Join Early Retirement Today
View Poll Results: Do you or do you not have children? Poll
Never wanted kids, have no kids 59 37.82%
Never wanted kids, but, surprise! had kids 2 1.28%
Wanted kids and had one 23 14.74%
Wanted kids and had two 48 30.77%
Wanted kids and had three 15 9.62%
Wanted kids..but had too many (over 3)! 4 2.56%
No kids of my own but mate did have young (-18) kids 1 0.64%
No kids of my own and mate's kids are out of the house 4 2.56%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 156. You may not vote on this poll

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-23-2009, 07:07 AM   #141
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Wow...this old thread brought back to life reminds me how much I miss Marquette.
__________________

__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline  
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-23-2009, 09:46 AM   #142
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Not surprising that the largest percentage of respondents had no kids. I guess the secret to ER is not to have kids...oh well............TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________

__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 10:53 AM   #143
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Denver
Posts: 170
I don't like babies but I adore all kids over the age of two. That said, my husband and I decided no kids as the route for us. No biological urge for either of us.

Speaking of which, I am pretty sure I would never have been born if my grandmother had access to any form of birth control so I know I come by the lack of maternal instinct naturally (mother had me to make up for her own rotten childhood and lack of love).
__________________
Caoineag is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 12:11 PM   #144
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caoineag View Post
Speaking of which, I am pretty sure I would never have been born if my grandmother had access to any form of birth control so I know I come by the lack of maternal instinct naturally (mother had me to make up for her own rotten childhood and lack of love).
There's no owner's manual for kids, instinct is learned.......

I do believe that having children has delayed FIRE by at least 10 years, but i would not trade them for all the money in the world........

My family is VERY SMALL. If I would not have had sons, our family name would have been lost after my generation.........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 12:30 PM   #145
Moderator Emeritus
Martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,212
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
There's no owner's manual for kids, instinct is learned.......

I do believe that having children has delayed FIRE by at least 10 years, but i would not trade them for all the money in the world........

My family is VERY SMALL. If I would not have had sons, our family name would have been lost after my generation.........
My mother's family name ended with my generation. Matriarchy didn't rule and all the women took their spouse's names. Or never had kids.

My family name is now just a bit of evidence that once a male line of my family was from Norway.

I used to put more significance to my last name than I do now. When I married I kept my name. It was the women's lib thing to do and I didn't marry until my 30s, after living with my spouse for years. If I was young again I probably chose to share a name with my spouse. Off and on it has been inconvenient to have different name. And if you have kids it is nice to share one last name in the family, but otherwise, it just doesn't matter to me any more.

As far as having kids, I believe that most all of us rationalize whatever happened (kids, no kids) as being the best. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
__________________
.


No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

Martha is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 12:54 PM   #146
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 530
I never had the urge to have kids. Friends kept assuring me that the "maternal instinct" was going to kick in, probably in my 30's, but it just didn't. Some of this may have been due to the fact that I divorced in my early 30's so just wasn't in a position to have kids at the right time.

I'm sure that not having them helped me to retire early.
__________________
ksr is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 01:01 PM   #147
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
I do believe that having children has delayed FIRE by at least 10 years, but i would not trade them for all the money in the world........
People have told me all my life about their kids...."I wouldn't take a million dollars for the ones I have, but I wouldn't give a nickel for another one!"
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 01:13 PM   #148
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha View Post
As far as having kids, I believe that most all of us rationalize whatever happened (kids, no kids) as being the best. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I'm not trying to rationalize anything as being the best. I never thought I would have children but can't imagine my life now without them.

If something ever happened to DW, she would still live on not only in my mind but in my kids, as I see it. When my sister died, it was quite traumatic for me. However, my youngest exhibits almost "to a T" her personailty. So, my sister lives on in my youngest son..........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 01:31 PM   #149
Full time employment: Posting here.
ProspectiveBum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SoCal
Posts: 667
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
People have told me all my life about their kids...."I wouldn't take a million dollars for the ones I have, but I wouldn't give a nickel for another one!"
That about sums it up!
__________________
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
- Joe Walsh
ProspectiveBum is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 02:17 PM   #150
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
People have told me all my life about their kids...."I wouldn't take a million dollars for the ones I have, but I wouldn't give a nickel for another one!"
Hopefully, those folks are not foster parents..........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 02:42 PM   #151
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
Not surprising that the largest percentage of respondents had no kids. I guess the secret to ER is not to have kids...oh well............TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, I thought roughly 58% of respondents wanted kids and actually had kids? So maybe having kids does encourage FIRE after all...
__________________
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (5, 11, and 12).
FUEGO is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 06:24 PM   #152
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
kyounge1956's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,171
I probably would have had one or two if I had ever married, but I never did, so I didn't.
__________________
kyounge1956 is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 06:45 PM   #153
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,403
I joined the forum after the poll already closed, hence did not get to cast my vote.

We wanted 2 kids, a daughter and a son, and were fortunate to get exactly that. We were old-fashioned people who could not see ourselves not having children. However, having raised children, we also understand how some people chose not to have kids. We would not make a big deal or chide anyone for making that choice.

The above said, I will say that our children were a joy to have. As youngsters, they were well-behaved, and we were on occasions complimented by strangers in public places for their behavior. It was only during my daughter's rebellious teenage years that she caused us so much grief, and for a while we really wondered how she would turn out. She is now almost 24, been working full-time while finishing up her Business degree in Accounting, and will be graduating this December.

It looks like my children will be turning into responsible adults and productive and happy citizens. It was all we hoped for, and did not expect them to be famous or rich. Simple as it is, there is absolutely no guarantee that one's offspring would even attain that. Don't we all know someone's kid who ends up in jail? You raise them the best you know how, but kids have their own mind.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky
NW-Bound is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 07:33 PM   #154
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
saluki9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,032
Quote:
Originally Posted by saluki9 View Post
What about no kids yet? The poll needs that option.
First one coming very soon.
__________________
saluki9 is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 08:29 PM   #155
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
youbet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 9,965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha View Post
As far as having kids, I believe that most all of us rationalize whatever happened (kids, no kids) as being the best. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Spoken with wisdom. And I'd take that one further and say that most all of us rationalize most things in our lives as being the best........
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
youbet is offline  
Old 11-24-2009, 02:26 PM   #156
Recycles dryer sheets
e86s54's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha View Post
As far as having kids, I believe that most all of us rationalize whatever happened (kids, no kids) as being the best. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Except for the fact that people who have not had any kids are not speaking from experience. Us who have, did not have kids at one time so generally remember that part of our lives.

My 2 kids (16 & 13) are the best parts of my full life. We are a very close family and the best parts of my day is at the dinner table when we all get to talk about our days. We have traveled extensively together since they were very young continue to and can't imagine going somewhere without them. It's the best and we all look forward to it twice a year. Both are great people, smart, funny, confident, athletic and they add so much to my life.

I occasionally have a weird dream (or perhaps a strange nightmare) where I am kinda back to square one...no wife and kids, but the same age and still retain all my worldly goods. It's a huge empty feeling!

So sure if you don't have kids you'll have more money and time...but to do what? Hobbies?!

E86S54

BTW...I'm in my mid-40's and plan to retire in a couple of years...to spend more time with my family.
__________________
e86s54 is offline  
Old 11-24-2009, 02:32 PM   #157
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by youbet View Post
Spoken with wisdom. And I'd take that one further and say that most all of us rationalize most things in our lives as being the best........
Not me.....I am a realist..........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline  
Old 11-24-2009, 02:33 PM   #158
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by e86s54 View Post
Except for the fact that people who have not had any kids are not speaking from experience. Us who have, did not have kids at one time so generally remember that part of our lives.

My 2 kids (16 & 13) are the best parts of my full life. We are a very close family and the best parts of my day is at the dinner table when we all get to talk about our days. We have traveled extensively together since they were very young continue to and can't imagine going somewhere without them. It's the best and we all look forward to it twice a year. Both are great people, smart, funny, confident, athletic and they add so much to my life.

I occasionally have a weird dream (or perhaps a strange nightmare) where I am kinda back to square one...no wife and kids, but the same age and still retain all my worldly goods. It's a huge empty feeling!

So sure if you don't have kids you'll have more money and time...but to do what? Hobbies?!

E86S54

BTW...I'm in my mid-40's and plan to retire in a couple of years...to spend more time with my family.
Couldn't agree more, sounds like you have a lot of good balance in your life.........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline  
Old 11-24-2009, 04:25 PM   #159
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,864
Quote:
Originally Posted by e86s54 View Post
Except for the fact that people who have not had any kids are not speaking from experience. Us who have, did not have kids at one time so generally remember that part of our lives.

My 2 kids (16 & 13) are the best parts of my full life. We are a very close family and the best parts of my day is at the dinner table when we all get to talk about our days. We have traveled extensively together since they were very young and continue to. I can't imagine going somewhere without them. It's the best and we all look forward to it twice a year. Both are great people, smart, funny, confident, athletic and they add so much to my life.

I occasionally have a weird dream (or perhaps a strange nightmare) where I am kinda back to square one...no wife and kids, but the same age and still retain all my worldly goods. It's a huge empty feeling!

So sure if you don't have kids you'll have more money and time...but to do what? Hobbies?!

E86S54

BTW...I'm in my mid-40's and plan to retire in a couple of years...to spend more time with my family.
With all due respect, your post was very insulting to us childfree people.

Your post was a good example of we in the childfree world describe as getting ďbingoedĒ. It is typical of many childed people to stereotype childfree people as having empty lives.

What E86S54 fails to realize is that not everyone wants to have children. Childfree people like me see no positives to having children of our own, only negatives. Childfree people like me are also quite capable of having positive experiences with children without finding it necessary to have them. This is evident by the volunteer work I do as part of the school Scrabble program. That's a hobby, something I treasure a lot. [I have had nightmares about discovering I DID have kids and how awful my life would become. Good-bye to all things I enjoyed having by being childfree.]

We childfree people know in advance that we donít want to see our finances worsened by having kids. We treasure our peace and quiet and donít want to see that ruined by having kids. We know in advance that we donít want to be surrounded by stinky diapers for several years.

Do people have to go skiing in order to know they donít want to buy skis?

Do people have to buy old coins to know they donít want to be coin collectors?

Do people have to buy houses to know they donít want to live in houses?

These are all simple examples of lifestyle choices which people donít make because they know in advance they donít want to have. It is no different with having children.

But with children, once you have them, you canít give them back if you end up not liking them. That is why it is extremely important to know in advance that you donít want to have them. Remember that Ann Landers survey back in the 1970s in which 70% of the respondents wrote to tell how if they had to ďdo it over again, they would not have have kids?Ē

I hope you are able to retire in a few more years and enjoy spending more time with your family. Can you do that without belittling the choices we childfree made to also retire early?
__________________
scrabbler1 is offline  
Old 11-24-2009, 05:08 PM   #160
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by e86s54 View Post
So sure if you don't have kids you'll have more money and time...but to do what? Hobbies?!
Well...uh....what's the matter with that?
__________________

__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline  
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Your will and your children lynxville Life after FIRE 39 01-04-2008 07:41 PM
How many children bongo2 Other topics 95 11-01-2006 09:50 AM
Having children. Leonardo Young Dreamers 94 07-24-2006 09:18 PM
children claire Hi, I am... 109 04-27-2006 10:19 PM
RE with Children bongo2 Life after FIRE 10 02-24-2004 08:34 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:47 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.