Grand-parenting - Was I out of line?

[Bestwifeever]

I think every person posting here felt it is okay for people to speak up about a dangerous issue but most of us seem to understand where the OP's DS was coming from in his response, and applaud the resolution they achieved.

One nice moment about being grandparents for me is when I realized my grandchildren's parents are in charge of them and I stopped thinking and worrying about the best thing they should do for them. That was a burden lifted.

 

[Teacher Terry]

OP: so glad you and your son resolved the issue. It sounds like your DIL has a lot of stress and that was the last straw. I would trust them to make a good decision.

 

[CaliKid]

No It's one of those things that's everyone's business because kids will be kids whether its your kids or the neighborhood kids.Smog isn't even a close second to an accidental drowning..the drowning is instantly fatal...for boys 1 to 4 drowning is the leading cause of accidental death since about 2005.and you can't avoid driving in a car but you can fence your pool.

I am not going to get into an argument as I was merely giving examples. I don't know, or care, what's more dangerous. I do know with 1,0000000% certainty it's not the grandparents business nor anybody else's business. It's simply not. They are welcome to voice their opinion, which the OP has done on too many issues apparently, but at the end of the day it is simply not their business. They can be concerned, they can have trouble sleeping at night, and whatever else they want but it's not their business. My sister in law makes horrible decisions, seeming daily, in raising her kids but they are her kids not ours and thus not our business. People need to learn to respect boundaries.

 

[ivinsfan]

We moved and controlled our toxic chemicals when the kids were toddlers but never fenced our pool. As a matter of fact, I don't recall anyone in our neighborhood fencing a pool, and there were plenty of them. Our yard was fenced and gated as that was the requirement.

We were careful parents and supervised our children when in the yard where the pool was. We also taught our children how to swim at a very early age.

I suspect a lot of the laws these days are put in place to protect the children from their parent's negligence.

Well fenced with a locked gate protects the neighbors kids...but a lot of laws are to protect kids from negligent parents, or maybe overwhelmed parents, or even a parent that stepped away to go to the bathroom...no reason to punish the child because the parents slipped up. We probably agree on that.

 

[ivinsfan]

I am not going to get into an argument as I was merely giving examples. I don't know, or care, what's more dangerous. I do know with 1,0000000% certainty it's not the grandparents business nor anybody else's business. It's simply not. They are welcome to voice their opinion, which the OP has done on too many issues apparently, but at the end of the day it is simply not their business. They can be concerned, they can have trouble sleeping at night, and whatever else they want but it's not their business. My sister in law makes horrible decisions, seeming daily, in raising her kids but they are her kids not ours and thus not our business. People need to learn to respect boundaries.

Boundaries are fine, it's a little harder when young kids are involved. You definitely have to pick your battles.I'm going to fence my pool because the teeny tiny chance of a kid coming to a bad end in my pool, overcomes the issues of costs , aesthetics, convenience, this is America and I can do what I want to thinking...

 

[ivinsfan]

We will have to agree to disagree on this.

My next door neighbor has a nice pool. Fenced in from the outside but you can walk right out their back door into the pool area. They have young grand kids over all the time. I would never ever ever go talk to my awesome neighbors about that. Why? It's none of my business. The DH is about 66 and rides a motorcycle. Should I go lecture him about the horrible motorcycle accident rates? No way. Why? None of my business. My two kids (DD 22/DS 24) and their three cousins speak highly of their grandparents. All have lived with grand parents for up to 9 months at a time. Guess what? These grand parents will tell you straight up that it is not their place to tell us how to raise our children. On the other hand all of the parents involved are responsible successful parents. YRMV

We're mixing apples and oranges here,your DH is a grown man who is capable of rational thought about riding motorcyles.

A lot of home developments now have rules about cutting grass, parking cars on the street and many minor details like that. Some say you have to fence your pool. I'm confused about how this thread went from a grandparent worrying about a known child safety issue to "telling parents how to raise their children"..

 

[ivinsfan]

No kidding. Laundry detergent in small brightly colored packets that look like candy. Whose bright idea was that?

When our grandchildren were babies we had child locks everywhere for the doors and cabinets. Some worked as intended, but most either didn't fit well or were easily defeated. The most important safeguard is vigilance, for which there is no substitute.

Amen, some kids love to figure out the best way to get around the childfree locks....vigilance is key but a slipup around a swimming pool can have fatal consequences.

 

[Bigdawg]

We're mixing apples and oranges here,your DH is a grown man who is capable of rational thought about riding motorcyles.

A lot of home developments now have rules about cutting grass, parking cars on the street and many minor details like that. Some say you have to fence your pool. I'm confused about how this thread went from a grandparent worrying about a known child safety issue to "telling parents how to raise their children"..

You said this "No It's one of those things that's everyone's business because kids will be kids whether its your kids or the neighborhood kids."

I said it is not my business to warn my neighbor about his young grandkids and his pool. Apples-Apples. Again, my opinion-none of my business to warn him. Now if for some reason I see the neighbors grand kids out there swimming by themselves of course I would go to the fence line and watch them. Again, agree to disagree.