Miserable working, what should I do

[Cobra9777]

I had a few "nowhere careers" in my early 20s. My undergrad was in a fine arts field that interests me greatly but had little-to-no career potential. So I ended up in various retail and restaurant management positions that I hated. At 26, while still working 35-40 hours per week at a restaurant, I went back for an MBA, got hired by Megacorp 2 years later, and retired 24 years after that at age 52.

It's never too late to reinvent yourself, especially at 21. It doesn't have to be college or business, but it's important to be something that you know will be interesting and fun. I was always quite shy as well, although not to the point of social anxiety. Public speaking terrified me. But at Megacorp, I eventually became quite good at it and even enjoyed it. Change for the better comes naturally once you get outside your comfort zone.

 

[ocean view]

Have you considered using a career counselor? At one point in my career the job market in my field was bleak and I was miserable at my employer. I had a few sessions with an employment counselor to find out how my skill set could translate to a new field. I took all sorts of assessments to identify the perfect fit. I did not end up changing careers, but it did help me focus on what parts I enjoyed and what I didn't. It was maybe $500, a worthwhile investment.

You probably have more skills than just welding, you might need some help to identify them.

 

[wrigley]

Join the Navy. problem solved!

Not as easy as it used to be! Lots of people thought they could just join the branch of service of their liking when the job market got real tight. All branches of the military have gotten very selective with who they choose. Back when I joined (1977), I was in boot camp with guys that were there because the judge gave them a choice between the military or jail. Not any longer!

Mike

 

[Senator]

It's called work for a reason. Most people do not jump out of bed every morning to go put in their hours... but we do it anyway. I suggest you find a way to like it better because you are a long way from FIRE. Good luck to you.

That is exactly why they call it work, not fun. I suggest a different job, one that may be better. Joining the military might give the discipline that you need to succeed. That would give you the most choices in life.

You can marry rich, and not have to work. Finding someone to marry you might be difficult, but you are young. Whether you are male or female, it could work depending on how choosy you are. That would give you lots of choices, but you choices would still be somewhat limited.

If you start a family, there are numerous programs and benefits for families with children that enable the parents to stay home and not work. Having at least two children is ideal. Plan on at least two more as those first children reach adulthood. Getting married may kill off many of the benefits, so make sure you avoid that. That would cover your housing, food, healthcare and many other freebies. You would have a much less choices, but you would have a roof over your head, and not starve.

I know I had renters that never worked a day in their life, and they had plenty of money for almost everything they wanted to do. They just learned how to enjoy simple things in life, like sleeping until noon.

 

[Walt34]

Join the Navy. problem solved!

Not as easy as it used to be! Lots of people thought they could just join the branch of service of their liking when the job market got real tight. All branches of the military have gotten very selective with who they choose.

Indeed this is true, at least in this area. A young lady we know wanted to go in the Navy Reserves and they wouldn't even talk to her until she finished at least an AA degree. What she really wanted was active duty but the best she could do was get in the Reserves and that was a stepping stone to active duty. IIRC it took almost two years for her to get in active duty.

That said, if going in the military is something OP would consider, talk to a recruiter and see what they're looking for, for some skill sets they may not need to have an AA degree.

 

[Texas Proud]

I think OP checked out.... still only 1 post...

Might not like what he is reading....

 

[jimbob40]

I was a welder for a good 20 years before I expanded my trade and went into pipefitting and plumbing. I always enjoyed my job as a welder but I always wanted to be the best so over the years I added credentials like certifying on pipe in all positions, stainless steel and aluminum and got into heli arc and tug welding and certainly there too. Later started welding heater coils with silver and copper soldering which let to other job opportunities. I then went on and got state licensed for plumbing contractor and started a side company. All this to say, even though your company may not require you to add credentials it will help you greatly and expose you to more opportunities. At first the only benefit to a new credential would be merely bragging rights or just really brought up in conversations with co workers. This info will get back to management believe me. I told one person after I became state certified and the next week our superintendent sought me out to shake my hand and congratulate me. It shored up my confidence while letting those around me at work know that I wanted to excel. My dad and I both made a great living in the trades. Now I'm 56 and retired and will beheaded to my cottage to fish for the next couple of weeks. Good luck. I hope this helps.

 

[RunningBum]

I think OP checked out.... still only 1 post...

Might not like what he is reading....

OP has not even logged in since he posted, doubt he even read anything. Maybe another bot?

 

[Meadbh]

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I suspect this post is coming from a bot or spammer. First and only post, username Iwantfire, despite being only 21.

If you are real, Iwantfire, .....

OP has not even logged in since he posted, doubt he even read anything. Maybe another bot?

My bets are on the bot.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Maybe OP realized he could wear this shirt if he sticks with welding: https://teespring.com/shop/miserable-weld-bmh-ss2#pid=212&cid=5819&sid=front

 

[ER Eddie]

Yikes! Some of these responses are a bit harsh.

I agree. Jesus, people.

To the OP: You're obviously very unhappy in your work. Can you train for another line of work? Or is it the workplace itself, and maybe you'd be happy welding somewhere else? Do you have any sense of what you might find interesting? Work does not (should not) be miserable. It's a matter of finding out where your strengths and interest lie, and lining them up with the job market. Maybe you could find something that paid less but you enjoyed more. I don't know, I'm just fishing, because I don't know your situation. But you need to make a change in your work environment, that much is clear. Just having a goal will help.

Overcoming shyness and social anxiety is mostly a matter of facing your fears and learning the skills needed to deal with people. There are all kinds of ways to do that -- books, online discussion groups, internet searches, etc., are a good place to begin, if you don't have any ideas. Good luck. I suffered with social anxiety for a long time, too, but overcame it with a lot of patient work. It takes time. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Travelfreek]

read a book or two to overcome the shyness/anxiety

There's a lot of self help books out there to help you overcome shyness or anxiety. A lot of us older folks (I'm 61 now) were shy in our teens and early 20's but slowly overcame it. If you google books to help you overcome it, you'll begin to flourish. I remember hating different jobs at different times and had to hang in there before moving on. I was a clerk in a production line type of environment for a few years (i hated that job) and then became a secretary after passing a stenography exam (old days). Then as a secretary I felt stuck w/ lower pay). I finally got an opportunity for a temporary assignment as an analyst and that became permanent with a raise in pay and became my occupation for the next 21 years where I was happy. I could manage my own time and workload. I didn't like the production line because it didn't require my brain. I was all set to quit and work as a waitress at night while pursuing a bachelor's degree during the day. Instead, I passed the exam that would promote me to the secretary job. From there, I had more autonomy and was promoted to Exec Secretary.

Being a welder will not likely help with your shyness problem. It seems to me you want to become a little more social so it doesn't cause you anxiety. Going to a counselor (licensed) may be a great investment for you to start down a road of happiness. You are so young and have so much to explore and enjoy and develop. I applaud you for your honesty. Another idea is to read a book called Strength Finder 2.0. It helps you determine what your strengths are and how they can be applied to occupations.

 

[CoolRich59]

... I work as a welder. Im absolutely miserable everyday at my job. I hate it so much that I spend most of my time at home dreading going back to work. I guess I hate being there all day and being bored.

Assuming this is a legit post and not coming from a troll, my question is: Do you dislike being a welder? Or, dislike where you work/the people you work with? Or, dislike being around people at all?

If you dislike being a welder, then the answer is to find a different profession.

If you dislike your work or the people there, then the answer is to find a different welding job.

If you dislike being around people, then I'd say the answer is to find a welding job that doesn't require much time with people. But, I have no idea whether that's even realistic. If it isn't, I'd suggest finding some kind of work-at-home vocation.

All that being said, there's some good advice above about getting help if you truly do have some kind of social anxiety or other disorder/phobia.

 

[kitesurfer2]

op is a really crappy welder I suspect. at 21, I doubt seriously that he has any skill. as far as joining the navy...I thought someone would have picked up on the sarcasm.

 

[braumeister]

Then there's the fact that this was a drive-by posting. The OP, most likely a troll, hasn't been back since then.

 

[friar1610]

Join the Navy. problem solved!

Yeah....if he doesn't like being around other people he'll absolutely love living in a berthing compartment on a destroyer!

 

[cooch96]

Yikes! Some of these responses are a bit harsh.

Yes, a lot of people don't like working, but I have had jobs that I actually liked. It took me several tries to find one I liked, though. I have been miserable at some jobs and there have been some that I liked more than others. You have many years of work ahead of you, so just saying that you should suck it up and be miserable probably isn't the best path. It also may not be necessary. Try to identify what you're good at and what you like and dislike about your job and other potential jobs and see if there is a potential alternative career for you to explore. It may just require tweaking what you're already doing. As an introvert myself, I can see how it might be hard for you to talk to other people about careers, but it's worth the effort.

In the meantime, planning for ER will not only lift your spirits, but be financially productive. It might make you feel better to plot out financial plans for the next decades to get to ER. (I think $20,000 is great for someone your age. I was in debt at that age.) Spend some time learning here and reading books. Just make sure you aren't totally giving up the present for the future.

+1

 

[weino7]

If you have not proved yourself as the best 21-year old welder on the floor, demonstrated by recognition from supervisors and peers, there's no need for counseling. Another post recommended the Navy, a great option. Before bailing on a great, FIRE building skill, try welding through your anger and gain that recognition from others in the same field. When it comes, explore options with a mentor, because I can (almost) guarantee a few things: you chose welding for all the right reasons; you have the maturity and discipline to achieve FIRE despite the funk of your current situation; if you leave welding without having pushed yourself through, you will return to it in the future, perhaps as a side-hustle; nothing you switch to away from welding will get you to FIRE sooner; and, if you add specifics to your quest for FIRE, this crew will help you sort through the funk. Hit the gym, burn off the negativity, and ramp up your focus to FIRE - you've got this!

 

[FIREmenow]

If you have not proved yourself as the best 21-year old welder on the floor, demonstrated by recognition from supervisors and peers, there's no need for counseling. Another post recommended the Navy, a great option. Before bailing on a great, FIRE building skill, try welding through your anger and gain that recognition from others in the same field. When it comes, explore options with a mentor, because I can (almost) guarantee a few things: you chose welding for all the right reasons; you have the maturity and discipline to achieve FIRE despite the funk of your current situation; if you leave welding without having pushed yourself through, you will return to it in the future, perhaps as a side-hustle; nothing you switch to away from welding will get you to FIRE sooner; and, if you add specifics to your quest for FIRE, this crew will help you sort through the funk. Hit the gym, burn off the negativity, and ramp up your focus to FIRE - you've got this!

WOW! Where were you when I was 26?
Nicely done.

 

[Meadbh]

If you have not proved yourself as the best 21-year old welder on the floor, demonstrated by recognition from supervisors and peers, there's no need for counseling. Another post recommended the Navy, a great option. Before bailing on a great, FIRE building skill, try welding through your anger and gain that recognition from others in the same field. When it comes, explore options with a mentor, because I can (almost) guarantee a few things: you chose welding for all the right reasons; you have the maturity and discipline to achieve FIRE despite the funk of your current situation; if you leave welding without having pushed yourself through, you will return to it in the future, perhaps as a side-hustle; nothing you switch to away from welding will get you to FIRE sooner; and, if you add specifics to your quest for FIRE, this crew will help you sort through the funk. Hit the gym, burn off the negativity, and ramp up your focus to FIRE - you've got this!

Interesting first post, weino7! Now can you head over to "Hi, I am...." and introduce yourself?

Hello?

Hello?

 

[weino7]

Ok, next post. New to this so who am I responding to?

 

[RunningBum]

try welding through your anger

More, please! I don't know if you're for real, but I'm entertained! Nothing wrong with the post...just entertaining to me!

 

[Walt34]

Ok, next post. New to this so who am I responding to?

You'd be responding to the first post in this thread:

http://www.early-retirement.org/for...you-introduce-yourself-65548.html#post1293567

 

[RunningBum]

Ok, next post. New to this so who am I responding to?

Well, your first post was either to a bot or a spammer, or someone so discouraged they haven't even logged back in to view the responses. But please feel free to stick around.

The suggestion was to start a new thread in Hi, I am... - Early Retirement & Financial Independence Community to introduce yourself.

 

[weino7]

So I shot my wad on a bot? Hmmm, not bad.