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divorce attorney
Old 08-08-2017, 02:38 PM   #1
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divorce attorney

Don't know if this is the proper place to look for this kind of advice but here goes. My son, age 40 is going through divorce. His attorney is not representing him well and seems to want to drop the case. Son says he can't afford the attorney, keeps getting more expensive. Sons wife if being nasty, so costs are higher. Don't want and haven't been asked for financial support for attorney. at a loss as to what if anything I can do. Are attorneys that say they are "attorney for men" anything? Or just hype?
Part of me says stay away from whole situation but would like to do what I can. Any advice?
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Old 08-08-2017, 02:45 PM   #2
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There is one that advertises here locally in North Carolina called Cordell & Cordell.

I have no affiliation, no knowledge (1st, second, or third-hand), no interest, no NOTHING. Just keep hearing their ads on the radio - supporting men, specifically, in divorce.

You can google them I assume, they may have offices elsewhere.
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Old 08-08-2017, 02:51 PM   #3
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I would look for a certified specialist in family or board certified or whatever they call it in your state. That denotes an attorney who is highly focused on family law and not someone that just dabbles in family law. I think your son would be better served by someone like that. Plus, might also look to see if the attorney does collaborative practice which is like mediation. That can save some money.
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Old 08-08-2017, 03:06 PM   #4
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Choosing your attorney (battlefield general) in a divorce (a war) is the most important task one can do to get the conflict to resolution quickly and efficiently.

(ask for references...call them)
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Old 08-08-2017, 03:27 PM   #5
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There is one that advertises here locally in North Carolina called Cordell & Cordell.

I have no affiliation, no knowledge (1st, second, or third-hand), no interest, no NOTHING. Just keep hearing their ads on the radio - supporting men, specifically, in divorce.

You can google them I assume, they may have offices elsewhere.


They advertise here in the DC area as well. I think they've used Barry Sanders (retired NFL player) as a spokesperson in some of their radio ads.
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Old 08-08-2017, 04:13 PM   #6
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They advertise here in the DC area as well. I think they've used Barry Sanders (retired NFL player) as a spokesperson in some of their radio ads.


And in St. Louis they use Ozzie Smith.

Returning to OP: the selection of an attorney, and the level of "battle", depends. Kids? Big money? Infidelity?

We have 3 friends with daughters going thru divorce. Ironically all married the same year. It can be a mess, or the two can buck up and come to a fairly quick agreement (which did happen in one out of three)

Good luck.
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Old 08-08-2017, 04:22 PM   #7
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I think the "attorney for men" part deals with custody of children. Whether there is any difference between an "attorney for men" vs regular, I don't know.
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Old 08-08-2017, 04:26 PM   #8
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divorce attorney

In my area most attorneys offer a 'free' 30 minute consultation. It might be worth your time to visit a few and then direct you son to one or another you think is good.

Divorce is messy and I am sorry for your son. I was lucky in that both my then wife and I realized that the more we fought the richer our attorneys would be. We hired a mediator and worked out our own deal. Total cost less than $1000. So I highly recommend mediation if at all possible. Otherwise your son and his wife are two chickens waiting to be plucked. Not so good.
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Old 08-08-2017, 05:04 PM   #9
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Fortunately (for me & DW), I have no experience or advice to give.

But I will add that the local classical music station here (WFMT, known world-wide due to the internet, so maybe no longer 'local'), has discreet, announcer-read advertisements (no jingles, nothing pre-recorded). There is a firm that advertises on the air, and we'd normally call them "divorce lawyers", but noooo, not on these 'snooty' adverts. They are.... "marriage dissolution specialists"!

Gimme a break! A rose by any other name...


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Old 08-08-2017, 06:15 PM   #10
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Another vote here for mediation. My Ex and I had major issues but we sat down with our attorneys and negotiated a property settlement. Neither of us got 100% of what we wanted, of course, but we had control over what we gave up and we saved legal costs.
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:32 PM   #11
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When it's been decided that there is absolutely zero chance of reconciliation, the divorce turns into a business situation. It's down to dividing assets and who pays who if children are involved.

I've seen husbands drug through the mud time after time again. Like Jerry Reed said: "We split it down the middle and she got the better half." The wife is often torturing the husband and being needlessly vindictive in a way only a female will do. Men seldom show as bad behavior that a wife puts out.

Remember that it's now a business decision--not personal at that point.

If a property settlement cannot be made, tell the attorney to put the case on the Family Court's docket and let the judge make the decision. Then his billing hours will not be required until the hearing. Dragging the case out from year to year doesn't do anyone any good. Get in line.
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:49 PM   #12
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divorce attorney

As a general rule the fewer decisions made by the black robed people the better off the two litigants will be.
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:52 PM   #13
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Oh, have him get at least 5 certified official copies of the divorce decree. They are needed over and over again as he untangles from being married. Sad but necessary.
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Old 08-08-2017, 08:38 PM   #14
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Another vote here for mediation. My Ex and I had major issues but we sat down with our attorneys and negotiated a property settlement. Neither of us got 100% of what we wanted, of course, but we had control over what we gave up and we saved legal costs.
+1000

A good friend of mine ignored sane advice from family and friends. They amassed a huge legal bill between the two of them, arguing through attorneys.

In the end they reconciled their differences and didn't divorce. Of course they were stuck with the lawyers bills. Probably not great to think about six figure bills while working things out.

Doing it through mediation increases the odds of cooler heads and better solutions for all involved.
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Old 08-08-2017, 09:04 PM   #15
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The wife is often torturing the husband and being needlessly vindictive in a way only a female will do.


Made me laugh, you must have met "my better half" .
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Old 08-08-2017, 10:03 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by glinka View Post
Don't know if this is the proper place to look for this kind of advice but here goes. My son, age 40 is going through divorce. His attorney is not representing him well and seems to want to drop the case. Son says he can't afford the attorney, keeps getting more expensive. Sons wife if being nasty, so costs are higher. Don't want and haven't been asked for financial support for attorney. at a loss as to what if anything I can do. Are attorneys that say they are "attorney for men" anything? Or just hype?
Part of me says stay away from whole situation but would like to do what I can. Any advice?
Do they have children? Is the wife disabled, or working? Is your son wealthy? Does he earn a lot more than the wife?

Also, can you tap into a pipeline of information? Who are the big settlement winners? There is nothing nice about divorce. Some few couples can get smart, most unfortunately would like to draw blood, the more the better. But once in a contest, don't hold back, even though this is a woman that he was in love with, and may still be in love with.

Ha
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Old 08-08-2017, 11:04 PM   #17
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.....The wife is often torturing the husband and being needlessly vindictive in a way only a female will do. Men seldom show as bad behavior that a wife puts out.....
This is a ludicrous statement.
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Old 08-08-2017, 11:08 PM   #18
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There is one that advertises here locally in North Carolina called Cordell & Cordell.

I have no affiliation, no knowledge (1st, second, or third-hand), no interest, no NOTHING. Just keep hearing their ads on the radio - supporting men, specifically, in divorce.

You can google them I assume, they may have offices elsewhere.
Maybe find an attorney by word of mouth. Attorneys that advertise age of lower quality.
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Old 08-09-2017, 06:26 AM   #19
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I am family law attorney in Illinois. I am very uncomfortable with "chain" attorneys. They tend to churn their cases. I would suggest you find a local attorney with a strong reputation and history of handling only family law cases. Meet with potential attorneys and have specific questions and goals in mind. You want someone who tells you the truth, which isn't always what the client wants. Better to be prepared for the worst. It won't be cheap. True custody battles can cost in excess of 25k in our area.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:01 AM   #20
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People need to understand that there is absolutely zero incentive for divorce attorneys to make a divorce as smooth as possible. The longer it goes on the more money they make. Its a crooked business that will never change unless people force things to change...which they wont. Humans work off of emotions and do not care how much it costs to "make a point."
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