Well, even though you didn't invite me to, I can say a little more about it.
I went back to work, VERY part-time, when my daughter was 2 months old. Just a few hours a week at first, then 15 hrs, then half-time for a long time. But I went to work full-time when she was 3 1/2, and coupled with the long commute it was torture. I ached to get home every evening.
I wasn't comfortable working full-time until she was in kindergarten, at which time it felt a little less awful.
But my work was very demanding emotionally (psychologist specializing in trauma, working with chronically suicidal patients, many weekend and evening crisis phone calls, coordinating phone calls to ambulances and hospitals . . . ). My clients' pain often filled my consciousness. I'd come home, make dinner, clean up from dinner, start bedtime preparations, and get my kid to bed. Sometimes it felt like I was only with her on weekends.
When the school would have a daytime show for parents, it was a constant pull to be at school and to be at work. When my daughter was too sick to go to school, I felt grateful to have a wonderful babysitter who was always willing to have her there. The guilt was dreadful.
I'm not ER'd, but I quit my full-time job and work for myself now, and stopped seeing that type of client. I make my own schedule, probably about 20 hours a week. I turned down a consulting gig that would have conflicted with hockey. And I'm planning on keeping every Wednesday afternoon free for my daughter's games when hockey season starts (she's a goalie) (yes, I got this idea of playing hockey from her!). Today I didn't do any work at all, but drove her up to her new school to buy books and see her dorm room.
And yes, it's not ER, but I sure wish I'd done it sooner. Maybe when she was in kindergarten. I achieved a lot in my career (which helps, now, in getting the work I want), and I have a terrific, well-adjusted kid. But she's 15 and I still ache for all that I missed.
Anne