What made you truly feel successful?

[FIREmenow]

I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to:

Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21
Graduate grad school
2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area
7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants)
We get together daily
Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity
FIRE
Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s

Long way from homeless without a family

*THAT* is success!!! Awesome!

 

[mrfeh]

Being "successful" was never a goal of mine. I'm not even really sure what that means.

I do my best to be a responsible citizen; treat others as I would like to be treated. Provide for and appreciate my family. Give back to the community.

If I have self-respect, I'm content.

 

[flyingaway]

I was a top researcher considered by others as very successful. I worked very hard (more than 80 hours a week) and I am now regretting for that. I neglected my health and I am paying for that now.
As discussed in another thread, I lost my ambition a few years ago.

 

[street]

I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to:

Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21
Graduate grad school
2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area
7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants)
We get together daily
Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity
FIRE
Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s

Long way from homeless without a family

Job well done!

 

[FIREd]

I am happy with the path that I forged in life. I made unorthodox choices and took some risks but it all paid off in the end.

I never achieved great success in my professional life (no Ivy League school, flashy titles, mega mansion, etc...), but I did better than expected. Such success was never attractive to me anyway. My role models were hard working farmers so I always measured success differently - a tight and caring family, self-reliance, resilience, upholding one's values, generosity, dignity, decency, etc... Those are lifelong pursuits of course, but I am very satisfied with my current situation.

FIRE is of course my one visible sign of success. But beyond the "numbers", FIRE allows me to live life on my own terms, without bending the knee to anyone. I have the time and resources to help those who need it, I am economically resilient and self-sufficient, and I don't have to compromise my values or dignity to make a buck.

 

[Red Badger]

I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to:

Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21
Graduate grad school
2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area
7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants)
We get together daily
Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity
FIRE
Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s

Long way from homeless without a family

Great job, Gayl

I was homeless at 20; lost job, booted out of apartment shortly thereafter. I remember shoplifting a pack of hot dogs and eating them cold outside in -20 MN winter. Not my proudest moment. I was very suicidal because of the life station I allowed myself to arrive at.

Anyway, got off my backside. After a few false starts, I ended up in the army and parlayed that into a career of 15 years active and 15 as a reservist. Retired as a master sergeant.

Went to school at night and completed under and grad degrees, both with honors (and no student debt).

Just completed 20+ years at mega-corp. Only made it to middle management, but that was by choice (loved my independent role). Started out there as a temp on a factory floor, so walked away very pleased with what I accomplished. Really, really enjoyed those moments where I could coach and mentor young spark plugs.

My greatest satisfaction? My DW of 25+ years and our (marginally) special needs DS. DW was SAHM so I could go out and play every day while calling it work. I retired a little early to be with them, as our days on this rock are finite and unknown. Having the means to do so is a blessing indeed (many times over).

And, I do enjoy prepping food at the local soup kitchen. Sometimes we serve hot dogs, but they are warm, on a bun, accompanied with sides, (including love) and served inside, away from the elements.

As others have mentioned, if you were born in in a modern, peaceful country, you had a leg up. If born in a country like the US, you started life in the "red zone" (the twenty yard line closest to your opposing teams goal post for those that don't know American football).

 

[Koogie]

"I'm sorry sir but cheese is extra"

"No problem and I'll take the guacamole too"

 

[brewer12345]

Not sure what "feeling successful" might be. I have never felt that way, only just felt like I have survived thus far with no guarantees for the future. Maybe I will feel differently once my kids are through college and I don't have a big planning objective I am worrying about.

 

[gayl]

As others have mentioned, if you were born in in a modern, peaceful country, you had a leg up. If born in a country like the US, you started life in the "red zone" (the twenty yard line closest to your opposing teams goal post for those that don't know American football).

So true! Helps that we could see there was an end zone

 

[braumeister]

I vote for gayl and Red Badger for forum members of the year so far.


Achieving success is wonderful, but doing it after overcoming enormous adversity is truly impressive. Kudos!

 

[dallas27]

OP here. To answer my own question, for me it was being close enough to FI to realize I will make it one way or another. I felt I've been "behind" my whole life, even though I was usually outperforming others. Suddenly learning and applying FIRE math, saving hard, and doing projections gave me a sense of relief that there are a series of finish lines ahead and I get to pick which one is the end. Burden lifted, if you will. I caveat all that by admitting my youth at 39, an likely (hopefully) feel higher levels of satisfaction in the decades ahead that are non monetary.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Financial success is such a small part of the total, plus its measure will vary for every person.

 

[Dash man]

By the grace of God my Air Force training in Search and Rescue/Special Operations allowed me to participate in saving over a dozen lives.
Also, when my loving wife and I got to hold our grandson for the first time, I felt at the top of the world.
Financially, being able to help others, whether family, church or charity is a blessing.

 

[Danmar]

Financial success is such a small part of the total, plus its measure will vary for every person.

Yes, agree. If if was only money we could simply do a net worth poll;( again).

 

[Car-Guy]

Honestly, in business, it would achieving a level that fewer than 5% of my co-workers reached at "MegaCorp", even those with multiple masters and some with PHD's. It's funny, but that seemed to mean a lot to me while I was working but now it doesn't seem to matter much.

In my personal life (outside of business) it would be the following and probably in this order.

- Finding the DW over 40 years ago and having enough sense to recognize my discovery and do something about it
- Never borrowing money from my parents once I left home (at 18)
- Having enough money to ER and do what I want (enjoying life on my terms) without asking the price or feeling the need to cutback/save, etc. (enabled by my working career)

 

[HadEnuff]

Getting out alive

nobody gets out alive.

 

[Meadbh]

Dictionaries define "success" as accomplishment of an aim or purpose. I recall very clearly being 14 years old and trying to decide what do do with my life, and deciding that financial independence was my goal. I have achieved that (as well as other goals that I decided on later) so I consider myself a success. I'm grateful for the stability and educational opportunities that my parents made sure I had. I did not face the challenges that some of you did. Nevertheless there was no silver spoon and I would not have been successful without a lifetime of effort.

 

[Jpg1717]

I feel blessed that I was a public servant for 30 years and was able to help people fighting fires and trying to save lives. I may not be rich, although my family is comfortable with a decent pension. At my Jesuit high school, we were taught to be " men for others", and I believe that serving your fellow citizens is a way to live a successful life.

 

[MissMolly]

nobody gets out alive.

I meant out of my j*b.

 

[Gumby]

You ask a very interesting question dallas27. I have felt successful many times in my life. The first I can recall was the day I learned to tie my shoes on my own, sitting on the steps of our trailer. I also felt successful when I discovered the place value of numbers on my own during first grade. Various and sundry professional and personal milestones arrived in due course, and, each time, I felt successful. Financially, I first felt successful the day I walked into the grocery store and bought what I wanted without knowing or caring how much it cost (a far cry from my upbringing).

I guess my point is that there is no one event or moment to define success in our lives. There are many, many little successes along the way, and we should celebrate them all. It gives us strength and the ability to continue on. In my view, waiting to arrive at some consensus definition of "success" is folly - a recipe for permanent disillusionment when we don't get there, wherever that may be.

 

[Nemo2]

.the first I can recall was the day I learned to tie my shoes on my own

I remember the first time I did mine.......it was "Wow".....I undid them, retied them, undid them......

 

[kgtest]

Many people who are considered tremendously successful by others never feel successful themselves. If you are one of those people, I pity you and you can't really answer my question.

For everyone who has had a full life, and reached a point in life where they look around them and decide they are content with their position in the universe and what/who they interact with, what is the most important piece that let you arrive at that place where you feel truly satisfied with yourself, your life?

Is it material like worth? Is it purposeful like a high rank or power? Is it vicarious by seeing and helping others succeed at their goals? Is it interpersonal and relationships?

Try to really narrow it down to the one aspect of life that mattered the most for you to "arrive" at what you define as success, or happiness, or whatever word you choose.

I think its all of the above, or rather balance. Success in managing time, family, money and social interests. A man is rich when he has not enough time to spend with everyone who loves him. Success is not measured by the wars won or your net worth, it's measured by the scars and wounds we've earned along the way. One does not simply "succeed", first they must fail.

 

[FlaGator]

Love the thought-provoking topics here. Have been helpful as I sort out the next steps in my life.

Been thinking about this one since first posted. Four milestones in my adult working life, basically in order.

Professionally - Led an operational turnaround of a group of ~100 people and they saved their jobs in the process. Only a handful of us knew the consequences of failure. Having the management team pull them along was a sign I could be an effective leader.

As a spouse - Cared for my wife in the last year of her life. Accompanied her to every chemo treatment, managed her doctors, nurses and drugs. Always had food on hand she could eat. Committed at the outset to care for her at home as long as I could. Made it until the day before she died.

As a parent - kept the kids going with school while mom was sick. They never missed a day. Maintained their grades throughout, and since. They continue to flourish, and we're closer than ever. After 3+ years as a single parent concluded I was no longer at risk for messing up what their mother handed over.

Financially - Knowing my kids needed me more than my employer, was able to hang it up and become a full time parent. Had a good wife who supported my career and was careful with money.

 

[dunkelblau]

Four touchdowns in a single game?

For me it was the feeling of solving a chronic problem with self-control. Throughout my youth I was addicted to soda pop and I carried around the excess weight as a consequence. I think my BMI was borderline obese during my late teens. Shortly after my 40th birthday a health scare made me realize where I was headed. But it seemed pretty hopeless changing course on decades of ingrained habit.

Don't remember where I got the idea, but I knew cold turkey was impossible for me, so I tried a gradual dilution scheme where I would mix tap water into my regular 2-liters per day. Every week I added a bit more water than the previous week. Eventually after nearly a year the water ratio was so high the only thing soda about what I was drinking was the bottle.

BMI comfortably below 20 now and still hanging onto my last empty soda bottle as a trophy.

 

[Koogie]

I remember the first time I did mine.......it was "Wow".....I undid them, retied them, undid them......

Last Wednesday was a helluva day wasn't it !