Does your spouse annoy you in retirement?

[Amethyst]

Doing the same things as they did 30 years ago? No, I can't, and I've been married 30 years. New behaviors might be annoying.

Gee, who could imagine a difference between one's feelings toward a 25 year old and a 55 year old?

Certainly not me.

Ha

 

[skipro33]

REW, spoken like a wise man with years in the trenches!

I prefer to talk in a low voice from several rooms away, preferably with the dishwasher running, and get annoyed when DH doesn't hear me. It is a surefire way drive him crazy!

I KNEW IT!!

you wives do this on purpose! I'm so sick of saying 'what?' that I gave up. Instead, I parrot back exactly what I heard. You would be amazed at the difference between what I hear and what she said. Ha!

 

[scrinch]

I prefer to talk in a low voice from several rooms away, preferably with the dishwasher running, and get annoyed when DH doesn't hear me. It is a surefire way drive him crazy!

Did my DW teach you that??

 

[Sarah in SC]

That's the ladies' secret weapon, guys! My boss says his wife does the same thing!!

 

[Calico]

I'm with you except for the cats!

 

[Ronnieboy]

For everyone who talks to themselves or have SO that talk to themselves, what do you or they say? I can't imagine talking out loud to myself when I am thinking it, why do I have to say it out loud?

Do they read out loud too?

Just curious....
If unloading the dishwasher do they say, "the pans go here, the plates here" I guess I don't get it.
Now if the SO other is talking to you and it just sounds like background noise that is another story

 

[Calico]

Not an annoyance, but DW likes to talk to me from the kitchen when I'm in the den. I don't have good hearing anymore, so I can hear her speaking but cannot discern the words. One of the reasons I haven't gotten hearing aids yet

I have an 80-year-old uncle who is sharp as a tack, but his hearing is going. For some reason (??) he keeps "forgetting" to wear his hearing aids. On a completely unrelated note, he has been married to my talkative aunt for 50 years.

 

[cyber888]

Here's a solution. Buy some wax or ear plugs, stuff it in your ears, and you won't hear anything. As you see your wife's mouth move, smile occasionally .. and just go about your business ... reading, napping, eating, dancing, etc.

I'm sitting here listening to my wife talk to herself in the kitchen. She talks constantly--seldom shutting her mouth.

I used to talk some--until I retired--and now cannot get a word in edgewise. I just keep my mouth shut.

 

[Ally]

Sometimes my husband and I annoy each other, but it is so much less now that we are retired. We have a lot more fun around each other than we used to, when we were often stressed and tense. Not much seems worth getting annoyed over anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[JOHNNIE36]

My wife and I have been married 45 years and I can truly say that I have enjoyed every day of our marriage. Second for both of us and she says we were just made for each other. We have never had a real argument, tiff, fight or whatever. Lately she gets on me about not remembering things she has told me. Tells me not to get senile on her. I tell her she's losing it because she never told me what she told me. It goes on and on. But we smile about it anyway. Hope it stays that way. We'll both be very happy.

 

[irishgal]

I adore my husband of 8 years. (There have been previous marriages for both of us.) He is brilliant, and has an amazing memory for details about almost everything he has ever read or heard.

When we go out, he almost always drives. And he talks....and talks...about whatever comes into his mind. I have heard detailed descriptions of aircraft accidents that interest him, battlefield strategies of different wars, the reasons that the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald sank in 1975 with a verbatim recital of the lyrics of the song by Gordon Lightfoot. I have heard more about Greek mythology than I ever care to know. Chemical reactions..the whys, the hows, the whens. The history of mathematics and how much it is misunderstood and under appreciated is a favorite of his. And it goes on...forever. The only times I interrupt is when he has just driven past our turn or exit on the highway, which is often.

His talking is fine. His driving while talking is annoying.

This is great! Sounds like my dream man. Smart trumps anything. And I'm an introvert so I would rather listen.


Wild Irish Rogue

 

[Whisper66]

No, my DW doesn't annoy me. One of the key reasons I retired was to have more quality time with her. Haven't regretted that decision for one moment. Love her as much as the day we got married.

Just got back from an all day trip to the emergency room when I read this thread. DW was the one that convinced me to go and then monitored me the whole day. Made sure the doctors knew my symptoms so they could figure out quickly what was probably wrong and administer pain meds when they were needed. She (and the hospital folks) were a God send to me. Turned out to be "only" kidney stones so nothing life alterring but sure couldn't tell it by the amount of pain I felt today. I just hope I can be as supportive to her when she needs it as she is to me.

 

[Meadbh]

My wife and I have been married 45 years and I can truly say that I have enjoyed every day of our marriage. Second for both of us and she says we were just made for each other. We have never had a real argument, tiff, fight or whatever. Lately she gets on me about not remembering things she has told me. Tells me not to get senile on her. I tell her she's losing it because she never told me what she told me. It goes on and on. But we smile about it anyway. Hope it stays that way. We'll both be very happy.

Awwww!

 

[bingybear]

I'm sitting here listening to my wife talk to herself in the kitchen. She talks constantly--seldom shutting her mouth.

I used to talk some--until I retired--and now cannot get a word in edgewise. I just keep my mouth shut.

I've always felt lucky to be blessed with my wife. You have just added support that that feeling.

 

[FUEGO]

That's the ladies' secret weapon, guys! My boss says his wife does the same thing!!

I just respond back in a normal voice "I can't hear you". That way when she starts yelling at me for ignoring her or not obeying whatever her request is, I can honestly say that I told her I couldn't hear her but she must have missed it.

 

[Sunset]

hmmmmm....... does she talk while sharpening the knives in the kitchen

We are the opposite, we can have hours of total silence, there is nothing wrong with the relationship, just nothing to say.

We have done the work from home thing for a year prior to retirement, maybe it was the needing to be silent during conference calls.

Whatever it is, I find sometimes I have to ask her what's on her mind, just to get the conversation started.

 

[Calico]

No, my DW doesn't annoy me. One of the key reasons I retired was to have more quality time with her. Haven't regretted that decision for one moment. Love her as much as the day we got married.

Just got back from an all day trip to the emergency room when I read this thread. DW was the one that convinced me to go and then monitored me the whole day. Made sure the doctors knew my symptoms so they could figure out quickly what was probably wrong and administer pain meds when they were needed. She (and the hospital folks) were a God send to me. Turned out to be "only" kidney stones so nothing life alterring but sure couldn't tell it by the amount of pain I felt today. I just hope I can be as supportive to her when she needs it as she is to me.

Sounds like you and your DW both hit the jackpot in the marital lottery.

I'm sorry to hear about the trip to the ER - as far as I know, there is no such thing as "only" kidney stones - at least not according to my friends who have been down that road!

Keep the pain meds handy and have a speedy recovery.

 

[kimcdougc]

Married my DH at 19 and he was 21. Knew each other only 2 weeks when we married. He retired in February. I found we need time away from each other. We love each other to the end. We walk 5 miles a day, usually at the nearby mall. He goes way too fast for me, so we walk in different directions until the last round, we walk together.

We have been married 37 years and counting. We are still trying to figure it all out but are having a great time doing it. He is my best friend (but doesn't always hear what I say and repeats exactly that which I had just said). Like I said...still working on the retirement and having so much time together. Fun learning though.

 

[tmm99]

Sounds like you and your DW both hit the jackpot in the marital lottery.

I'm sorry to hear about the trip to the ER - as far as I know, there is no such thing as "only" kidney stones - at least not according to my friends who have been down that road!

Keep the pain meds handy and have a speedy recovery.

I have had a kidney stone (calcium) years ago and no recurrence since. (Knock on wood.) I had to go to ER too and the stone showed up on the CT - passed the next day (and caught the stone to be analyzed). They gave me strong pain killers - initially via IV (God sent!) and then prescription meds. I wouldn't have survived without the pain killers - It hurt THAT BAD. This happened when I wasn't drinking much fluid at all (It was really cold that week and for some reason, I stopped drinking water.) I have been making sure to hydrate myself every day since. I strongly believe fluid intake plays a huge role in kidney stone formation (at least for the calcium kind. Not sure about the uric acid kind.)

Good luck to you.

 

[nash031]

In my mid-20s, atop the Space Needle, my girlfriend at the time was singing to herself in a very public setting. I asked her to stop. She told me she sings like that when she's happy, but not to worry, she'd make sure not to do it again. I realized immediately that my annoyance with her singing was a "me" problem, not her problem.

It was a life lesson then, and one I've not forgotten more than a decade later through several girlfriends and now married to a wonderful woman.

If it's something she does when she's happy, I say soak every bit of it up. My wife can't sing a lick, but I love it when she tries!

 

[HFWR]

Not much seems worth getting annoyed over anymore.

The secret to a happy life...

 

[athena53]

My husband, like Silver's, is also interested in a huge variety of topics (so am I) but he's not a big talker. Occasionally my eyes do glaze over when he talks about a football game or an historic battle- those are two topics I never could find interesting.


When I was pondering ER the weekend I'd decided that my BS bucket at the office was full, DH said, "this is selfish of me, but I'd like it if you were around more". Awww, how sweet! He's 15 years older and retired for years, and I'd already had one job where I worked from home 3 days a week and we did fine. I spend time at the gym every day, I do yard work in good weather, I've got Toastmasters once a week and volunteer work with the church, so we're not together 24/7. We also have a house big enough that we're not running into each other constantly.


I once had a relationship with a flaming extravert; we bought a 2-family house together. Boy, was that a mistake. He ALWAYS wanted to be in my unit with me. If I wanted to be alone, he took it as a sign that I didn't like him. It was a relief when we broke up; he just couldn't stand being by himself and I NEEDED time by myself.

 

[Car-Guy]

I prefer to talk in a low voice from several rooms away, preferably with the dishwasher running, and get annoyed when DH doesn't hear me. It is a surefire way drive him crazy!

This must be something that women are taught in school.

 

[jIMOh]

There is a joke about a gag and 50 shades of grey
but I won't go there

oops

 

[target2019]

There's a place in the world for an angry old man.