This was more my thinking. I worked with some great people but there were enough that I found toxic that I was happy to get out. Now I can pick my friends and am all the happier for it.
Social aspects
- Thread starter Eileen
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This was more my thinking. I worked with some great people but there were enough that I found toxic that I was happy to get out. Now I can pick my friends and am all the happier for it.
jollystomper
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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- Apr 16, 2012
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It is interesting how things have involved. When I started my career the Megacorp location I worked at hired about 30 folks out of college over a 4 year span, and we did a lot of socializing after work (various corporate sports leagues, skiing trips, local community work, etc.). Most us lived within 20 minutes of each other, and since most were knew to the area, making friends through work (directly with co-workers or friends of the co-workers) seemed normal.
As folks got older, marriages, family, and moves started to break things up. With kids we tended to spend more time in community activities for them, so over the years, along with a few moves, our social circle migrated from work to more community friends.
Now, in our "older" age, we have been getting back in touch with folks from our childhood and college, rekindling some of those friendships. These are more "scattered" as they are all over the place, but it is nice to go to an area for business/vacation and spending some of the time socializing with them. Or, if they come visit our area they will spend some time with us. More and more of the folks I knew at work have left and gotten out of touch, or sadly, died. In addition, now that I'm working from home more, work socializing rarely happens. I think, when I do go into the office, I've gone out to lunch with folks maybe 4 times this year. Forget about anything after work.
So I'm not too concerned about losing work social contact, but have worked to replace it with my current interests and hobbies. And as long as DW and I stay best friends, that will also help.
As folks got older, marriages, family, and moves started to break things up. With kids we tended to spend more time in community activities for them, so over the years, along with a few moves, our social circle migrated from work to more community friends.
Now, in our "older" age, we have been getting back in touch with folks from our childhood and college, rekindling some of those friendships. These are more "scattered" as they are all over the place, but it is nice to go to an area for business/vacation and spending some of the time socializing with them. Or, if they come visit our area they will spend some time with us. More and more of the folks I knew at work have left and gotten out of touch, or sadly, died. In addition, now that I'm working from home more, work socializing rarely happens. I think, when I do go into the office, I've gone out to lunch with folks maybe 4 times this year. Forget about anything after work.
So I'm not too concerned about losing work social contact, but have worked to replace it with my current interests and hobbies. And as long as DW and I stay best friends, that will also help.
spectrallight
Dryer sheet wannabe
When I was 30, and started to get minimally career-serious, I resolved never to date, or even "crush-on", a colleague. Not that I was the "office fox", always getting hit on. I just figured, those energies come up. Some women play with them, and do okay. I just had a huge dread of it blowing up in my face, and being labelled the "office floozy". I think my conservatism was wise, given that (1) I am not, as a rule, conservative; and (2) my job required travel with both opposite-sex and same-sex colleagues.
What does this have to do with the thread? Well, although I am an introvert, having a few select platonic friendships has been hugely meaningful in my life. In hindsight it is kind of sad that I never reached a great level of friendship with a co-worker over the course of my career. Hence, there is not too much too miss, now that I am retired.
I don't do "casual" friendship too well. Once, I shared information about what I was going through emotionally in my private life with a co-worker who seemed cool, and supportive. Then, I had suspicions that it got back to management.
So much for that!
Workplaces are all different. But, as WTR pointed out, it's never a "party". More like, an episode of "survivor" . . . .Sometimes, you have to put up a bit of a firewall, for both platonic and non-platonic connections.
Ironically, at my current age (58) and looking forward, I think I will relish "casual" friendship more, particularly with women, who are almost always fun. Maybe I should join a quilting bee!
What does this have to do with the thread? Well, although I am an introvert, having a few select platonic friendships has been hugely meaningful in my life. In hindsight it is kind of sad that I never reached a great level of friendship with a co-worker over the course of my career. Hence, there is not too much too miss, now that I am retired.
I don't do "casual" friendship too well. Once, I shared information about what I was going through emotionally in my private life with a co-worker who seemed cool, and supportive. Then, I had suspicions that it got back to management.
So much for that!
Workplaces are all different. But, as WTR pointed out, it's never a "party". More like, an episode of "survivor" . . . .Sometimes, you have to put up a bit of a firewall, for both platonic and non-platonic connections.
Ironically, at my current age (58) and looking forward, I think I will relish "casual" friendship more, particularly with women, who are almost always fun. Maybe I should join a quilting bee!
