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Old 10-24-2009, 01:09 PM   #121
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So, "cougar" is 40, Mom is 60, has stayed in shape, etc....
I don't see the problem??


There are just some things mothers and daughters should not share.... I feel the need to take another shower and brush my teeth....
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Old 10-24-2009, 06:59 PM   #122
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Woo Hoo! This from a woman poster! I am learning something all the time. Perhaps I am really a prude, as some of my friends have told me. !
I'm not so much prudish as fastidious, since I would not consider taking part in something as unsanitary as a 3-some. But I won't condemn what other consenting adults do in their private moments, as long as it doesn't hurt kids or animals, doesn't damage property belonging to me, and doesn't involve my husband

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Post pictures please. As I have said, I only look, but that I do!
Oh, dear, I'm afraid I didn't take any pictures. The young men were embarrassed enough as it was.

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Old 10-25-2009, 12:12 AM   #123
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Oh, dear, I'm afraid I didn't take any pictures. The young men were embarrassed enough as it was.
Amethyst
No, pictures of Amethyst herself. This prudish young man's curiosity has been piqued, and he is now wondering about her physique. He remembers seeing a post of her svelte BMI a while back. He looked at her profile and also did not see any indication of age.
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Old 10-25-2009, 05:16 AM   #124
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Thank you for your interest, but I'm averse to posting pictures of self on the Web. It's a privacy thing. So, until we meet each other in person at the first big ER Forum Get-Together, I'm afraid you'll have to use your imagination.

I noticed nobody touched my original premise in my post. Namely, that younger men, for the most part, reject good-looking older women out of concern for the "eeew, man, she could be your mother" factor, and not strictly because the women are older. I think it's true. Opposing arguments?

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Old 10-25-2009, 05:57 AM   #125
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... that younger men, for the most part, reject good-looking older women out of concern for the "eeew, man, she could be your mother" factor, and not strictly because the women are older. I think it's true. Opposing arguments?

Amethyst
None here.

Qui tacet consentit?

Silence is consent agreement?
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Old 10-25-2009, 08:23 AM   #126
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The men are afraid that anything they say will be wrong...to somebody! (And it will!)

Let us return, therefore, to bold discussions of SWR and spreadsheets, and leave the really important questions severely alone....
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Old 10-25-2009, 09:05 AM   #127
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Thank you for your interest, but I'm averse to posting pictures of self on the Web. It's a privacy thing.
Just teasing. I do not come here looking for romance. I have posted none of my pictures either.

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Let us return, therefore, to bold discussions of SWR and spreadsheets, and leave the really important questions severely alone....
How much discussion can we have on SWR, day in, day out? Thanks for an interesting diversion. I always learn something.
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Old 10-25-2009, 09:35 AM   #128
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Just teasing.
How much discussion can we have on SWR, day in, day out? Thanks for an interesting diversion. I always learn something.
Hey, that's the best non-financial implementation of a safe withdrawal I have ever seen!
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Old 10-25-2009, 10:24 AM   #129
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So, "cougar" is 40, Mom is 60, has stayed in shape, etc....
I don't see the problem??

I wonder how many guys would love to go with a sexy older woman, and
the only thing truly holding them back is "others might make fun." I have seen the young guys watching me on the street, then refusing to look me in the eye as I pass close by..."my god, she could be our mother, sure hope nobody noticed we were checking her out!"
In '93, I went from dating someone 12 years older than me to someone 14 years younger...

They each had their charms...
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Old 10-25-2009, 11:53 AM   #130
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No one here would expect a picture posted in response to my rhetoric taunt, would he?

Come on, admit it. This is a lot more fun than the continuing reharsh of boglehead philosophy, of SWR, of indexing investing, etc..., etc... This forum would be dead, without threads like this. As stated in another thread, being prudish myself, I was slow to learn that it is human nature to talk about these "things", even in geezerdom.

Oops, I use the "g" word again. Might offend some here, although I have readily admitted to being one before my time. My wife often told me that she would be the only woman who could stand my crankiness. Yep, this codger believes her.
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Old 10-25-2009, 12:14 PM   #131
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Come one, admit it. This is a lot more fun than the continuing reharsh of boglehead philosophy, of SWR, of indexing investing, etc..., etc... This forum would be dead, without threads like this.
That this thread has 129 responses boggles my mind. There likely could not be another topic less central to the group here than cougars. Most of the men are way too old to qualify for a cougar, and most of the women are way too old to be cougars.

I am not saying that real topics about aging, sex, relationships, love, fidelity and betrayal would not be important. They would. But fantasies about cougars is as close as we are likely to go.

The other thing interesting about this very long thread is how it would be received if the gender roles were reversed. Yep, 40+ guys preying on 18 to 22 year old girls. After all, "cougar" does not imply a loving relationship or a grand passion. It implies prey and predator.

Ha
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Old 10-25-2009, 01:14 PM   #132
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40+ year old guys preying on 18 to 22 year old girls isn't cougar-stuff...that's European and most of the rest of the world, too.
So, if I find some younger guy of, say, 50 and I'm 65 then I'm not being a cougar. Does that mean I'm just being "friendly?" A dirty old woman? Or I just need someone to carry my oxygen tank?
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Old 10-25-2009, 01:31 PM   #133
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So, if I find some younger guy of, say, 50 and I'm 65 then I'm not being a cougar. Does that mean I'm just being "friendly?" A dirty old woman? Or I just need someone to carry my oxygen tank?
Just a human being trying to live your life.

Ha
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Old 10-25-2009, 01:32 PM   #134
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I'm just trying to figure out what the basis is of the taboo (and that's why cougars are interesting enough to merit 7 pages: They are infringing on a taboo for all they're worth).

When I ask my husband and other men why men, in general, avoid women over 50, they say things like "older women get fat/don't take care of themselves/are bitter and cynical," all things that are absolutely true of plenty of younger women who are having sex and getting married all the time.

But, give a pretty woman a few brow wrinkles and some veins on the backs of her hands, and suddenly she's either derided as a "cougar" or men pretend to ignore her. Even when they secretly want to look!

It makes no sense and I don't expect it to make sense. I'd just to know why 'tis. Because Amethyst always wants to know "why."

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Old 10-25-2009, 01:49 PM   #135
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I'm just trying to figure out what the basis is of the taboo (and that's why cougars are interesting enough to merit 7 pages: They are infringing on a taboo for all they're worth).

When I ask my husband and other men why men, in general, avoid women over 50, they say things like "older women get fat/don't take care of themselves/are bitter and cynical," all things that are absolutely true of plenty of younger women who are having sex and getting married all the time.

But, give a pretty woman a few brow wrinkles and some veins on the backs of her hands, and suddenly she's either derided as a "cougar" or men pretend to ignore her. Even when they secretly want to look!

It makes no sense and I don't expect it to make sense. I'd just to know why 'tis. Because Amethyst always wants to know "why."

Amethyst
Do you really want to know? It has almost nothing to do with looks or calendar age. Men yadda about looks all the time, but what we are really looking for is a woman that turns us on. Older women can do this just fine; it's just easier for a young woman. Post menopausal women lack pheromones. They taste different, (less acidic) and most importantly they treat men differently.

The older we get the more we could use that unconscious jolt-factor given by nature to pre-menopausal women. Sex is just as much fun as life goes on, but it is different. Most of us non-wealthly men accept that it is part of our aging that our partners will be older too. But menopause is an adrupt shelf, not a gradual gradient. Tell your husband to enjoy it while he can, 'cause it does change.

OTOH, a cougar is actually a young woman, it's just that she is going after even younger men. It has no effect on me, and i find it pretty much uninteresting, except in the same way that all the human behaviors that I see all the time are interesting in a more or less clinical sense.

Ha
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Old 10-25-2009, 02:05 PM   #136
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Ha,

Come on. How would young men have a clue what older women smell or taste like. They don't get close enough to sniff. I say the avoidance is motivated by peer pressure and so far, nobody has contradicted me.

Now, about that "older women treat [remember, we're talking young] men differently" part. Do you perceive some form of age-related personality change in women that causes them to treat young men differently? something even worse than PMS? Calling them 'dearie,' something like that?

A.
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Old 10-25-2009, 02:14 PM   #137
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Ha,

Come on. How would young men have a clue what older women smell or taste like. They don't get close enough to sniff. I say the avoidance is motivated by peer pressure and so far, nobody has contradicted me.

Now, about that "older women treat [remember, we're talking young] men differently" part. Do you perceive some form of age-related personality change in women that causes them to treat young men differently? something even worse than PMS? Calling them 'dearie,' something like that?

A.
Just what I said. Hormones change, women change. I didn't say anything about smell, I said pheromones. Pheromones have no smell.

As to peer pressure, men always respect another man who gets a lots of sex without having to give up much. I doubt there is any peer pressure against a man having sex with an older woman, though there likely is against a young man getting very wound up with a considerably older woman.

More than this I cannot say, as it would push on too many PC taboos.

No doubt you could snag a young guy if you went hunting.

Ha
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Old 10-25-2009, 02:29 PM   #138
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Now, about that "older women treat [remember, we're talking young] men differently" part. Do you perceive some form of age-related personality change in women that causes them to treat young men differently? something even worse than PMS? Calling them 'dearie,' something like that?

A.
I just hollered when I read that!

If I EVER do that....just shoot me!
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Old 10-25-2009, 04:51 PM   #139
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As said earlier, I have not known any older woman. But I do not know why age would be that big a deal. I am not talking about sex or lust; that knows of no age boundaries. I am talking more about companionship if not love. Being always of older mental age than my chronological age (despite my young look ), I would say that women of 50-60 would be too young for me. Thank goodness my wife is also of the same nature (and she looks young for her age too!).

We are just two old souls trapped inside perceived young bodies. So, we are compatible.
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Old 10-25-2009, 11:27 PM   #140
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Ha,

Come on. How would young men have a clue what older women smell or taste like. They don't get close enough to sniff. I say the avoidance is motivated by peer pressure and so far, nobody has contradicted me.
How is it peer pressure? I started this thread by stating I dated a 34 year old when I was 23. To me, older women can be attractive. Sophia Loren comes to mind......

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Now, about that "older women treat [remember, we're talking young] men differently" part. Do you perceive some form of age-related personality change in women that causes them to treat young men differently? something even worse than PMS? Calling them 'dearie,' something like that?A.
Well, my cougars called me "stud muffin"........
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