Texas is infested with
scorpions
Yup, see'em all the time, never been bit. Fast forward to 2:09 They Call Me Trinity - YouTube
rattlesnakes
saw one once
fire ants
Yes- ouch! A constant problem. Painful bite for such a small critter
crazy raspberry ants
nope
cockroaches on steroids
uncommon around these parts. I think the scorpions hold 'em at bay
killer bees
never come across one
mosquitoes
not bad around here
ticks
never seen one
chiggers
Yes! They're called "no-see-ums", 'cause they are too small to see. Bites itch for a few days
tarantulas
Saw one once on the road
brown recluse spiders
never come across one here
love bugs
never seen 'em
swarming crickets
sometimes a few crickets around- no big deal
copperheads
never seen one
cottonmouths
never seen one
rabid skunks
[mod edit]
wild hogs
see 'em on the road occasionally. Nearly hit one last week. Very tasty.
alligators
not around here
oppressive heat & humidity
You prefer bitter cold? That's what AC is for
bleak desolate scenery
Hill country is gorgeous
dirty beaches
Beaches are not as nice as some, but not bad
polluted air
Air is great around here- little pollution
dust storms
never seen one
drought
Much of the US is in drought
wildfires
pretty bad one a few years back, otherwise no problem
water shortages
see "drought"
recurring floods
Occasionally streams are high
tornadoes
never seen one
hurricanes
Never seen one.
rednecks
[mod edit]
huge piles of flaming mulch
not unique to Texas
spontaneously combusting playgrounds
there are hotter areas in the country
roads hot as flowing lava
Ever been to Arizona?
the stench of natural and unnatural gasses
My wife is forgiving of my "issues".
pirate attacks
You're thinking of Disneyland, aren't you? Bless your heart.
amoebic meningitis lurking in area lakes
rare, though it exists in most of the warmer states.
recurring ebola virus outbreaks
Recent case from Africa. Could get worse (not just Texas), so don't get so high on your horse
flesh eating bacteria
Cases exist from Maryland through Florida.
the highest homeowner insurance rates in the US
yeah, all of Texas pays for the coast hurricane risk. Or that's the excuse they use
unbelievably high property taxes
No income tax. Overall tax rate is good-Texas ranks 42nd.
mind-numbing traffic jams
Yes, this is a problem in the big cities.
mandatory death sentences for DUI convictions
My wife and daughter were nearly killed by a recurrent drunk driver, in another state, so I support tougher sentencing.
polygamous religious sects
You don't have to join, unless you're into that sort of thing. The big one was, ahem, "taken care of"
and, lest we forget, doesn't look kindly towards Yankees
[mod edit].