Life Reflection: Would you do anything differently?

[EvrClrx311]

I've come to realize, and appreciate, how many reflective minds there are on this forum, and that creates the opportunity for some rather insightful wisdom on living and life in general. I'd love to hear people's thoughts on what, if anything, they might change about their life and progress toward FIRE. Open ended question... anything directly or indirectly related to finances. Would you have saved more or less? Sooner or later? (silly question I know) Where would your priorities in life have been distributed (relationships, hobbies, work, etc...), if you could magically go back and realign them to suite your current reflection and wisdom.

I find this valuable because I often find myself looking back at my life and seeing how I got to where I am - analyzing my strategy and progress toward my goals (which vary and change over time). This internal drive to live a productive, happy and meaningful life seems to be at the center of happiness and content living. I can appreciate there are parts of me that are always me, but that my personality, vision and even drive in life evolves as I experience more of it. It's a fascinating concept to ponder. This question is mostly about appreciating the ride, and making the most of it.

I read an article a few years ago about the top things people say they would have changed about how they lived their life while on their death bed. It really impacted my vision into my own... since then I'm looking more forward then back. I'm 35 and still 15-20 decades away from my FIRE plans. Always calibrating, it's a fun exercise along the way.

Appreciate any dialog that follows...

 

[ls99]

Absolutely.

I would choose filthy rich, well educated parents.

 

[Bamaman]

I never cared about moving to different locations climbing the corporate ladder. I lived in low COL places and lived a rather frugal life.

And not living in a high COL place allowed us to live in very large homes with monthly payments cheaper than apartment rentals. And we also had the resources to travel the world.

 

[GravitySucks]

Sometimes think I would have been better off joining the Navy after getting the AAS in Electrical Tech. Reagan's build up did well for many classmates. But then I'd never have married DW, so probably better off on the path I took.

Should have let that radioactive spider bite me back in high school instead of brushing it onto my pal Peter.

 

[CoolChange]

Spent less time on relationships that had no future.

Taken more risks in career, investing and life in general.

 

[frayne]

Passed on an opportunity to attend West Point. Always wondered how differently my life may have turned out had I taken that path. No regrets on the path I took and am more fortunate than I deserve when it comes to family, health and finances.

 

[Big_Hitter]

Passed on an opportunity to attend West Point. Always wondered how differently my life may have turned out had I taken that path. No regrets on the path I took and am more fortunate than I deserve when it comes to family, health and finances.

ditto except I passed on the air force academy

 

[Meadbh]

I generally avoid second guessing my decisions, because I tend to do a lot of analysis before making them. I would have liked to be an architect, for example, but my parents would not have supported me in leaving home at an early age to achieve it. If I had struck out on my own at that time, I might have had many exciting experiences, and certainly would have traversed a very different path, but I doubt that the end result would have been better. And so on, for many other decisions. Looking back, I think I made reasonable decisions based on the information available at the time.

So, “Non, je regrette rien”.

 

[aja8888]

Besides not being able to pick a set of parents that were better off than the ones living in poverty that I had, I would have done this (if I was smart enough at the time):

1. Instead of working for a private company, I would have chosen working for the government or the local Fire Department. Either of those career paths would have allowed me a generous retirement package and I would have had a lot more time along the way to work on my golf game. I currently have no pension (only SS and savings) and my golf game is gone.

2. I would have chosen a "partner" who had a high PTE (potential to earn). That would have helped in generating a lot more disposable income while I worked my government job, hung out at the Fire Department, or at the golf course.

3. I would have moved to Texas much sooner, probably before 1. & 2. above.

4. I would have been "on the fence" with respect to having children. That decision should really be thought out well in advance of choosing and partnering with the person who has the high PTE. It's not that I don't like children (Ex-DW and I chose to have two) but progressing toward FIRE can be made easier without bearing and raising offspring.

5. It's also very important to live a healthy lifestyle as that alone can save you big bucks in healthcare costs early on and in later years.

 

[ivinsfan]

Married at 19 and moved a 1000 miles so my DH could follow his dream of joining the family farm. Became a farm wife and worked full time on the farm until I could ER at 57. It is a great life for a former military brat. But, I never had a passion or drive for my work. My DH at almost 69 still has a spring in his step and is eager to put in a new crop every year. I would have liked the chance to carve out my own path and maybe I would have found something that was a better fit for me personally.

 

[Pilot2013]

Wow, I could write a book....

But then, who would I be now?

And I think, being at this point with completely different outcome, I would still write yet another book tho this question.

So I guess, no... wouldn't change anything.

 

[travelover]

Passed on an opportunity to attend West Point. ...........

ditto except I passed on the air force academy

I passed on an opportunity to slog the rice paddies of Viet Nam as a draftee.

 

[Amethyst]

The decay and death of my first marriage tore me apart and I thought I would never recover. But at a great distance of age and remarriage, I am glad that I knew him, and equally glad that I got away from him.

 

[irishgal]

The decay and death of my first marriage tore me apart and I thought I would never recover. But at a great distance of age and remarriage, I am glad that I knew him, and equally glad that I got away from him.

Sort of echo this-being married 14 years to a serial cheater whose last words to me were "I don't want to watch you grow old and ugly" and off he went to be with his younger girlfriend. It was horribly hurtful, and looking back all the red flags were there but I ignored them.

I would also have worked earlier to manage my high level of anxiety over things, while I think it served me well financially I think I missed being in the moment a lot because I was too busy worrying about "what if"..

 

[Nemo2]

I would revisit the opportunity of actually saying at the time all the lines, covering a variety of situations, where I thought to myself later "I should have said...."

 

[Amethyst]

Gah, so sorry you had to go through that.

Sort of echo this-being married 14 years to a serial cheater whose last words to me were "I don't want to watch you grow old and ugly" and off he went to be with his younger girlfriend. .

 

[bingybear]

absolutely... I would do many things different.

 

[Red Badger]

God Loves Me

1. I was denied several opportunities that might not have been opportunities.

2. God provided me with my awesome DW; and I have to be a "work in process" to keep her.

3. Several decisions that I considered to be of minor/low consequence at the time turned out to be significant enablers to retiring at 60 with my soul mate at my side.

4. While our modest retirement portfolio might appear as a rounding error to some folks here, SAHM is quite content with me being retired (and I have to pinch myself daily to ensure I'm not dreaming).

5. God protected me from me. There is that old adage that God protects drunks and fools; I can be a bit of the former on occasion and have always considered myself to have at least one foot in the latter.

So, nope, no changes (except perhaps maturing before 30 something).

 

[Teacher Terry]

I don't think that looking back is helpful at all so I don't do it. WE would all live perfect lives with 20-20 hindsight)

 

[Jerry1]

I was never rich, but I made good money. I wish I had spent less and saved more so that I could have retired earlier. Sure, it was fun to drive the nice care and wear the nice suits but I cold have saved a lot in those two areas and in looking back, I can't say I really got any benefits from that money.

Right up there with picking better/richer parents, I wish I would have found my passion. I know it's not too late, but it has eluded me to this point at 56 years old. My work was pretty much only satisfying as an accumulator of wealth. It did well at that, but did not do much for my soul. Thankfully, I at least worked with very nice people.

Maybe went I retire (I'm working part time and in OMY mode), I will find something to satisfy the soul. If that is the way I find it then looking back on this question, even more, I wish I'd have saved more, sooner, so that I could have found my passion that much sooner.

All in all though, I am thankful for the way things turned out. A lot of people have it much worse and I recognize that. When it comes to making different choices or reliving one's life, you never know whether or not those choices would have resulted in a better life than the one you ended up with.

To the OP, I say, at 35, save as much as you can until or unless you are truly following your dream. If you have a dream and a passion, go for it. The money and comfort of being secure and conservative isn't as valuable as fulfilling your destiny and often I've found that the money follows passion.

 

[savory]

This may sound a little patronizing, I wish I understood how to achieve my retirement goals earlier. I am frugal and had a good paying job so I lucked into saving But my understanding of ER came in my late 30s. Earlier than many but in retrospect later than I would have preferred.

I have advised my children and acquaintances to select a retirement date and begin to live their life to achieve it.

 

[Amethyst]

I wish we had spent more on frivolous things, like vacations, when we were younger. No, seriously. They aren't as much fun when you are older.

 

[MRG]

I wish I listened better when I was smarter.

 

[flintnational]

" I'd love to hear people's thoughts on what, if anything, they might change about their life and progress toward FIRE."

I would not change anything about my life. While my life and decisions have not always been perfect, I did not expect my life to be perfect. I am comfortable with the outcome. Adversity and poor decisions are part of life and learning.

Regarding FIRE decisions, I would not have bought new cars in my 20's and 30's. Also, I would avoid confusing lifestyle choices with investments. We bought a water front lot and lost a great deal of money. The lifestyle decision allowed me to justify what clearly would have been a poor stand alone investment decision.

FN

 

[Sunset]

Overall I'm happy with my situation. Sure nothing is perfect but the 2 bright spots are: DW and we are FIRE'd.

If I could go back I would make sure to meet and marry my DW years earlier than I did, and probably retire 2 year earlier than we did.