We gifted our DD and DSIL $100000 to use as a down payment on their home. We gifted them $12.5k each, from each of us in December (total $50k) and then the same thing again in January Of 2018 and 2019, respectively. We had been planning to do this, once they were ready to settle down in one place. We did it this way to stay well within the gifting limits that would cause extra taxes or create headaches once we were gone.
Since they were married, they had lived in Hawaii, then Hong Kong, the Utah, then San Francisco, then SoCal, over the course of the seven years they had been married. The different locations was because they were married while still in the university, then went for one internship, then a masters degree, then another internship, then a relative on DSIL’s side had begged him for years to work with him, that turned out to be a total disaster.
After he had essentially resigned from that, they came to visit us in a new home that we had just bought (so that we could leave California and it’s various issues). Our home is bigger and has a basement. They liked our area quite a bit, so he started looking for a job and snagged a good one in his area of expertise, and they lived with us (in the basement) while they worked on rebuilding their savings from the disastrous experience of working with the relative (during which a “learning wage” was promised, but never delivered....they didn’t have to pay for food or rent because they lived with the relative, but, they did have to buy their own health and car insurance, plus baby diapers and medical care for a newborn, etc). So they had to rebuild their savings after burning thru it in less than a year, because he received no pay whatsoever.
In any case, they did rebuild their savings while they lived with us, and we were beginning to see the signs of them being responsible enough to own and care for a home. They stayed with us for 8 months. So, we proceeded with what had always been our desire and plan, to gift them a significant amount toward their down payment.
We did have a stipulation that every cent we gifted had to go to the down payment. They needed another car as well, but we required that they figure that out themselves. The money was deposited into an account that I have access to (which was the account we used to get money to her when she was in college), and we had his name added to the account. That way, we could see that our contribution actually all went to buy the home.
A year later, our relationship is still fine. They have been in the home for 14 months now and haven’t missed or been late on any payments. His job is stable, and even though he was hired later than some on the team he worked with, when the coronavirus layoffs came, he wasn’t cut, while the early hires were (it is a startup, and he is very good at what he does). In the meantime DD has brought us our second grandchild and is still a SAHM, but does teach English online to one of her former students from SFO (she is a certified TESOL teacher), and she makes a bit on the side as a photographer. We see the grandbabies a couple times a week...not too much, not too little...just the right amount.