Would you be friends with your sibling?

[Danmar]

I am the youngest of 5 siblings. We really have nothing in common as far as personality and life approach goes.

Perhaps I was hatched...

My answer is definitely not.

Totally same. I am the oldest of 6. Many people have commented on how unalike I am to my sibs. The most obvious, but certainly not the only, difference is net worth and lifestyle, education, fitness, I suspect happiness. One is deceased, one (most normal) is a retired teacher, one is schizophrenic, two others have very poor life skills and exist on the fringes. Would not ever be friends with them if it wasn't for family connection.

 

[karen1972]

I have 4 siblings, and I very highly doubt it. I am nothing like my family and we have very little in common. It difficult to even spend time with them as we have nothing to say...we pretty much stick to how are the kids? I have about 35 first cousins and I finally found 3 of them I am similar to and we all feel like outcasts.


I know I'm different because I spent a lot of time with the neighbors and thus grew up with a very different perspective on life. I'm a city/world traveler, they are rural farmers...those two things really don't mix...its pretty much the extremes in everyway. Then you add the economic difference and it really isn't going to set well. I remember sitting at my Grandmas table while my uncles were bitching about my cousin who made $40k as a manager at a plant... how could some 30 yr old make that much? its ridiculous was the conversation...nothing like awkward as you sit there making 6 figures at 30.. you just shut up and tell your grandma how good her pie is.


The thing is, they are still your family.. even my brother who I don't even like, I'd do anything for. I think the fact you can love someone you don't even like is an amazing part of human nature.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I wish I were close to my siblings and am jealous when I see people who are obviously related out and about enjoying each other.

 

[Which Roger]

Yes. My sister and I were close from day 1, and we think alike, and we have always looked out for each other, and our life circumstances are very similar, and...

But don't get me started on aunts and uncles and cousins.

 

[NW-Bound]

I like all five of my siblings...
I also like most of my nephews and nieces. Same goes for DW's family.

My wife got along with her siblings, and often mediates between them. I strongly believe that without her, some of them would not speak to one another.

I do not agree with my siblings all the time, but there is no need to bring politics or lifestyle differences into the family relationship. I try to focus on what we have in common and our experiences growing up together. We now live different lives and we should not tell each other what to do.

My children get along well with their cousins and the spouses too, and are like siblings to some of them. Of course my son and daughter are very close, and that pleases us to no end.

 

[VaCollector]

This thread deserves a poll...please...

Another BIG NO here....my younger brother....well, let's just keep it at NO.

 

[kcowan]

But don't get me started on aunts and uncles and cousins.

8 people as aunts/uncles. Lots of cousins. I get along with all of them, partly because we live 2300 miles apart. Sometimes I miss them. But not enough to move.

Both older brother and older BIL died at age 69. No other siblings. But we got along great.

Back in the day, I kept in touch with all the cousins on my mother's side after a family squabble. Never regretted that.

 

[Sue J]

My sister and I are very different in many ways. We would not be friends if not related.

As sisters we get along very well. As we get older and lose other family members we both realize what a treasure it is to have each other as sisters.

When we were younger she used to try to "fix" me because she thought I should be more like her - social, religious and concerned about having all the right things and being seen by all the right people. Then she realized that I was happy the way I was and there were parts of her life that were miserable.

Over the years she has gone through some changes (divorce, remarriage, reconnecting with one of her sons) and is much happier now has a healthy respect for our differences.

We appreciate having each other and we are friends but it would not have happened if we were not related.

We also had a brother. He died in 2006 from drugs and stupidity. He was estranged from the family for many years and had contacted me in 2004 to reconnect. We were slowly getting to know each other again when he died. I would not have been friends with him.

DH is the oldest of 5 siblings and would be best friends with his brother and one or two of his sisters if they lived nearby. His brother and his family are coming for a quick visit on the 24th. I love seeing the brothers together.

 

[unno2002]

Sibling and I do not talk with each other. Our views on life, government, work, money, etc. are incompatible.

 

[MichaelB]

I get along with all my siblings, they don't all get along with me.

Looking back two generations there are similar patterns of behaviour within the families. There seems to be a genetic component to this, I see signs in the next generation as well, although (happily) they are fading.

 

[nash031]

I seriously doubt it. One is a helicopter mom who drives me crazy when I'm around her; the other is too spendy and self-centered for my taste. Now, they're my sisters and I don't keep a bunch of friends of the opposite sex close anyway, so that's probably enough to go on, but I doubt either sister would have time for me if they weren't my sisters either.

My brothers in law? They're they types of guys I have for friends, yes, so my sisters chose well I think!

 

[ProspectiveBum]

Another 'No' vote here. My sister is 41, and a terminally unemployed (apparently former?) drug addict who still lives at home and sponges off my Dad. I haven't spoken to her in 4+ years, and asked my Dad to stop bringing her with him when he visits.

Even if her life wasn't in such a shambles, we'd never be friends. She's very extroverted and loud, and very much a grasshopper to my ant.

 

[imoldernu]

One younger brother who passed away too soon 18 years ago. While we lived in New England our families were close, and we always got along. When we moved to the Midwest, we never visited, though we exchanged emails on a regular basis on philosophy, and life in general. He was a friend and follower of Noam Chomsky, which provided the subjects for exchanging our views on the world. He was extremely bright, and we always enjoyed our esoteric discussions.

Brothers in law and sisters in law... always spent time together as part of our extended families which meant weekends and vacations with all of our kids... a family tradition... DW's family and my family were always together... Summers always in RI. and on Narraganset Bay. Later SIL and BIL lived near us on Cape Cod for 6 years, then in upstate NY for another five years. Probably the happiest years of our lives... with 7 youngsters between us. After they moved to PEI, CA we still visited together, when we lived in FL...

We are friendly with another BIL and SIL but because of distance, no longer as close as in the early years.

So yeah... Would we be friends? We still are... it's only distance and years that intervene... In a way, perhaps because of growing up in an earlier time... 1930's through the late 1980's... Families were always close. Not just fading memories, but a closeness that meant sharing the downsides, as well as the happy times.

No regrets, except for those who have passed away.

 

[Options]

My older brother and sister just under me are pretty awesome people, and so yes I am and would be friends with both. My younger sister drifted away from our family years ago which disturbed me a lot because I was close to her. I don't think I've seen or heard from my youngest brother in over 15 years, which is a shame because he and I were very close until I went off to college. I have always liked my brothers and sisters, but always thought I could have done a better job which parents to be born to. They're alright, but have always been and continue to be a handful.

 

[Silver]

No, if my sister was not my sister, we would not be friends.

I love and respect my sister greatly, but we are not close. We are more like casual acquaintances that think fondly of each other, but have nothing in common. And it works fine for us.

 

[MBAustin]

DS and I get along fine, but we live ~2000 miles apart. While our mom was alive, I visited every month or two (they were in the same town) and talked regularly, but since she died last year, we don't have a reason to be in touch often. I do plan to call her this evening (today would have been Mom's 85th birthday). I do enjoy her company when we get together, but don't think I would have picked her for a friend (she is much more extroverted than I am).

 

[Teacher Terry]

I have 2 older siblings & no.

 

[pullmyfinger]

I am #4 of 5 siblings and the three older ones (sister and 2 brothers) are much older. Younger brother and I are 1.5 years apart. The two oldest siblings always hated my younger brother and I and were very open about it.

Our parents were both dead by the time I was 25, and the two oldest siblings (sister and brother) came to my younger brother and I expecting us to continue the handouts they got from mom and dad! Because my sister has many, many children, I have tried reaching out to her over the years hoping that I could have relationships with these nieces and nephews. Unless I am constantly providing gifts/money, they are not interested. Unfortunately, her children also expect the same from me, so I gave up.

My younger brother is probably my favorite person in the whole world. I absolutely adore him, so yes, I would definitely be friends with him. We have tons in common and I really enjoy his company. In fact, DH and I are taking my brother's family with us to Europe next year. We really appreciate the good relationship we have with his family.

 

[Walt34]

No, but not because of any hostilities. My sisters and I just have different priorities and interests but they're good people. My older sister did ask me to be her back-up POA after her husband and I agreed to do that for her.

 

[Asher Aion]

My brother and I rarely talk but when we do get together we get along well. We are both very independent people so those gaps in time are not a factor for us. We were never close growing up.

I am much closer to my sister, likely because we live in the same town, but also have more similar interests, my DW and BIL as well. We would likely be friends if not for being family.

DW siblings are a mixed bag of personalities. No chance there.

 

[RAE]

No, definitely not. My sister is very, very difficult to get along with. After about an hour or two around her, I have had more than enough (and my wife can't take that much). My brother and I basically have little or nothing in common. I get along with him, but there is just not that much to talk about.

 

[ABQ2015]

I have five siblings and we would not be friends, not because we don't like each other but just because we don't have much in common. My two sisters and one brother barely finished high school, are not career oriented but are extroverted, party and drink a lot, smoke, always broke, and the women are into dating, clothes, jewelry, and makeup. I'm female but am introverted, analytical, educated, career oriented, and a home body. I have more in common with my other two brothers but one is politically conservative and religious. They live about 600-1500 miles from me in a state that I intensely dislike but they think is great. We try to get together at Christmas and I occasionally visit.

My family life was very dysfunctional with divorced parents, etc. and we just all sort of went our own separate ways after high school. On the other hand, the older kids in my family basically raised the younger kids while my parents were off working or whatever. So we have a special bond and will always love and care about each other. I love my siblings much more than I ever loved my parents which is probably not the norm.

 

[Music Lover]

No.

My brother (4 years younger) and I get along very well but we have little in common besides DIY skills . We have never "hung out" together...but both of us are both always available to help the other if needed. He lives 20 minutes away, but we only see each other a couple times a month for a family event or to help our parents reno or fix something at their house. He'll be building a house next year and I'll be helping him, so the contact will be ramped up for a while. But, when the house is done we'll revert to the occasional contact that is the norm.

My sister is very difficult...my mother says she's becoming a hoarder (I haven't been to her place in a decade even though she lives 15 minutes away). She's a drama queen, and 90% of what comes out of her mouth is a complaint. It's extremely tiring to be in the same room as her due to her constant negativity.

 

[rbmrtn]

Can't say, I'm an only. Always thought I was missing something without siblings... then maybe not

 

[panacea]

DW and I each have one sibling. She would not remotely qualify as a friend- very different. My brother would not have qualified as a friend for many years but it seems like in the last few years we're growing closer (slightly). We don't go out of our way to contact each other but we get along pretty well now at family gathers. Maybe we're acquaintances now??