A work BS rant, leaving it all behind for good.
Originally I set my retirement date to 1 day after my 55th birthday, in 2014. There was a desparate need for our practice at our secondary site. I negotiated substantial pay increase to fill in that position for a few months.
I posted my retirement year as 2015--I went part time casual at the beginning of last year, filling in a few holes in the schedule. My goal was to "help out" 4-5 days a month and to train my replacement. That never happened. No replacement, always being asked to do more. Refusing most of the time didn't matter to the group.
They replaced a pediatrician with a nurse practitioner, but not just any nurse practitioner but one who started out not very competent then got in a major MVA at the end of her first month. It clearly was about "insert body into schedule slot". The nurse practitioner from our group who wanted the job was refused it, though she was very very good. The duplicity in mid level and upper level management in this company is astounding. So, tired of being asked to do three times as much work as I wanted, and mostly refusing, and with all my friends gone, I have stopped caring about sustaining the practice until they hire enough practitioners. It will never happen.
July 31 is my last day ever "filling in".
There is a point for most of us where we realize that work gets in the way of our life. A part of me realized this the first day I worked after finishing my training. Blessed are those who feel their work is part of who they are. For me it was not a huge part of my identity. What I hold dearest is the arts--music, theater, music, painting, music, literature, music, music , music. That has been the theme that has shown up in my life, over and over again. It's weird to be a doctor and not feel like a doctor. Over and over, music is where I keep coming back to.
I kept waiting for my position to be filled. Never happened. Other people left. No positions filled. Our medical director has two feet into corporate management, one foot in the practice. His job is secure when our practice disappears (talk about comflict of interest) The secretaries/billers long ago knew their jobs of 20+ years would disappear. No one is invested in this practice any longer. The nearby academic center is positioning itself to take this practice over, so nothing bad will happen to the patients.
July 31st will mark the last day I do anything as a physician. It feels very strange, even though my passions are elsewhere. I got accustomed to using the MD title to open doors in the rest of my life. The funny thing is, there are no doors I need opened any longer.
My personal psychological checklist for leaving all medical work forever:
Happy with what I have done and tried to do √
Financial independence √
Kid out of college √
32 year marriage more solid than ever √
Enjoyable paid for home, time to upgrade and update √
Travel plans √
Many musical activities already happening and more to come √
Generally healthy, need to lose weight and exercise more--will happen!
It wasn't OMY syndrome. It was OM month, every month. Never again.
Yay!