Those currently working and planning ER aren't going to like this

[werdone]

are there, doing that

Grass is always greener on the other side.

Losing interest of doing nothing but sitting on a sofa with coffee in hand for weeks can lead to health hazard.

I am planning my RE and I will definitely take your experience into consideration. So far my RE life has the following:

Building or purchasing a truck camper.

Spend 5yrs being a nomad and visit all the landmarks I read from tourist guides in person.

Volunteer in one or two animal shelter.

Have at least three new hobbies in computer, art, and music fields.

My RE goal is a prolonged decompression period that hopefully will reeducate myself before I decide if I want to go back to school and use all my 529 balance to enjoy organized knowledge uptake just for the sake of it.

Been in tech for 35 years (Military/civilian jobs) when I got laid off in 2019 age 54. We had been planning and preparing like you. So we decided to roam in an RV for some time. I found it difficult for the first 18 months to just relax and turn off the wheels upstairs. Now I hike, mountain bike (with an ebike), some kayaking, and do some lurking on forums. I have lost some weight, and lots of anxiety, feel much more relaxed and according to the VA am in better health than I was. I am discovering that with the slower pace it is much easier to fill my days with what interests me even if that interest is short lived.

 

[RHONDAVE]

I know those currently working and in the ER planning phase are not going to want to hear this.

I FIRE'd in June of 2019 at 53.5 from my IT job of 20 years and now a little over 2 years into it I'm strangely feeling like I need to go back to work, maybe in a part time capacity which is really perplexing given all the complaining I did when I was working and how much I was looking forward to freedom not to mention I'm a introvert so no job = no people constantly at you door breathing down your neck (except for my wife).

I was constantly researching the FIRE movement on this and other forums and would naively discount posters who say "I've been retired for x amount of time and thinking of going back to work because I'm board and miss the comradery" as they just need to find a better hobby. All this is very strange and gives meaning to the saying "be careful what you wish for, you might get it". Any of you at this point? ER not what you though it would be? Do I just need to take my own advise and find better hobbies?

Me Too! Ditto Ditto!
After 4 years out from a 35 year career, I am going to have my 25th interview today. Still looking to get back wage earnings to add to my SS income. Can't seem to shake my SHOULDAWOULDACOULDOF virus.

 

[HawkeyeNFO]

It amazes me that the creator of Beavis and Butthead could be so brilliant. Sometimes I think we are watching "Idiocracy" happen right before our eyes.

I've got front row seats. I work at the Pentagon. Beavis and Butthead have grown up, and now they are an Admiral and a General.

 

[Kroeran]

It's very ironic and I'm starting to think it was the pursuit of FIRE that was the most interesting and exciting part. Maybe it lends to the saying "never meet your hero's" IDK. Maybe like you I need to go though this experience to see how good FIRE really is.

For most, life is a process of creative imagining and working to bring dreams and goals into reality, which is why achieving a dream, usually has a letdown.

In older age, the default is to live through the dreams and unfolding lives of children and grandchildren, and there is nothing wrong with that.

It’s all good as long as you find a harmless sustainable flow of non-anxiety.

 

[Kroeran]

I think you might want to go ahead and get yourself a part-time job. That's the best way to determine if you really are "board and miss the comradery" or if you simply suffer from a perpetual case of "the grass is always greener" syndrome.

Let us know what you find out.

You have to fill the day with something. I had a blast uber driving for a few years.

 

[Kroeran]

After about 6 months retired and after the covid vaccination I needed some structure and more to do and decided it was safe to be in public. I started looking for a part time job with these criteria: within 5 miles of home, no stress, no physical requirements like standing or being outside in bad weather. I found a reception job and for about 20 hours a week it keeps me busy. The money is laughable, at minimum wage, but it fills a void. My wife says you have never complained about it, and I feel funny calling it work as a bunch of time I am watching their TV, on my phone or reading a book. But there is interaction with the customers as they come in and the other employees. As other posters have mentioned, you can always try something and quit if you dont like it.

On a political campaign I volunteered to man the office front desk for some hours and it was fantastic.

A very very wealthy distant relative just took a job as a veterinarians receptionist office manager.

 

[ExPatKiwi]

I think we often have rose-colored-glasses on when looking in the rear view mirror.

There were things I liked about my job. Solving problems, implementing cool stuff, collaborating with cool people. But the things I didn't like come with it, especially in IT:

On call. Weekend Installs. Joining late night bridge calls for outages. Reporting to Upper Seniors on why there was that outage. Super early morning or late night calls with the offshore team. Vendor contract negotiations. Management who wanted re-negotiations every year to get more for less when it was always less for less. Ever dwindling onshore support for more and more offshore.
The BS, the reporting, the budget fights. Running on stuff that needed upgrading, spending a month putting together a business case that had to be redone 17x for your boss, then, getting told, no money, again. Business partners who never wanted to compromise on scope, schedule, or budget and then never showed up to help test, and invented workarounds in production which you found out about 3 years later when you updated code and found broke their stupid workaround that they never told you about and now they've escalated to high levels before even telling you...

I mean if none of that is making you shudder, go back!

That reads like my company

 

[hotwired]

Purpose

I think people in general, men in particular need a sense of purpose, an actual mission that they're accomplishing. Something to hunt and kill so to speak. A job, tends to fill that hole just a little if not entirely depending on the nature of the job and perception of success.

For me, I'm basically retired except that my wife and I owned 22 rental units. They're always rented, and we have the quintessential four hour work week that you can read about him any of Tim ferriss books! Yet I still don't feel quite is on fire as I did when I was landing a landscape job, looking at two or three apartment buildings that will run down I see what I might offer for them, managing apartment rehab jobs etc

I think that's key is that you not just have to find something to do, what find a mission. Some people find it through volunteer work but I think the key is it has to resonate with you. It has to be something that's important to you and turns you on so to speak. For me I'm a lifelong musician and I've learned how to sing and now I do a solo act out of the local bars. I probably feel better and more accomplished and more on fire doing that then I ever have in my entire life, even when my band was winning national awards in the early 2000s. I practice an hour a day or more in my basement just wandering around playing the living you know what out of my guitar and singing at the top of my lungs and no amount of money could replace the feeling I got from that.

I don't know if that helps or makes sense but that's what I've got for today!

 

[Chapter 3]

Take up golf. Problem solved and different problems started.

Please pick another sport/hobby. The golf courses have already been way too busy in the last 1-1/2 years since so many are "working from home."

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I have no illusions about people missing me. It's been over two years now, and I'm sure that in the unlikely event my name ever comes up, the most common remark will be "who?"

Yep. I think some people overestimate their value. When people talk about being remembered, I will ask what they think about Crawford Long. Very few people will know who he was, but would most certainly be grateful for his contribution to medicine. He is just one of thousands (if not millions) of examples.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I've got front row seats. I work at the Pentagon. Beavis and Butthead have grown up, and now they are an Admiral and a General.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

You have to fill the day with something. I had a blast uber driving for a few years.

Oof...really? That would be a living hell to me. I can think of thousands of things I would rather do to "fill my day."

 

[klscaz]

I know those currently working and in the ER planning phase are not going to want to hear this.

I FIRE'd in June of 2019 at 53.5 from my IT job of 20 years and now a little over 2 years into it I'm strangely feeling like I need to go back to work, maybe in a part time capacity which is really perplexing given all the complaining I did when I was working

I went back to part time employment one month before the two year mark as I was searching for that feeling of camaraderie too. After 2 weeks we were working from home due to covid. I did not get the team experience that I was hoping for. I stayed for 10 months since there was not much to do in 2020. I don't think I'll take another job.

 

[klscaz]

I'm probably doing 30 hrs /week and doing mostly what I enjoy. Cabinetry, woodworking, custom furniture and finishing. Meeting lots of nice people in the 5 mile radius of my home.

Keeps the wifey happy now that I'm 3-4 months booked and too much new clients calling. I'm trying not to get too busy to not enjoy it. Been consistently making 6 figures equivalent ($60-80/hr) on most days. Pretty small initial investment if you already have a 2-3 car garage...

Some of my work
https://photos.app.goo.gl/gvm53NdGytYUoEkPA

Amazing work! Thanks for sharing. I wish you were in CT.

 

[FreeBear]

This really strikes a chord with me. At 50 and 53, we are likely in the position to stop working, but my wife is not ready. I don't think I can quit before she does, but these comments make me want to try harder to persuade her.

I consider ourselves quite healthy right now, but realize that it will only get worse from here...

Thanks for the post!

I read the "Die with Zero" book based on the lively discussion on another ER.org thread. The author contended that a typical person "peeks" around 45 to 65 years old. I hate to admit it, but DW and I peaked 5-10 years ago by the standard of the book, which focuses on physical ability and mental horsepower.

I believe, and some posters also contended, that this view discounts soft skills like wisdom, patience, love, etc., just like the very same are discounted often in the w*rkplace. Still, the basic facts remain and it's a tough adaptation for us. The loss, often gradual, of physical and mental abilities forces us to dig deeply emotionally, creatively, even spiritually to find a better, more meaningful life. FIRE allows me to start this journey "full time" without the unnecessary distraction "fog" of w*rk.

Another major consideration is that we are a "do everything together" type marriage. The biggest upside is that I always do life with my best friend. It is also the biggest downside when things go wrong: gradual loss of abilities, newly discovered differences revealed by the "x-ray" of time spent together in FIRE, growing list of medical issues, eventual caregiving.

We are blessed to have sufficient and growing financial strength to gradually redesign our lifestyle to deal with all these unstoppable changes. Think slow travel RV trips instead of car "cramping" with 800 mile/day drives. Think "Blowing That Dough" on contractors instead of dragging out the extension ladder to paint our home's exterior.

Change is tough, but at least with some dough there are still many choices, even very nice choices. Thanks all for hearing me vent!

 

[FreeBear]

This is such an important message. We hope that we got the balance right. This is from the backcountry of Yosemite. It was a 4 mile hike in, 1600 vertical ft. to nearly 11,000 ft. Probable won't be up to it in 5-10 more years.

Thanks for the pic Doc!

I love the CA High Sierras. Years ago, I drove 20 miles down a bumpy dirt road to Mineral King, Sequoia NP, if I remember correctly. The parking lot sat at around 9000 ft with signs posted that the local marmots like to eat your car's wiring while you are humping up the hill. Could hear and see waterfalls cascading from distant high peaks. Then you get a million switchbacks through the lodgepole pines which faded at the tree line, leaving bare granite glaring in the hot sun. Eventually, you are rewarded with a cute mountain lake at 11000 feet, with still more peaks towering above.

On a different trip, a coastal CA backpack, I had an extra day at the end. Had the brilliant idea to spend one night on the rim above Yosemite Valley, in the winter! When I pulled into the snow covered valley in my rental Buick, I could hear distant rock slides thundering down across the valley. I got my permit and hiked up the Brideveil Falls trail in full winter gear, maybe 40 pounds, including snowshoes and poles. Again, a zillion granite switchbacks in the fading winter light, many with a great view of the Upper and Lower Falls. Spent the night on the rim above Yosemite Valley. The next morning, much of the trail froze and I used my snowshoes as crampons for the worst sections. One of the toughest things I've ever done, but it still blazes brightly in my memory.

Thanks again for rekindling old glory!

 

[Bored Beyond Belief]

It's very ironic and I'm starting to think it was the pursuit of FIRE that was the most interesting and exciting part. Maybe it lends to the saying "never meet your hero's" IDK. Maybe like you I need to go though this experience to see how good FIRE really is.

This is exactly the conclusion I've come to. I was so focused on meeting my goal and it was such a big accomplishment that I am now feeling like there's nothing big to pursue or accomplish (reached FIRE at 46, now 50). Kids are about to leave the house in the next few years so I'm really worried how I'll spend my time. Now that they are driving my evenings are too open.

But I also can't image working for someone else, meeting deadlines, dealing with clients, vendors, employees and all the other related stuff (like having to answer to someone else's schedule or be somewhere at a particular time).

I love to plan trips but like a lot of other people my big travel plans have been on hold the last year and half.

Wish I had some better advice but I understand how you feel.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

This is exactly the conclusion I've come to. I was so focused on meeting my goal and it was such a big accomplishment that I am now feeling like there's nothing big to pursue or accomplish (reached FIRE at 46, now 50). Kids are about to leave the house in the next few years so I'm really worried how I'll spend my time. Now that they are driving my evenings are too open.

But I also can't image working for someone else, meeting deadlines, dealing with clients, vendors, employees and all the other related stuff (like having to answer to someone else's schedule or be somewhere at a particular time).

I love to plan trips but like a lot of other people my big travel plans have been on hold the last year and half.

Wish I had some better advice but I understand how you feel.

I think it takes some time to accept that you don't always have to be "performing" and meeting defined goals. I am going through this now as I have had a few fleeting moments of "undefined listlessness" these first few weeks. It doesn't bother me as I know this is a transition and I am A LOT happier than when w*rking and enjoy being able to do whatever I choose. Eventually, I expect I will become consumed with a few projects/hobbies and become engrossed and feel like I have no time! I have not been bored yet but I started a list 20+ years ago of things I enjoy, think I would enjoy, and used to enjoy that I think inspired by the book "The Joy of Not Working" that I will refer to if I ever feel "bored."

 

[karen1972]

Depends on what drives you and if work is the only place you will find that. It took me years to find the right people to reform my tribe after early retirement, lots of trial and error to find my happy place where i was adding value but still maintained independence and proper balance.

The only question I would have is you will retire eventually so at some point one has to figure out how to fill that void w/o work unless you see yourself working into your 80s.

 

[anothercog]

This thread strikes a chord with me. I'm 51 and should hit my FI goal in a couple more years but not planning on pulling the cord until my youngest kid graduates from high school in 6 more years.

However, I don't really have anything to retire to. As it is my current job does not take 40 hours worth of effort and I'm constantly bored. Working from home I am finding myself drinking and napping more. I can't imagine what would happen if I had nothing to fill up my days. I don't expect to see grandchildren until I'm close to 70 so I need some activities until then.

My original thought was to become a nearly full time globe-trotter while we are still young and healthy but DW is not on board with that plan.

My new thought is rather than retiring at 57 is negotiating with my work to give up most of the additional responsibilities I have taken on over the past few years and going back to what I was doing about 5-6 years ago. This will allow me to promote several people on my team while keeping the work for which I am the only expert in the company. I could take a pay cut, transition to part-time and it would cut down drastically on all the e-mails, management and urgent request that currently cause me heartburn. I can work on a good succession plan between now and then.

I could also move to Florida and do the job remotely and the tax savings would offset much of the pay cut. A new environment with more to do would hopefully alleviate my boredom and keeping the job would keep us flush with disposable income to burn on entertainment/travel.

Anyway, that is the thought du jour. I'm sure I'll have another hair-brained plan shortly.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

However, I don't really have anything to retire to. As it is my current job does not take 40 hours worth of effort and I'm constantly bored. Working from home I am finding myself drinking and napping more. I can't imagine what would happen if I had nothing to fill up my days.

I'm very recently retired but in my experience being FIREd is completely different from w*rking at home (the only time I did was during COVID). I felt like I was on house arrest or in in-school suspension when "w*rking" from home. There was very little productive activity I could do at home but I was supposed to be "w*rking" the entire day... they were draining days. I got some chores done but could not do what I wanted to because I had to answer the random email within a few minutes. I could see everything I wanted to do but couldn't really do it. Even when I could, I felt unethical even though there was no loss. I know others brazenly slacked but I had too much integrity so I quit!

 

[pb4uski]

Please pick another sport/hobby. The golf courses have already been way too busy in the last 1-1/2 years since so many are "working from home."

Not where I am... we usually play 18 in ~3-1/2 hours or less.

 

[USGrant1962]

I know those currently working and in the ER planning phase are not going to want to hear this.

I FIRE'd in June of 2019 at 53.5 from my IT job of 20 years and now a little over 2 years into it I'm strangely feeling like I need to go back to work, maybe in a part time capacity which is really perplexing given all the complaining I did when I was working and how much I was looking forward to freedom not to mention I'm a introvert so no job = no people constantly at you door breathing down your neck (except for my wife).

I was constantly researching the FIRE movement on this and other forums and would naively discount posters who say "I've been retired for x amount of time and thinking of going back to work because I'm board and miss the comradery" as they just need to find a better hobby. All this is very strange and gives meaning to the saying "be careful what you wish for, you might get it". Any of you at this point? ER not what you though it would be? Do I just need to take my own advise and find better hobbies?

I FIREd in March 2017 but always planned to semi-ER, so FIsRE or something. I was FI, but figured I would consult a couple hundred hours a year (average 4 hours a week) to keep engaged in my industry and pad the portfolio. That's pretty much how it worked in 2017 and 2018.

But in 2019 two different clients (people I've known and worked with for years) heard that I was consulting and threw retainers at me. So now I'm working ~1/3 time, almost all from home (no commute, was 2.5 hours/day when I wasn't on business trips), and I'm making enough to cover all expenses and add to the stash. And it was a great time-waster during Covid shutdowns.

So my "ER" plan was always a huge downshift, but not a total exit from my career.

OTOH, I do need to prioritize expensive hobbies more. I'm terrible at golf and planned to get some lessons and work on that. But I procrastinated and then Covid hit. Maybe this spring. In good news, live local home poker has started up again!

My point is FI is the important thing. Once you are FI you can get off the corporate treadmill and do whatever floats your boat. As many examples in this thread show, you can "go back to work" on your own terms, if you like. Or not.

 

[mcbraemer]

I'm very recently retired but in my experience being FIREd is completely different from w*rking at home (the only time I did was during COVID). I felt like I was on house arrest or in in-school suspension when "w*rking" from home. There was very little productive activity I could do at home but I was supposed to be "w*rking" the entire day... they were draining days. I got some chores done but could not do what I wanted to because I had to answer the random email within a few minutes. I could see everything I wanted to do but couldn't really do it. Even when I could, I felt unethical even though there was no loss. I know others brazenly slacked but I had too much integrity so I quit!

Haha! Reminds me of a description I recently heard: It's not really "Working from Home" as much as it is "Living at Work"!!!

I found myself surprisingly despising work from home as well. It was exactly like house arrest, and I found myself actually working significantly more during these days than I would have in the office, mostly to assuage my guilt and prove that I was actually "working" and not slacking off.

 

[RetireBy90]

Take up golf. Problem solved and different problems started.

Might be less frustration at the job

 

[RetiredHappy]

We golf 4 to 5 days a week and watch Food Network in the evenings when we are not hosting friends over for dinner. Life is good in retirement.