking he would behave if he knew he was being taped. We have it on tape where me and my brother are talking about being ready to dial 911 if he gets out of the truck with a gun, and discussed running in opposite directions, maybe he'll only get one of us, and you can see my finger on the "9" button of the phone. You don;t want to experience that feeling.
Every time I read or hear about a domestic squabble that leads to a shooting, I tense up inside. The fear has been way too real for us. I just want him to go away.
He didn't have a gun that time, but being in a position where you literally fear for your life, and are thinking this
could be it, I may never see my wife and kids again, well, it has an affect on you. I hope you never, ever experience it.
Unless OO has demonstrated that he is litigious by having previously sued you, and your siblings, I don't really understand what you are so afraid of after mother passes. Beyond lawsuits, just ignore him and don't feed the fire. If he is litigious, then I don't think you've got anyway out of the box, but to move cross country or overseas...
Litigious isn't the concern. I don't think are any lawyers crazy enough to take any case he would present, and if one did, we'd just turn it over to an attorney on our side. Ho hum.
I don't think an RO can protect us against him getting stoned one night and deciding he needs revenge that night. He also could be a major nuisance (better than a physical threat though), and going through the legal system will be a lot of work, I would think. I just want it behind me/
I met with Mom and was able to talk about all these charges from the OO. I asked in such a way that it was clear to us (DW was there too) she didn't OK them, but she wouldn't really admit anything, because she won't say anything bad about him in front of me. But she understands I can't manage her accounts for her if someone is making charges and I don;t know what's legit or not, so she said she will ask him to turn over the cards. DW & my impressions was, she is mad at him (disappointed?), but won't say it in front of us.
Follow up, after the Cubs
-ERD50