Why is FIRE so bittersweet?

[Jollyquick]

My partner and I both retired at 52 in Europe. Both of us have the same regret that we didn’t retire earlier. Our “bitter” regret was second guessing ourselves and working almost 5 years longer than we needed to. The “sweet” is we did benefit from an extra 5 years of disposable income! Kind of gave ourselves some extra lemons to make lemonade out of...

 

[mickeyd]

Being retired is pretty darned good; I don't miss work one bit.

I would suggest gardening as a post retirement activity.

I agree Gumby. I was never much of a gardener up to now, but since I moved to this CCRC (which has a great ( joint /collective garden space) I have really enjoyed fresh tomatoes, cukes, peppers and okra this spring. I feel in tune with nature once again.

 

[Which Roger]

I agree wholeheartedly that having something to "retire to" makes the transition much easier. However, I think what made it so easy for me was what I was "retiring from". Company that was no longer what it had been back in the day, struggling for years, constant layoffs, very low morale, etc.
I sometimes think about what might have happened if my company had continued to thrive during the 2nd half of my career like it did in the 1st half. I may have been promoted a couple times, had a lot more responsibility, be a lot more tied up in my work, etc. And maybe even still working! Or maybe not. I think I had the ER bug from the beginning, even when things were good.

 

[Dtail]

I agree Gumby. I was never much of a gardener up to now, but since I moved to this CCRC (which has a great ( joint /collective garden space) I have really enjoyed fresh tomatoes, cukes, peppers and okra this spring. I feel in tune with nature once again.

Same here but on the non edible plant side vs. the veggie side.

 

[sgstaley]

Being retired is pretty darned good; I don't miss work one bit.

I would suggest gardening as a post retirement activity. The weather, weeds and bugs don't care at all how important you were or thought you were. They'll try to destroy your crop all the same. And when you've finally coaxed that perfectly ripe, beautiful and delicious heirloom tomato from the the plant to your plate, you'll have a satisfaction that no job can give you. We have a plot at the community garden. Most of the other gardeners are also retirees. I could not tell you what a single one of them did for work, and they don't know what I did. We talk about what we've planted, how it's growing, what might help with the pests, how we are coping with the weather, what we might try next year and such. Just a bunch of people who enjoy a wholesome activity out in the sunshine and fresh air.

What a nice story, Gumby. I retired a couple of years ago and to add to your story, my wife and I took up canning our vegetables. That is TRUE satisfaction here in the midwest during the winter.

 

[second_act_at_42]

I agree wholeheartedly that having something to "retire to" makes the transition much easier. However, I think what made it so easy for me was what I was "retiring from". Company that was no longer what it had been back in the day, struggling for years, constant layoffs, very low morale, etc.
I sometimes think about what might have happened if my company had continued to thrive during the 2nd half of my career like it did in the 1st half. I may have been promoted a couple times, had a lot more responsibility, be a lot more tied up in my work, etc. And maybe even still working! Or maybe not. I think I had the ER bug from the beginning, even when things were good.

Thanks Which Roger, this feels quite familiar and is something I think of often... the "what-if" corporate ladder scenario... just 6 more months and let's see what happens. Ultimately though if I extract myself from the day to day and think about when I'm the happiest - it's definitely not at work. Even though we are thriving still - I'm just not sure I have what it takes to pass up so much time with my family pursuing whatever the "F" I want each day.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

So ... a person previously managing a large staff with a $100M+ budget will be satisfied puttering around in the garden? Perhaps.

I enjoy doing the yard work around my place (getting out in the fresh air, seeing plants grow & thrive, etc.) but I wouldn't consider this a primary vehicle to (semi-)retirement satisfaction. YMMV.

At my last corporate job I was responsible for several projects with teams in multiple countries, high pressure, long hours and tight deadlines. I enjoyed the salary and pension from the job which helped me to retire early, but the job was always work and stress - just a way to make money, not my reason for living and certainly not anything I'd choose to do it I wasn't getting paid for it. I'd take gardening (or similar type hobbies) any day over any of the megacorp jobs I've had in the past, and DH feels the same.

We're involved in several senior clubs these days. I see some of the people who used to be big execs at megacorps take on leadership roles in the clubs. The mover and shaker types stay pretty busy doing that. Leadership roles in volunteer capacities are still available in retirement for those who enjoy managing people and projects. And others just worked until they were too ill to work any longer and never really got to enjoy their retirement.

 

[socca]

At my last corporate job I was responsible for several projects with teams in multiple countries, high pressure, long hours and tight deadlines. I enjoyed the salary and pension from the job which helped me to retire early...

FWIW, I was speculating about the OP's job situation (a scenario that would permit the rapid accumulation of assets if the finances are managed well) rather than describing my own. I was not a corporate exec when I was a W2 employee, and the family biz I semi-retired to isn't that large. So, no private jets or yachts in socca-land .

Folks who enjoyed building things and seeing them work during their careers might be on the path to a satisfying retirement if they can continue building things in retirement. People who built and ran empires during their careers can either stop empire-building or find smaller domains to command in retirement.

 

[2017wasthe year]

I think it all depends on what your job was before you retired. The other posters are right in that you will not miss the pettyness of office politics, the cruelty of corporate life and the lack of hours that you could call your own. But the loss of purpose is real, especially if you were in any kind of leadership position. Hard to explain, but the best way that I can describe it is that though your life can remain large, you sense of size in the world can get a lot smaller. You become a small fish in a big ocean. If you were used to managing big projects, directing big teams and dealing with big budgets then all that goes away. I know this is all BS anyway but this responsibility has been something that defined you for years and now its gone. The fact that you are retiring early also means that you know you still have the capacity to do more big efforts but are choosing to not tap that capacity. The sooner you can accept that you are fine with being an unimportant little minnow the faster you can get over this, but it is real, especially for so many of us who were defined by what we did at work. There is a personal challenge buried in this and you have to really learn to be really humble. Basically you are chucking all of the status elements that were in your life before away and then shrinking your sense of self to fit.

Wow. You have summed up what I have been experiencing for the past 2 1/2 years. Not just experiencing.... struggling with. And trying to understand why I am struggling and still looking back ... but at what, I wonder? You tapped into my issue so articulately. PLUS, I keep adding up all the extra $ I would have saved these last two years. I don't need it. I don't spend much. It is a real mental thing for me that I am working on. I envy the people who say they FIRE'ed and never looked back.

 

[Dalmore]

Having just said good-bye to some long time co-workers, I understand the bitter-sweet thoughts. However, keep in mind, FI doesn't mean you have to RE. It means you have choices. Lots of options to do whatever is right for you. If that means continuing to work, great. You know you can leave anytime it is no longer satisfying. If that means changing "how" you work (remotely, part-time, as a consultant), great. You hold the cards and can force the issue with your employer. If it means leaving all together, that is fine too as you are set financially and don't have to worry about what comes next.

 

[meleana]

Quit. You’re rich.