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Old 02-08-2015, 04:22 PM   #21
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A friend of mine is on match.com. Sorted through a few, and found a guy she really likes. Things moved slowly for quite a while, he couldn't seem to find much time for her. Turns out his wife was keeping him too busy. He's claiming he'll leave her if she'll say she'll have him but I think he's playing games. She's not the type to take much advice so I'm keeping out of it.
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Old 02-08-2015, 05:01 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by MooreBonds View Post
I prefer eharmony. Have used it for a while. They use a variety of factors to send you matches that are going to be, on average, more compatible with you, than you simply picking 10 search variables and searching randomly.


There can be quite a bit to using psychology and other factors (like one's primary and secondary "love language") to see if people are compatible. Also, since eHarmony is relatively more expensive than Match, people are (again, relatively) more serious about finding someone to spend the rest of their life with.

Obviously, nothing is fool-proof, and I have met a handful of truly crazy people on eHarmony. But will stay with them because, overall, my matches have been pretty good.

I also have a profile on a website centered around higher income/net worth people. As expected, most people on there are shallow, and just looking for someone with some bucks to spend on them and just be pretty arm candy. In addition to most of them not being cut from the same Live Below Your Means cloth as I am. There are a few rare hard-working people, but they're few and far between.
Both of these are really good to know. I used Match in the mid 2000s and was generally happy. After a long hiatus I started using again in fall 2013, it started off pretty good, but after meeting one great and two ok woman, I stopped getting dates off it by last summer, so I didn't renew.

I tried E-Harmony briefly and was frustrated. But one of my best friend meet his new wife via E-harmony and swears by it.

Is there a way to speed up the introduction process on E-Harmony?
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Old 02-08-2015, 05:36 PM   #23
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I hope you really meant to say "buy dinner for random women," because your syntax is, shall we say, ambiguous

(and yes, being inclined to say things like "your syntax is ambiguous" made it rather hard for me to get dates, back in the day! No matter how good I looked in a short dress).

Proper English is a second language for me...

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Old 02-08-2015, 06:48 PM   #24
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I have never used any online dating. I have a steady now, but if I didn't I could find reasonable dates in a week. A woman doesn't have to be perfect; I'm certainly not.

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Old 02-08-2015, 07:34 PM   #25
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My wife and I met on Match in 06' so my take is a bit dated, pardon the pun. I found Match to have a lot of control over the characteristics I was looking for. Eharmony didn't.

I actually found my wife by searching with the keyword 'kayaking'. And it's been smooth paddling ever since, well almost.
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Old 02-08-2015, 08:19 PM   #26
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I am so glad I met my current boyfriend of 12 years the old fashioned way...at the lake. Even though I am 38 years old and embrace technology, online dating freaks me out. I guess if I had not met my boyfriend when I did, I might have ended up as a crazy cat lady. Anyway, I think trying to hook up with a mate through mutual interests and activities is a good way to find that special someone.

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Old 02-08-2015, 08:25 PM   #27
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The only dating site I could get on was the 'carbon dating' site. ;-)
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Old 02-08-2015, 08:26 PM   #28
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At least one person I used to work with used marriedsecrets dot com a lot. It's for married people seeking rendezvouses with other married people I think. That site, along with er dot org showed up on the "Top 10 most visited" list of websites when my former employer tried to remind us of the Proper Internet Usage Policy.

We never did figure out who was surfing on marriedsecrets all the time.
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Old 02-09-2015, 06:51 AM   #29
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The old-fashioned way is always going to be "best" if you can possibly manage it. For one thing, human beings aren't engineering projects, and defining "requirements" can be tricky.

Example: Mr. A's daughter married a much older man (several years older than I am) whom she met at a social event; they have been together for 18 years. They are each other's first spouse. Because of the large age difference, it's no doubt unlikely they would have "selected for" one another online.
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Old 02-09-2015, 09:50 PM   #30
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At least one person I used to work with used marriedsecrets dot com a lot. It's for married people seeking rendezvouses with other married people I think. That site, along with er dot org showed up on the "Top 10 most visited" list of websites when my former employer tried to remind us of the Proper Internet Usage Policy.

We never did figure out who was surfing on marriedsecrets all the time.
Might have been a suspicious spouse constantly checking to see if their spouse had posted their profile online.

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Old 02-09-2015, 11:26 PM   #31
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I also have a profile on a website centered around higher income/net worth people. As expected, most people on there are shallow, and just looking for someone with some bucks to spend on them and just be pretty arm candy.
Is it the Retire Early website?

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Old 02-10-2015, 07:18 AM   #32
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I tried match.com a few years ago. I only met a few women for dates and all of those encountered turned out to be a bit strange. Gave up on online dating.

Maybe early-retirement.org needs a singles forum.
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Old 02-10-2015, 07:59 AM   #33
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I don't use income or savings as a criteria for dating, I just let people know I will more likely share my house and food than my bank account.

And I will make decisions in my financial interest over a persons "personal" interest half the time at least....
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Old 02-10-2015, 09:18 AM   #34
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Have any of you tried Meetup groups? It's a great way to meet people who share similar interests. I imagine it would be a great, no pressure way to find a partner.
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Old 02-10-2015, 09:33 AM   #35
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My wife and I met on Match in 06' so my take is a bit dated, pardon the pun. I found Match to have a lot of control over the characteristics I was looking for. Eharmony didn't.

I actually found my wife by searching with the keyword 'kayaking'. And it's been smooth paddling ever since, well almost.
I also met my husband on Match.com in October 2006. We married one year later and I have never been happier.

Prior to meeting my husband, I met a lot of gentlemen from Match.com, and dated one for almost a year. Overall I thought the experience was really good and would recommend it as a way to meet people in your area.
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Old 02-10-2015, 12:47 PM   #36
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Is it the Retire Early website?


. I probably missed the gossip, but has anybody married/had a serious relationship with someone they met via the forum?
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Old 02-10-2015, 01:06 PM   #37
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Combining two serious LBYMers from here? I don't think dryer sheets can stand that much reuse punishment.
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Old 02-10-2015, 04:21 PM   #38
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A look at eharmony on Nightline:

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Old 02-11-2015, 12:27 AM   #39
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Several years ago, I completed the free assessment questionnaire on Eharmony. Afterward, instead of sending me my "free matches", they said that based on how I answered the questions, they would not be able to match me up with anyone and politely thanked me for taking the time to answer their questions and wished me luck. I recall the email said that this happens to about 10% of the people.
Guess I'm just a unique person.
This is like the funniest thing I have heard all day! Yep you must be quite unique!



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Old 02-11-2015, 07:59 AM   #40
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I tried a few of those websites in an free basis (i.e. viewing profiles and posting my own profile) but nothing could overcome my being a childfree person. Simply stating that I have no children, don't want any children, or seeing in the woman's profile that she either is single/divorced/widowed with children eliminated nearly all of the profiles I saw (or eliminated me from further consideration by them). I never spent a dime on any of those dating services.


However, as I got older (into my 40s), if a woman had adult child(ren) who lived on their own and did not rely on their moms for everyday life, then these women became possibilities again. I met my ladyfriend 10 years ago and I met her adult daughter (who is divorced with 3 kids of her own) for the first time last year. She (her daughter) lives 700 miles away.
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