How do you train yourself to endure your last few years before retirement

[ugeauxgirl]

LOL! Merci- oui, je parle francais, mais je n'ecris pas bien. Je suis Cajun. Vous etes Canadian, peut-etre?

Yes, I have thought about my family's financial needs- quitting today would mean we could live on 3% of our liquid net worth, and my husband has no intention of quitting his job. He makes more than enough to support us without my income. I have been doing the exact same job for 20 years and I no longer love it- I no longer even like it, but I allow for the possibility that I might want to do something else. And then again, I might not and I don't think I will have to if I don't want to.

 

[FrugalMcDougal]

Frugal, I can feel your pain through the electrons! You don't give enough details for people to offer advice, because different situations, different temperaments, different timeframes call forth different approaches. Are you working too many hours to have a separate life for yourself? Are your weekends free? I can say for myself that I have a hobby that is more like a passion. It has kept my sanity, brought me friends, and gotten me into the outdoors, which is THE antidote to work madness. What is your hobby? Do you have a family to keep you focused outside of work? Is humor a viable approach for you? Philosophy?

Can you make a 5 year roadmap to retirement? Develop a retirement budget, think about preparatory steps, such as planning a vacation to the area you plan to retire to, consult with a financial planner, start learning a language or a sport? Meditation instead of medication? ( And don't entirely discount cynicism!)

Know too that as the time passes, your anxiety lessens and it becomes easier to get your head above water and make plans. I would be interested in hearing your ideas on getting through the next years.

Where to start...

I am in a job that is high pressure and consists of heavy travel, which I don't generally mind. My friends have stopped calling (LOL) because they know I'm never around except weekends, and that is spent playing catch up around the house and spending time with my boyfriend of 9 years. My quality of life outside work is not great because I can never plan. When I do, then an emergency call, meeting, trip, etc. is scheduled and there is no question about if I should attend. I live my life for my pitiful 3 weeks annual vacation, and even then, if it's stateside- I do some work. I am very lucky in that I have zero debt and make a significant salary. I save about half of gross wages each year and should be easily able to live 2 years retirement for every year of savings. I work with my Vanguard advisor and FIRECALC- so I feel confident. I have no children to support. Neither does my boyfriend. We intend to marry and coexist when he retires in 4.5 years (I'll need his healthcare ). He is a few years older than I (6) and was actually eligible for his pension nearly 2 years ago, but he is working to increase his multiplier. My problem isn't so much the job- it's me. I'm tired of corporate America. I'm tired of not being able to plan. I want a life of travel, adventure, and experiences with those I love. I could have all that tomorrow if I could get my BF to retire and we downsized our two homes into something smaller. I feel like I am not fulfilling my purpose. I fantasize about volunteer work in other parts of the world. I fantasize about taking a modest position teaching English in China and traveling the world. This is all possible- but the BF is not ready to pull the plug. Sure, I could take a job that has no travel and less hours, but then I couldn't save all that I'm saving today- and the bottom line is, I just really don't want to work more than part time. I don't think changing jobs is the answer. The real solution is getting the BF to retire. LOL. And he can afford to- the difference is he likes his job and as a teacher, has a lot of time off to decompress, plan, travel. So, I continue to fantasize about that old company selling and further padding my nest egg, counting down the days to BFs retirement, hoping that delaying our retirement isn't the wrong thing to do (I'm in healthcare- I've watched too many people die while putting off retirement because they just weren't ready).

 

[Options]

I'm always saddened to hear about folks who are unhappy doing whatever it is they are doing to support themselves. Most of us have to do something to earn a living. For many, this is not misery. For others, they're unhappy and mostly spend their precious hours on earth wishing their lives away.

What's sad is not that people are unhappy, it's that they've bought into the traditional view of working in organizations only to run smack into a brick wall (as in ouch, that hurts!). The whole "follow your passion" thing works until it doesn't. You're only "free from misery" until the organization gets sold, merges, or closes down, the colleague from hell becomes one of your stakeholders, your favorite boss or boss's boss or boss's boss's boss's boss leaves and is replaced by Satan. Or you experience the joy of one or more layoffs (perhaps right around the holidays), you become ensnared in politics you want no part of, or become mired in some Frankenstein change initiative that everyone below 3C knows in advance will fail. And even if it is successful, the odds that Frankenstein Lives! are only good until the next economic downturn (when a new crap shoot "strategy" is then created/implemented by your fearless "leadership").

Welcome to reality: you've been working in quicksand and you didn't even know it.

I agree with all those who say it's important for our young folks to learn about finances and putting together resources to support themselves when they no longer want to or just plain can't. But it seems just as important for career beginners to position themselves so they aren't totally subjected to the whims of employers, that they have choices and that they generally enjoy the hours they spend bringing home the bacon.

You have to understand the major extent to which the world of work has radically changed in our lifetimes. Did you see the very recent study showing that all jobs created between 2005-2015 were temporary in nature? What does this portend for individual security, fulfillment, stability? Is it no wonder studies show most millennials want no part of traditional employment? Good for them!

Can you possibly find an alternative to what you're doing now? Or have you painted yourself into a corner and absolutely must grind it out despite your pain and dissatisfaction?

For OP (and others near retirement), it's a different ballgame entirely and it's imperative to remember what's at stake. There is so much to learn to have a successful quantitative/qualitative retirement. Single-minded focus on the wildly important idea of creating a retirement that succeeds will automatically crowd out 90% or more of useless organizational "noise" while keeping it from getting into your head (where it does not belong!).

Finally, another way to help endure the final lap toward retirement is to "remember the people involved." Find people you like in the organization to hang out with. Trade soulless organizational engagement for the fabric and texture only relationships can bring. This will provide wind on your back to get you to the finish line.

 

[truenorth418]

This is a great thread and what a great and relevant question! I have been retired 5 years and I don't think about work much anymore. But as best I can recall I muddled through the last few years by
1- eyes on the prize. I had a financial plan to get me to ER and I checked it everyday, ran numbers and scenarios. Focusing on the end game and the art of the possible made the reality of the horrible work environment a little more palatable.

2- enjoyed spending time with the several people at the office who I genuinely liked, had lunches with them, and also enjoyed mentoring some the younger,junior executives

3- tried to be a good actor. As I approached the office every morning I imagined myself as an actor going on stage in a Broadway play. In this way, my work life was not a reality but an imaginary setting and I was merely improvising my way through a show.

4- watched "the shawshank redemption". For me, work was a prison and the people running the joint were like the evil prison warden in that movie. I imagined myself as the Tim Robbins character, suffering countless indignities - while secretly putting my escape plan together. And when the time came I activated the plan and escaped to freedom on my terms- just as you will do.

 

[Pellice]

Where to start...

The real solution is getting the BF to retire.

Frugal, it seems that you do have several paths to consider, since you say you are in a position to retire "now" if BF would join you. I take it that marrying BF now and downsizing now are not an option (whether you are working PT or not). But you sound so ready to go - and it does not seem a position where mind games would work for you (unlike me) - because you are so far from the goal. Can you cut your years in half - that would make it much more bearable. Can you cut your active years in half and THEN transition to the lower paying, fewer hours option - and view that as your pre-retirement planning stage? You said you had weekends free, mostly. Is there a way to make them freer? Household cleaning help once every two weeks? Carve out a two hour special space for getting outdoors (my regular nostrum) or pursuing a special interest - maybe researching your annual vacation - once a weekend? Good luck!

 

[FrugalMcDougal]

Frugal, it seems that you do have several paths to consider, since you say you are in a position to retire "now" if BF would join you. I take it that marrying BF now and downsizing now are not an option (whether you are working PT or not). But you sound so ready to go - and it does not seem a position where mind games would work for you (unlike me) - because you are so far from the goal. Can you cut your years in half - that would make it much more bearable. Can you cut your active years in half and THEN transition to the lower paying, fewer hours option - and view that as your pre-retirement planning stage? You said you had weekends free, mostly. Is there a way to make them freer? Household cleaning help once every two weeks? Carve out a two hour special space for getting outdoors (my regular nostrum) or pursuing a special interest - maybe researching your annual vacation - once a weekend? Good luck!

Thank you! I'll keep you posted. I'm just lucky to be in this position at all. Many will never have the option to retire early, if at all. Happy New Year.

 

[CDRE]

Does anyone have a recommendation for a book(s) that help train yourself?

 

[REWahoo]

Does anyone have a recommendation for a book(s) that help train yourself?

The Ultimate Bar Book: The Comprehensive Guide to Over 1,000 Cocktails

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I found "Slowing Down to the Speed of Life" very helpful, but the helpful ideas are buried in lots of psychobabble.

 

[TGL405]

The Ultimate Bar Book: The Comprehensive Guide to Over 1,000 Cocktails

Good one. Maybe it will help.
I'm one who has also decided to wait through an additional year to ER and at times find it difficult to focus on work, especially on Monday mornings after re-running retirement calculations over the weekend (still searching for the missing piece that will confirm that I can go ahead of schedule). But Monday morning after things start getting involved you somehow melt back into the old work routine like before. When time permits, I have started to do little things "under the radar" in preparation for the end like taking home some small personal items, cleaning out some older files and emails. I have also made small reminder notes to myself like the little BS bucket on my whiteboard and the milestone indicators on my calendar as I get through one more quarter. Nobody else knows what these things mean but it seems to help me deal with it in some strange way.
I had replaced the previous boss when he retired and he pretty much just "checked out" a year before he was gone and folks still talk about how he was totally disengaged for that period. I totally understand how stressful things get and how easy it would be to do that, but I told myself I don't want to leave that way. I believe my regional people still need a responsible advocate to keep things moving in the right direction because they are much younger and will be there awhile yet.
So my plan is to stay under the radar until about July, then tell my people about it first. Between now and then I will just try to maintain a good attitude and treat my people well, getting satisfaction from knowing this is the last time I will have to prepare a budget, conduct employee evaluations, etc, and knowing I have better things ahead.

 

[tcaron20]

I am so surprised to see so many pre-retirees are dealing wi the same situation as mine. I work for a community bank where the CEO just announced his retirement. Although he told the board that he will work until the end of 2017 he has really already left in his mind and rarely comes to work.

The younger staff members are now wondering where their careers stand, etc.

I am close to retirement at 64 but still have about a year to go. Really tough seeing the worry on the staff's faces.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

I found that doing some daydreaming during meetings about what I would most likely be doing at that time and on that day of the week once I am retired had almost medicinal properties. Looking around the room at the guy whose leg under the table is vibrating from stress a hundred times a minute, the woman who keeps yawning from overwork and fatigue, and others who have seemingly resigned themselves to a really long string of crappy days, and thinking, "soon this too shall pass and I will escape to the land of my dreams" saved me often.

When I got to only one year left, then I had fun reminding myself of things like, this is the last annual review and planning meeting, the last holiday party, or the last staff evals I had to do, etc. were fantastic motivators to stay the course until the goal was reached.

On a more practical level I installed an IOS app that let me count down the days until my major event (FIRE). As significant numbers (e.g., 365 or 200, then 100) arrived, my wife and I would go out for a special dinner or a nice drink together and I would snap a photo of us. I would use this as the cover photo for the app, changing it only when the next milestone arose. This helped enormously, because sometimes I would just glance at the app at work, note the days left, and then walk around for 10 minutes smiling "baby wide" to the puzzlement of many.

-BB

 

[Milton]

I work for a community bank where the CEO just announced his retirement. Although he told the board that he will [-]work[/-] remain on the payroll until the end of 2017 he has really already left in his mind and rarely comes to work.

Fixed!

It's funny how when mid or low ranked employees put in less than a 100% effort at work they are "stealing time", but it is quite acceptable when a CEO does it. Related question: if sky-high pay for CEOs is warranted by the exhaustive nature of their employment, how is it that so many find the time to serve on other corporations' boards?

 

[exnavynuke]

Fixed!

It's funny how when mid or low ranked employees put in less than a 100% effort at work they are "stealing time", but it is quite acceptable when a CEO does it. Related question: if sky-high pay for CEOs is warranted by the exhaustive nature of their employment, how is it that so many find the time to serve on other corporations' boards?

IMO, "sky high pay" is warranted based on the rarity of their ability/education/experience combination coupled with the level of responsibility associated with the position they are in, not their number of hours needed to be worked.

 

[Mdlerth]

IMO, "sky high pay" is warranted based on the rarity of their ability/education/experience combination coupled with the level of responsibility associated with the position they are in, not their number of hours needed to be worked.

IMO, "sky high pay" has absolutely nothing to do with being in a position to fire the people who decide one's compensation. No correlation there at all. Uh uh.

 

[Milton]

IMO, "sky high pay" is warranted based on the rarity of their ability/education/experience combination coupled with the level of responsibility associated with the position they are in, not their number of hours needed to be worked.

I don't want to high jack the thread, but will briefly respond:

1) There is nothing particularly rare about the typical CEO's ability, education or experience. There are plenty of able, hardworking, and seasoned business executives available (both with and without MBAs);

2) The average CEO has less personal responsibility / accountability than the average employee:

(i) CEOs have at least one year's 'honeymoon period' following their appointment, during which they can blame everything on their immediate predecessors. And during this period, boards are very reluctant to fire a CEO lest they look incompetent for picking the wrong person;

(ii) CEOs are able to more or less plausibly blame their companies' poor performance on various factors outside their control, e.g. the economy, government regulation, social activists, labour unrest, etc. etc.;

(iiii) finally, CEOs invariably have employment contracts that guarantee them massive 'golden handshakes' if they are dismissed for poor performance.

 

[street]

The company I worked for asked me to give them one year notice when I decided to retire. I had no problem with that and that is what I did give. So I had one year to think about a lot of things and had a lot of time to plan for my future. It also was a long time to stay motivated but the time went fast and I did a lot of work with the guy that took my job. Stay focused and clean up some of the things you know that has to get done and don't start any big projects.

 

[Markola]

I am so surprised to see so many pre-retirees are dealing wi the same situation as mine. I work for a community bank where the CEO just announced his retirement. Although he told the board that he will work until the end of 2017 he has really already left in his mind and rarely comes to work.

The younger staff members are now wondering where their careers stand, etc.

I am close to retirement at 64 but still have about a year to go. Really tough seeing the worry on the staff's faces.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

This is an actual sentence in an email going around my office, which has folks chuckling:

"We are happy to announce that Jack _____, our Vice President of Investments, is retiring. We know many of you have enjoyed getting to know Jack during his time here and join us in wishing him well."

 

[FrugalMcDougal]

I don't want to high jack the thread, but will briefly respond:

1) There is nothing particularly rare about the typical CEO's ability, education or experience. There are plenty of able, hardworking, and seasoned business executives available (both with and without MBAs);

2) The average CEO has less personal responsibility / accountability than the average employee:

(i) CEOs have at least one year's 'honeymoon period' following their appointment, during which they can blame everything on their immediate predecessors. And during this period, boards are very reluctant to fire a CEO lest they look incompetent for picking the wrong person;

(ii) CEOs are able to more or less plausibly blame their companies' poor performance on various factors outside their control, e.g. the economy, government regulation, social activists, labour unrest, etc. etc.;

(iiii) finally, CEOs invariably have employment contracts that guarantee them massive 'golden handshakes' if they are dismissed for poor performance.

Bravo! Couldn't have said it better

 

[CDRE]

Although the REWahoo recommend "Ultimate Bar Book" may help, I'm afraid that when I get to the end of 1,000 drinks, that may not be enough.

So using the DuckDuckGo search engine, I found a free PDF copy of the ugeauxgirl recommended book "Slowing Down to the Speed of Life". It's a decent book that I think may help. Thanks ugeauxgirl! The book seems to have a tone of using mindfulness. That led me to the book "Full Catastrophe Living" which has much more detail about mindfulness and training yourself to deal with stress. Got a lot left to read.

Now let me mix up a drink and turn the page.

 

[FrugalMcDougal]

Although the REWahoo recommend "Ultimate Bar Book" may help, I'm afraid that when I get to the end of 1,000 drinks, that may not be enough.

So using the DuckDuckGo search engine, I found a free PDF copy of the ugeauxgirl recommended book "Slowing Down to the Speed of Life". It's a decent book that I think may help. Thanks ugeauxgirl! The book seems to have a tone of using mindfulness. That led me to the book "Full Catastrophe Living" which has much more detail about mindfulness and training yourself to deal with stress. Got a lot left to read.

Now let me mix up a drink and turn the page.

Love it! I'm goanna find that book. Glasses up!!

 

[COcheesehead]

Bravo! Couldn't have said it better

Popular, but uniformed opinion.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

Although the REWahoo recommend "Ultimate Bar Book" may help, I'm afraid that when I get to the end of 1,000 drinks, that may not be enough.

So using the DuckDuckGo search engine, I found a free PDF copy of the ugeauxgirl recommended book "Slowing Down to the Speed of Life". It's a decent book that I think may help. Thanks ugeauxgirl! The book seems to have a tone of using mindfulness. That led me to the book "Full Catastrophe Living" which has much more detail about mindfulness and training yourself to deal with stress. Got a lot left to read.

Now let me mix up a drink and turn the page.

Insight Timer (app) was a big help to me too- I have ADHD which makes it really hard to meditate, but starting with guided meditations on the free app really helped. I really tried to read "Full Catastrophe Living" but could not get through it.

 

[gamboolman]

This is great topic and thread - especially since I am aiming towards retiring at the end of 2019 when I will be 60 years old and my wife will be 58. She is already retired.

The posts here are all good and I agree with so much that has been said - it really helps to know that I am not unusual to be thinking of FIRE alot and am so ready to be free to live life as my wife and I choose.

This has really hit home the last couple of years as most of the men I have worked with the last 40 years have already retired. And unfortunately the last 3 or 4 years quite a few have had serious medical issues - the life changing kind, or have passed away.

I work for mega oil corp, and we live overseas. Job is very high stress, around the clock tied to cell phones and pooters and the oilfield is 24/7 so every day is a work day. I have done it all my life and the oilfield has been good to us - but it is all consuming - especially overseas living in a compound that we cannot leave due to security issues.

One work friend / colleague who was planning to retire this year - just had a serious life changing medical / health issue. That really hit home to me.

And just yesterday, I was trying to contact a colleague to consult on a technical issue who I worked with for years in another countries affiliate and was sad to hear he had passed away.

And there's several more who have died right in the home stretch.

For my wife and I - we are just being patient. We know that it is not too far off that we will be living on the lake and we can be fishing, hunting, gardening, family time, ......all the good stuff .....

Thanks to this forum for all of the good advice and for having a place to visit and read/share with other folks who are at similar stages of life and career.

 

[FrugalMcDougal]

This is great topic and thread - especially since I am aiming towards retiring at the end of 2019 when I will be 60 years old and my wife will be 58. She is already retired.

The posts here are all good and I agree with so much that has been said - it really helps to know that I am not unusual to be thinking of FIRE alot and am so ready to be free to live life as my wife and I choose.

This has really hit home the last couple of years as most of the men I have worked with the last 40 years have already retired. And unfortunately the last 3 or 4 years quite a few have had serious medical issues - the life changing kind, or have passed away.

I work for mega oil corp, and we live overseas. Job is very high stress, around the clock tied to cell phones and pooters and the oilfield is 24/7 so every day is a work day. I have done it all my life and the oilfield has been good to us - but it is all consuming - especially overseas living in a compound that we cannot leave due to security issues.

One work friend / colleague who was planning to retire this year - just had a serious life changing medical / health issue. That really hit home to me.

And just yesterday, I was trying to contact a colleague to consult on a technical issue who I worked with for years in another countries affiliate and was sad to hear he had passed away.

And there's several more who have died right in the home stretch.

For my wife and I - we are just being patient. We know that it is not too far off that we will be living on the lake and we can be fishing, hunting, gardening, family time, ......all the good stuff .....

Thanks to this forum for all of the good advice and for having a place to visit and read/share with other folks who are at similar stages of life and career.

You are so close! Eyes on the prize! I just loaded my retirement countdown app on my phone this week. Am really enjoying taking a peak at it this morning. You are so right about illness and death sending home the message that we don't have forever, and tomorrow isn't promised. I've lost 2 family members and a friend since New Years.

Best of luck to you and your wife! You are on the home stretch.