Joint v Separate Accounts?

[martyp]

A lot of people are listing separate accounts and all that, but I have to assume that for couples who have separate accounts, they must both work. Am I wrong in this assumption? If the spouse is a stay at home mom/dad, how could this separate account thing possbily work? By one spouse giving the other allowances?

Yes. We both worked and we both get pensions so the income still comes in as his and hers.

 

[Animorph]

A lot of people are listing separate accounts and all that, but I have to assume that for couples who have separate accounts, they must both work. Am I wrong in this assumption? If the spouse is a stay at home mom/dad, how could this separate account thing possbily work? By one spouse giving the other allowances?

I'm retired, no income. DH is still working until the end of the year. Every two weeks I transfer $x from her direct deposit account (actually in her name only) into our common checking account (a joint account). And transfer $y from the common checking account to my checking account (also joint for convenience). All electronic transfers initiated from the common account. That keeps us even as far as income.

 

[SVHoper]

I had less assets going into marriage 20+ years ago, have earnt less throughout life (time off for kids and generally less marketable skillset) but I manage all the $ so assets are mostly joint, but sometimes in my name only for signing reasons (community property). So answering the above is not much use to you.

However, I have a close relative whose spouse mortgaged their house for business (hard working guy, but poor risk assessment) and they had to downsize. Strong and long marriage survived. Relative will not be allowing that this time as now has name on title. General advice is to work towards building trust, transparency, educate to get a plan and commitment to say - allocate 95% assets according to bogleheads.org (read wiki for books) principals (low cost, market funds or ETFs) but allow limit < 5% assets for play.

Sounds like you have to manage good-hearted, ego very gently Wishing you well.

 

[jollystomper]

A lot of people are listing separate accounts and all that, but I have to assume that for couples who have separate accounts, they must both work. Am I wrong in this assumption? If the spouse is a stay at home mom/dad, how could this separate account thing possbily work? By one spouse giving the other allowances?

DW had been a stay at home for man for proably more than half the years in our marriage, and even when she worked her income was much less than mine. The simple answer is that I never looked at my earnings as "my" money, it was always "our" money. Her years as a stay at home mom contributed to my earning power by allowing me to put more focus on those things that aided my ability to get raises and gain promotions. So my earnings are "our" money, from which we both draw our "no questions asked" spending budget.

When she has worked part time I have let her choose how much she wanted to treat as "ours" and keep the rest, but she has always insisted on treating her earnings as "our" money, no matter how small.

 

[kcowan]

We maintain separate checking accounts and investment accounts. But I have total access to it all and I try to maintain a proper sharing approach to expenses and investments. We used to have a joint investment account but for most purposes, it is now dormant.

If we should ever decide to split up, we will split it all 50-50. We have been retired for 11 years. Before that, we maintained more separation but have done away with most of it. DW is more of a risk taker. But she is quick to select stocks and also quick to unload them. I respect her selection judgement but resist her tendency to cut them loose at any minor reversal of fortune. I tend to trust the financials and trends more than she does.

She loves having her own checks on her account. It gives her a sense of autonomy. She handles spending and I handle savings.

 

[rodi]

My mom didn't work outside the home (believe me, she worked... just unpaid), until I was in middle school. My dad gave her a fixed amount to run the house. She was frugal, and got it done for less, and the extra went into her savings account. I guess you could call it an allowance - but she looked at it as a budget... and bonus for staying within budget.

So yes - dad's paycheck came into *his* account, and he transferred money to the joint, and then she transferred money from there to *her* account. They continued using the joint account for household budgeted items when she went back to work.... with their separate accounts being where their wages were deposited.