ER Retirement plans derailed

[haha]

He did what a lot of men do. Got remarried to someone younger and started a second family.

No doubt about it, this is an attractive idea. I asked myself, is this worth another 20 or so years of work? Part of my thinking apparatus says, sure, man! But in the end I am too lazy.

Congrats to your husband for having the energy to start again.

Mikey

[MRGALT2U]

Hey Mikey. I am too lazy too. Almost fell in love and
"started over" once or twice. Man. I dodged a bullet there!

[Jack]

I'd say the assumptions made routinely about me (that I'm the father and NEVER that I'm the grandpa), are far more flattering!

[MRGALT2U]

Hello Liltime! Well, nothing in my life is more important than my kids. And, as you have noted, I did no planning
whatsoever as far as their post high school education.
When my first 2 graduated from high school, I paid
50% of their total (net) college expenses (after
scholarships, etc). This was back in my peak earning years. My youngest was born in 1984 and her mother
and I divorced in 1998. Unfortunately, when she was
ready for college, I was dragged back into court to see
what could be extorted. Of course, I had planned to
contribute. Alas, the court ordered quite a bit more than I had intended. Anyway, I am reconciled to it now
as my daughter is happy where she is and is doing well,
so I am done fighting over that. As far as my very early
retirement, I don't know what to tell you. It was basically a combination of willpower and brainpower.
I cut way back on my lifestyle and got a bit lucky with
my situation in terms of investments and stuff I owned
which I could turn over for major gains. Real estate
has been good to me. Never in my 60 years made any
real money on common stocks. Owning my own company was very helpful, but I worked night and day to make it successful. The irony is that my former spouse
refused to work when I decided to semiretire in 1993. Now she
works full time and I don't work at all. Poetic justice?

[Liltime]

Yes that is poetic justice! Glad u are enjoying your ER! It helps when you have a partner who is on the same page. As you noted you paid for college when you were in your peak earning years. I will probably still be working when the baby goes to college, my husband will prabably be retired on his horse farm. That's his dream. College is a headache, by the time the kids go the cost will be astronomical! My plan is they go for 2 years at a community college and 2 at a private college. Plan to save for the 2 years at comm. college and half of the private school tuition. BTW I went to a small private college without a dime from anyone. School expenses or living expenses. Survived on lots of Ramen noodles and campus jobs when they were available.
Thanks for the input I value your opinion I have reas many of your posts on other topics. Good to know there is still hope even later if plans get off track. I definitely see real estate as a way to help get to the ER goal.

Liltime

[unclemick]

I too went 2 yrs. JC plus 2yrs. State and was lucky enough to pull lumber on the green chain summers at 'then' good wages.

Me and real estate don't generally get along - but I was a landlord for 15 yrs.(duplex) - didn't get rich but it helped.

One NASA engineer(Huntsville) back in 70's was always improving the house, selling, and buying 'up' to avoid taxes/retain equity. I think he was a no common stocks guy like John Galt. His wife was into buying refurnishing antique furniture.

[Liltime]

john gault, uncle mick really value your opinion,
need help in trying to still ER/FI. Thinking about going solo husband not on track to help us get family in to black. Plan to pursue my goal of law practice through alternative route. Study online at a California law school, only state to allow online study and qualify for the Bar. After 5 years of practice in CA can sit fo the bar in almost any state. At the moment very busy with 5 year old daughter in training to lead in technology or science field and 8 month old son. Tough to be a single mom but plenty of women have done it and have great successful children. Most don't have the goal of ER/FI, they struggle to survive everyday. I can stay in any state while I go through the law program hich takes 4 yrs. The cost is minimal 4K per year vs. 20k per year at traditional school. I believe I would be in a financial hole for 2 years to start all over again alone. Considering doing paralegal work which averages around $40k/year in large metropolitan areas. Would start at a lower rate since i need on the job training ie: entry level. did not go to school for this.

[unclemick]

Romance and finance is a mixture, I will pass on. If you read some of the older posts - you may get an idea of what you are facing if husband and wife on not on the same page ER wise.

Hello! Unclemick is a wise man. Personally, I would love to give advice. However, I feel in many ways I am an example to be avoided (in romance and finance).

Good luck.

John Galt

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I think most of us will have no trouble in avoiding you romantically.

[Nords]

Kinda old but the logic is sound. Read it for your situation and see if it still makes sense. The demographics are against you but your desire may overcome them.

I used to keep a copy in my office for my co-workers who were frustrated and visualizing greener pastures.

Just having the book on the nightstand may start the discussion in a positive direction...

Be careful TH. I am a sensitive guy and my feelings are
easily bruised

John Galt

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I deeply apologize for any harm caused to your delicate sensibilities.

Read it for your situation and see if it still makes sense. The demographics are against you but your desire may overcome them.

Agreed - A problem marriage is a lot like a fire in a building.

First get the fire extinguisher, but when all else fails - get out of the building while you're still alive

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Or better still, follow my method. Stay out of the damn building until you're in your 40's and know better. Most of my friends already had their buildings burn down at least once on them. Its not an experience I feel I missed.

[unclemick]

I've had the same girlfriend for 28 yrs - there's no need to rush these things - a new take on 'compound interest?'

Hey unclemick, take your time. I had a good friend who was with the same lady for a very long time
(although you have him beat) and then finally they
married and are still happily wed as I write. Nice!
It's a tricky business though. I chose marriage over
Viet Nam and never did decide which was more
dangerous.

John Galt

Okay folks, taking my cue from Dave Letterman's
top 10 list, here are the top 3 reasons I was able to
ER (in no particular order). Remember, I did very little
saving/planning until I decided to go. Thus I needed
some pretty significant events to boost me into ER.

1. I liquidated the assets of my small manufacturing company and invested the proceeds.

2. After I semiretired in 1993, I was offered a very good job
which I accepted and kept until my employer wanted
me to go back to full time status.

3. I divorced my compulsively acquisitive and work- averse spouse.

Like I said, even though it worked I could never advise
anyone to follow my path. A little planning but a lot of
luck. Not a sound basis to achieve FIRE status.

John Galt

[Liltime]

Hi Guys,
Lots of interesting comments! It is true the grass always seems greener on the other side. Also having 2 young children at home almost all day and night gets to be stressful. Although we are not on the same page I think I might be able to force my other half into getting on board with th ER plan. He says yes but then does not follow through.