Squeaking by on $300,000. It must be tough.

[Culture]

According to the US census, the median income for a household in the village was $100,681, and the median income for a family was $118,721.
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You would think 300k would be easy even without leaving town.

 

[freebird5825]

from the picture link...Steins's lifestyle was built on the premise of two incomes, not the single paycheck of a divorced mother of three in a recession.

I personally understand what happens when 2 incomes become 1, and I know some of you out there do too.
Life is all about adaption to black swan events. Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away.

No preaching here...but times have changed for this lady. She knows it, but she is not facing it square on. I'm seeing a huge sidestep.
This fact..."vice president at MasterCard's corporate office"...tells me she's no dummy.
I think I figured out why she did the article. Culture's remark about "worrying about what others think" gave me a clue.
"Breaking ranks" is an almost guaranteed path to alienation from the social circle. In a nationally read newspaper, no less. Hmmmmm...the square peg is not fitting into the round hole.
It may be a last ditch attempt to get some help to quiet things down, before she sells and leaves the neighborhood.
Any other guesses?

 

[NW-Bound]

I don't understand why she had to make noise. Why not just leave quietly? But then, I am a private person, and even posting anonymously here was a huge step for me.

 

[growing_older]

It seems to me that a large part of her motivation is to keep the affluent lifestlye for her kids. Whether that is practical or reasonable seems much less important to her. Perhaps this reflects her own experiences growing up as a child of affluent parents who lived in a big house herself. If so, she is setting her kids up for the same disconnect between means and expectations that she herself is experiencing.

 

[bdk]

This fact..."vice president at MasterCard's corporate office"...tells me she's no dummy.

Is Master Card like a bank, where everybody is either a VP or assistant VP? (am asking, not questioning).

 

[growing_older]

Interesting idea. I don't know for sure about MasterCard, but I did a quick look at LinkedIn and found 10 VP titles among the 21 people I found who worked at MasterCard. Seems like there are VPs for lots of specific business areas and regions.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

I, too, wonder about Ms. Steins motivations in going public. She is an intelligent woman, does she not think that people will have a hard time having a pity party for her while living as she does? It makes her look foolish and I feel sorry for her children as there will certainly be "talk" in school with such a splashy format for her/their predicament. And I agree with an earlier poster that it is not what you earn, but what you do with what you have.

 

[bssc]

The statement that got me was

As a vice president at MasterCard's corporate office in Purchase, N.Y., she earns a base pay of $150,000 plus a bonus. This year she'll take home 10 percent less because of a smaller bonus. She receives $75,000 a year in child support from her ex-husband. She figures she will pull an additional $50,000 from a personal investment account to "pick up the slack."

.
So, she is earning 250K and having to make up the 50K differerence. That was the part that I thought was interesting. She not squeaking by, she is living above her means.

 

[NW-Bound]

It used to be that the highest manager at a branch office of a bank, any of those at street corners, had the title of VP. I don't know if that is true anymore. Her salary of $150K would be OK for most locations in the US, but not enough for that lifestyle where she is.

 

[Maurice]

I feel sorry for her on one level. Rather than give up her entire former life with the divorce, she's trying to retain as much as possible. I certainly understand that.

But the simple fact is she can't afford it. And the sooner she comes to terms with that the better off she'll be.


I saw similar behavior from my SIL when she divorced - in her case it wasn't about keeping an expensive home, it was trying to remain a stay-at-home mom even though it was obviously no longer workable. It was as if she viewed that aspect of her life as non-negotiable, and simply refused to give it up along with her husband.

 

[quietman]

For people who are the subject of this kind of public exposure, isn't there some professional risk as well. For Mr Andrews the NYT financial reporter, not only did he expose his own poor financial judgment, but he also got caught selectively putting spin on an incomplete story, tarnishing his journalistic reputation. For Ms Steins as a VP at MasterCard should she be concerned that such a public display of poor financial decision making could reflect on her professional judgment as well. I don't know the nature of her job, but if she were to make a professional presentation or recommendation about services MasterCard offers I would think her audience would be more likely to dismiss her as the "lady who cannot manage her own finances" after this publicity.

 

[freebird5825]

Call me cynical, but I'm hearing a canary singing in a neighborhood that might have things they don't want made public. Remember her neighborhood is full of Wall St and financial types, among others.
Either that or it is a parting shot at her ex or the whole society (divorce is very gauche) or just plain desperation. Her mental load must be overwhelming.
I agree this will affect her professional career in ways she may not have counted on.

 

[Texas Proud]

For people who are the subject of this kind of public exposure, isn't there some professional risk as well. For Mr Andrews the NYT financial reporter, not only did he expose his own poor financial judgment, but he also got caught selectively putting spin on an incomplete story, tarnishing his journalistic reputation. For Ms Steins as a VP at MasterCard should she be concerned that such a public display of poor financial decision making could reflect on her professional judgment as well. I don't know the nature of her job, but if she were to make a professional presentation or recommendation about services MasterCard offers I would think her audience would be more likely to dismiss her as the "lady who cannot manage her own finances" after this publicity.

This is kinda what I was thinking.... she is not as bad as Andrew as she has not lied to get a loan, but she is in that she is living above her means which calls into question her decision making ability IMO...

 

[Texas Proud]

I also think that maybe SHE thinks that she will meet someone who will be that second income.... and all will be good in the world... if she moves and changes her lifestyle, how can she meet the 'right' guy

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

I feel sorry for her on one level. Rather than give up her entire former life with the divorce, she's trying to retain as much as possible. I certainly understand that.

But the simple fact is she can't afford it. And the sooner she comes to terms with that the better off she'll be.


I saw similar behavior from my SIL when she divorced - in her case it wasn't about keeping an expensive home, it was trying to remain a stay-at-home mom even though it was obviously no longer workable. It was as if she viewed that aspect of her life as non-negotiable, and simply refused to give it up along with her husband.

You can't force someone to wake up and see the truth. Yes, I know that "truth" is relative, but if most people see something in a similar way, there may be some merit to their perspective. Over the years, I've given advice to several members of my family, most of which was pretty much ignored. I can only imagine how much better their lives would be if they had actually listened to me. Instead, they're facing the same problems today, or worse ones after compounding their original problems with more bad decisions.

In this woman's case, I'd recommend getting rid of the nanny, the gardener and the pool care service. Her eldest child is old enough to perform chores around the house, which may include making lunches for everyone, babysitting his younger siblings, mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool, etc.... At the very least, the mother could hire kids from less than affluent families at a fraction of the cost of a professional. By my calculations, she could save at least $75,000 by cutting back on a few strategic items. She wouldn't have to move, but she might need to put up with a few people looking down on her. Oh the horror.

 

[FIRE'd@51]

Well, this may not popular here, but I actually have some sympathy for her. The reason she is where she is today is because of her divorce. BTW, her marriage was probably the reason she lives where she does in the first place. The article didn't say much about her ex-husband. Maybe he was the big-earner and could afford their lifestyle with his income alone. Who can blame her for not wanting to sell her house in this market?

Having said that, I don't know why she would want to air her financial situation in the Washington Post. One can only speculate about that. But I give her credit for not publicly discussing the details of her divorce, or her former husband's financial situation. Divorce is the number one cause of most financial hardships. There are plenty of dual income couples (maybe even a few on this board) who couldn't live where they live now if they were to divorce. Heck, there are quite a few "ER's" here whose spouses still work. Maybe they wouldn't be ER'd if they didn't have a working spouse.

 

[haha]

No sympathy here either. She could make changes in her life, but CHOOSES not to do so because of "appearances". Screw appearances. She's facing possible financial ruin and she's worried about what people might think?!?

Do you remember reading about men who engaged in lethal duels over some slight? We are in an unusual age when many people don't care if they look like swine or seem like homeless people or have only the vaguest clue if any what many common English words mean.

People on this board sometimes brag that they spend $22.95 or some such on a year's clothing. I don't want to take a position either way, but all of mammalian social life argues that appearances do matter. Social position is a powerful determinant of mental and physical health, though clearly not for everyone.

Ha

 

[WhoDaresWins]

Like a few other posters here, I DO feel sympathy for this lady, and also for the family in Elkhart, and even the NYT's reporter. Lord knows, I have made my share of foolish choices and emotional decisions, but I would be loathe to publish them in the newspapers. I do think this article might harm Ms. Steins professionally and also embarrass her children.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Ha, I think the powerful urge to belong still affects us on this board, because otherwise we would not want to seek out our good friends here on the board.
Even if we don't bond over fashion or other luxury goods, we do have strong feelings about fitting in and belonging to a social order.
And hey, I prefer to look disheveled rather than outright homeless, anyway. Sheesh!

 

[freebird5825]

Do you remember reading about men who engaged in lethal duels over some slight? We are in an unusual age when many people don't care if they look like swine or seem like homeless people or have only the vaguest clue if any what many common English words mean.

People on this board sometimes brag that they spend $22.95 or some such on a years clothing. I don't want to take a position either way, but all of mammalian social life argues that appearances do matter. Social position is a powerful derterminant of mental and physical health, though clearly not for everyone.

Ha

I can see you've been to WalMart lately.

Social position never meant much to me because I never had it. I never really sought it. The best I can claim as far as social status went is the degree, the j*b, the inventor status, and the independent female persona.
Now that I'm FIREd, I left that all behind. I continue to dress well, keep up my appearance , stay active socially, and do some exploration of areas I never had the chance to before.

I agree that respect from one's social community is very important for mental health, as long as it does not become the sole driver in one's life.

Maybe I'm the oddball, but my direct observation of people who allow their social status to govern their lives are definitely not happy.
Their body language gives that away - always checking to see who is saying what, who is wearing what, who is talking to who. Their faces are intent, unsmiling and their eye movements darting. Do some people watching some time in a higher social environment. It is amazing.

 

[Nords]

Ha, I think the powerful urge to belong still affects us on this board..., because otherwise we would not want to seek out our good friends here on the board.
Even if we don't bond over fashion or other luxury goods, we do have strong feelings about fitting in and belonging to a social order.
And hey, I prefer to look disheveled rather than outright homeless, anyway. Sheesh!

So... you'd want to belong in the same category as Bob Dylan?

 

[Sarah in SC]

So... you'd want to belong in the same category as Bob Dylan?

Well, at least when I sing, you can understand the words!

 

[LOL!]

Ha, I think the powerful urge to belong still affects us on this board, because otherwise we would not want to seek out our good friends here on the board.

This is the Internet, so I thought we were all dogs who came here to sniff each others butts.

 

[atlas888]

Well, if she's planning to use eHarmony, or some other way to marry herself out of this mess, she will need to find a mate with either: $300,000+ income and no house or lifestyle of his own to support so he can support hers, or someone so asset rich that he can buy her out of this mess. Those kinds of guys are not likely to be jumping into relationships with middle aged single moms (in debt, with a proven affinity for spending more money than they have) when they can be choosing from the usual golddiggers, aspiring actresses and future trophy wives.

For guys in those circumstances, it is better to rent than own : Paul McCartney

 

[Spanky]

For guys in those circumstances, it is better to rent than own : Paul McCartney

How much rent is he paying? It must be huge?