More will/trust questions

[Ronstar]

DW and I had living wills, healthcare directives and POA's drawn up about 30 years ago. I'd like to update them.

We have no children. Executor is currently my BIL. I'd like to switch the executor to my niece (40 yo responsible adult) who I get along with better than my BIL. It makes no sense for us to have an executor / POA who is about our age and who is not in as good as shape as we are.

Question 1. Should I ask my niece if she is willing to take this on before I change the documents? Seems like I should.

Question 2. If she agrees, how much information should I share with her? She and my nephew are currently our beneficiaries and I have no plans to change beneficiaries. Do I tell her that her and her brother are beneficiaries?

Question 3. Should I ask her if she would be willing to do this in a phone call? Or should I take her and her husband to dinner and ask her there? In this case, her 3 kids ages 11, 7 and 2 would be there. Not sure if this discussion would freak the kids out.

 

[OldShooter]

... Question 1. Should I ask my niece if she is willing to take this on before I change the documents? Seems like I should.

Yup. She should also be paid, with instructions in the will. IIRC my mother's will specified that I would be paid a small percentage of the estate. She insisted on it even though I didn't need the money.

... Question 2. If she agrees, how much information should I share with her? She and my nephew are currently our beneficiaries and I have no plans to change beneficiaries. Do I tell her that her and her brother are beneficiaries?

I would share very little/no financial information. If there could be unexpected work like dealing with rental properties she should know that. Bur ref the finances, your intentions could change.

... Question 3. Should I ask her if she would be willing to do this in a phone call? Or should I take her and her husband to dinner and ask her there? In this case, her 3 kids ages 11, 7 and 2 would be there. Not sure if this discussion would freak the kids out.

Kids? Gawd, no. I would invite her to lunch, alone, and on the phone tell her you'd like to talk to her about being the executor. If she takes the job, you should also introduce her to an attorney who can be a backstop and a coach. A second lunch maybe.

 

[rk911]

Yup
Everything
No kids, otherwise do it in person

 

[Act2]

Please do it in person with no one else present, not even her spouse. And if she wants time to talk to her spouse or think about it, give that time to her. And when you designate executors, trustees, powers of attorney, whatever, try to have at least one contingent person named as well in case the first named could not or would not serve. So you could list your BIL first, niece to serve if he could/would not. Or the other way around. I list two contingents and encourage my family to do the same. So I am first designated for some family members and third contingent for others. I have already served twice for different family members in various capacities when the first-named trustee/executor/POA could not. A first named executor predeceased the person in one situation and in the other situation the first named person was too ill and died shortly after the person who asked her to serve.

 

[Car-Guy]

1 - Yes (absolutely)

2 _ As much as is relevant and that you feel comfortable in sharing

3 - In person if/when possible (Probably best without the kids being there)

 

[badatmath]

I would not tell them they will inherit. I was told that with all good intentions I'm sure but after a remarriage yeah not so much.

 

[Ronstar]

Thanks everyone! Lots of great advice with a consensus that I ask my niece in person without her kids and husband there. I’ll go that route. You all have been very helpful in getting this started.

 

[DrRoy]

1 - Yes (absolutely)

2 _ As much as is relevant and that you feel comfortable in sharing

3 - In person if/when possible (Probably best without the kids being there)

I would say that they will inherit some but not the amount.

 

[donheff]

I would say that they will inherit some but not the amount.

Ditto. I would caution my heir(s) not to count on it since s*** happens. Otherwise, why are you imposing a burden like executor on them?

 

[Lewis Clark]

... She should also be paid, with instructions in the will. ...

I recommend checking the laws in your state on this issue.

My wife served as an executor in Florida several years ago. The attorney told her that she could decide for herself how much she should be paid as executor, within reason, based on how much work she felt she had to do. And it was a lot of work for the small, simple estate.

The catch was that my wife was also an heir. Any money she received in her role as executor was considered taxable income. Any money she received as an heir was tax-free.

Depending on the amount the executor/heir would inherit, and the amounts inherited by other heirs (if any), it may work out better for an executor/heir to be paid little or nothing for the executor role to minimize the taxable income, and accept most or all of the funds as a tax-free inheritance.

 

[silvor]

How are the niece and nephew related? Husband wife? Brother sister? If it’s anything besides husband and wife, I would make sure she gets at least some pay.

Also, I’m not sure not letting her know about her being a beneficiary is right. I, as executor, I am dealing with the situation now for one beneficiary had no idea the money that was coming to him. I still don’t think he understands the responsibility and how to handle the money. As he had no advance warning.