Wills & instructions for loved ones

[Free To Canoe]

You very definitely need to have a will done. Otherwise the state will decide how assets are distributed and depending on family structures that can get very complicated.

Understand clearly that it is not certain that your wife will by default get everything. In some states she would only get half or perhaps less, the remainder being distributed to other relatives, some related only by marriage.

A will resolves all those issues simply and (relatively) cheaply. Since a will is for most people a "one time" expense I'm in the school that says pay a lawyer for it rather than risk screwing it up myself.

As for us DW is very much "in the loop" on finances (she wrote the spreadsheet we use for income/expenses on an almost daily basis) so she would have little difficulty taking over.

Reading Midpack's link and above got me thinking. In Pennsylvania, even though we don't have any kids, part of the estate goes to surviving mother in-law if DW kicks the bucket 1st. I am surprised to learn this. I am starting to appreciate that the $500 for will and other documents was money well spent.

 

[kcowan]

I am starting to appreciate that the $500 for will and other documents was money well spent.

Also politicans can change the rules at any time so a will is necessary to protect your estate from such vagraries.

 

[ronocnikral]

DW and I had an excellent discussion last night about wills and who we would want to raise DD if we both pass and how to split everything up if we all go at the same time. It was good to have this conversation, as DW was raised with the mentality that everything should be equally divided up. But we decided some family members show us a great deal more love while others leave us feeling used. Also, some family members could use the money a great deal more than others. There are going to be some upset people, but it is our money and we're using it how we want to.

It was great to get aligned on some of the major issues. Now, to find someone to actually do our will....

 

[farmerEd]

Neither of us want any of our family to serve as executors (plus, we are the youngest in each family so we might outlive all of them) and would rather hire a third-party professional executor?

We are in the same boat...we have seen up close what happens when you pick the wrong people/person to be executor; DW's parents both died about 18 months ago, in quick succession. Of 5 sibling, one was named to be the executor, and proceeded to be a complete a total a*hole during the entire process and severely ruined the previously close family dynamics such that it is very likely there will never be a reconciliation - and all this done even though the will was about as fair and simple as possible (divided everything by 5).

Having an executor who is not a family member, while costly, at least has all the heirs united on one side, and the executor on the other.

When my time comes, I think I'd rather have my 4 kids aligned together (if things go badly) battling a non-family member executor, than split the family - which is what often happens instead.

 

[Nords]

When my time comes, I think I'd rather have my 4 kids aligned together (if things go badly) battling a non-family member executor, than split the family - which is what often happens instead.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend",
and
"You really can put a price on family harmony"...

 

[PaddyMac]

We are in the same boat...we have seen up close what happens when you pick the wrong people/person to be executor; DW's parents both died about 18 months ago, in quick succession. Of 5 sibling, one was named to be the executor, and proceeded to be a complete a total a*hole during the entire process and severely ruined the previously close family dynamics such that it is very likely there will never be a reconciliation - and all this done even though the will was about as fair and simple as possible (divided everything by 5).

Same thing happened when my Dad died. His will left everything even to all the kids, but the oldest brother was the executor. It took a couple of years to sell the stocks and divide the money and everyone kept thinking it was my brother's fault for not hassling the lawyer more and speeding things along. (I was happy though - the Euro got stronger in the meantime and I made more by waiting!)