Mechanical Engineer - work or be a stay at home mom?

[ronocnikral]

Maybe this was mentioned in one of the many threads started by the OP, but isn't this sort of counting the chickens before the eggs have hatched? The OP doesn't even know if she and he DH will be able to have 4 kiddos. Isn't it better to take this as the stork comes and see how things play out?

If it matters, I don't see obtaining a master's and then staying at home to be with kids a waste. In fact, my DW has no degree and I wish she did so we had a little more to hang our hat on other than disability insurance/backup plan in case I get laid off. To me, nothing is more honorable than raising children. I find there to be an advantage of having a parent stay at home, but that is just my feeling and opinion. There are many wonderful children who have 2 working parents, and just as many with one parent working and one staying at home.

Cross the bridge as you come upon it.

 

[deserat]

I have two engineering degrees and am a female - I had no children of my own and have two stepsons now. I think that if you live in the USA, you will have the opportunity to combine a career and children. I have a close girlfriend and colleague who is also an engineer and she says you can everything you want, just not all at once.

I would also say that your degree has taught you a way to think and that is very valuable in whatever endeavor you wish to pursue. You will be able to effectively ascertain if your children are getting an effective science and math education. You may decide to home school.....I've spoken to many educated mothers and this has been a very fulfilling thing for them and their children have thrived.

I've noticed that for most women, having children changes their outlook on life dramatically. So my advice is go in the direction you believe is important to you and then readjust and change as life changes. I've found that I've had overall goals and yet each five years has been another adventure. However, those aspects of my character, values and life goals which form who I am have remained constant. You are young, and there is a lot of time ahead of you.

The one thing you've already done is provide yourself with a degree and skill which can support your family if that is needed....many people are not in that position. You will be able to make decisions from a possibly more generous economic perspective, which can take the pressure off other aspects of life.

Lastly, many of the most successful women I've known have come back into the workforce after raising children. They tend to be very effective as they've been dealing with children for a long time - motivating behavior, working on molding them into productive people...etc. These women have outstanding communication skills and the proper sense of priorities and proportion regarding the workplace.