Dear Unclemick:
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
I just lost my father 2 months ago; he was in a nursing home for almost 4 years and suffered a lot. I would spend several hours per day with him, 4 to 5 days per week, and miss him terribly. Even though he was 87 and in very bad health, with a poor prognosis in recent months, it was still a big shock and emotionally draining. If you are very close to the person, as I was, you are never really "prepared" for the end. I think of him and miss him everyday.
With your SO's sudden and unexpected loss, it must be even more difficult to take. Take care of yourself, and gather strength and support from your family and close ones.
Sincerely,
Toejam