I am a bore.

[chinaco]

What is a bore anyway? That is a label and using it is highly subjective! Was the label used to describe a specific issue or situation?


BTW.

If you are feeling down, you should speak with your physician. You might be experiencing some form of depression.

If you are having marital problems... consider counseling.

 

[vicente solano]

Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasn´t fishing for compliments.
I see that I haven´t explained myself correctly. I don´t consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like don´t interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- I´m the odd one. When I´m with them I´m previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wife´s annoyance.

 

[ER Fireball]

Hi. My name is Buffy. And I'm a wh.....

Wait a minute, let me get my glasses.

Never mind!

 

[Queenie]

Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasn´t fishing for compliments.
I see that I haven´t explained myself correctly. I don´t consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like don´t interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- I´m the odd one. When I´m with them I´m previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wife´s annoyance.

Ah Vicente, that is different, you are not a bore, you are discerning! I can understand how you feel about big active social events and partying. Many of us don't feel the need for "having fun at all costs" or a need to be surrounded by a group as a means of self-validation. Many of us are quite content with enjoying ourselves. I don't need constant stimulation or confirmation from others to be content. I consider it an evolution in my personal life path.

You need to try to understand this change and embrace it, counseling could help or meditation or whatever it is that makes you feel better. You certainly need to bring your spouse into the picture and help her understand the change and give her time to do so. Marriage counseling might be helpful with that.

I wish you well, Vicente.
Queenie

 

[Bestwifeever]

Of course you're not a bore, Vicente (and we know you are not fishing for compliments, as we say!). I would bet that more people here look forward to your posts than anyone else's. And please, I need a couple of photos of your beautiful countryside right now!

Is your group of friends based on your wife's friends? That is true for a lot of married couples, I believe. If so, I would bet that you are not the only one who feels they do not fit in. And I would say you are not boring in this case, but you might be bored as the group is not discussing your interests.

 

[Alan]

just because the common circle of friends that you and your wife have don't have interests in common with yourself does make you a bore. It is very difficult to look interested in subjects you know little about and have no desire to discuss. The fact that you think you are a bore is just because you are sensitive and are disappointed you can't join in those conversations.

My wife and I have many totally different interests, in fact we watch TV in different rooms every night. Tonight I am going out with some old friends from where I used to work. My wife knows them and says they are all very nice, but has declined to come with me as we'll want to mostly talk about things that do not interest her in the slightest. Likewise when we meet up with friends that want most of the time spent discussing genealogy and the like, if there is a chance for me to not be there, then she understands perfectly, but if I am there, the the best I can do is try to stay awake.

 

[Purron]

My wife and I have many totally different interests, in fact we watch TV in different rooms every night.

It's a shame your wife wants to watch Swamp Loggers when The Bachelorette is on.

 

[Alan]

It's a shame your wife wants to watch Swamp Loggers when The Bachelorette is on.

Nailed it in one

 

[MichaelB]

Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasn´t fishing for compliments.
I see that I haven´t explained myself correctly. I don´t consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like don´t interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- I´m the odd one. When I´m with them I´m previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wife´s annoyance.

Hi Vicente. That sounds like my wife as well, and my face when we're around her friends.

Geez, I hope she isn't reading this.

Anyway, if that means you're a bore, then I am one too, 'cause I share many of your dislikes. For me, however, it doesn't mean I am a bore, but instead I am bored. This is probably your situation as well. IMHO, if you find social stimulation here, the problem is not you.

Vicente, you cannot be a bore or you could not make droll statements like "I am a bore".

Bores never know it.

Ha

Mr. Ha, your wisdom is endless.

 

[vicente solano]

Michael, I´m sure Ha Ha meant to quote "The man who suspects his own tediousness is yet to be born"

Bestwife: You are right, I´m talking about my wife´s friends for whom I am a newcomer, adjoined simply by marriage.

And finally I base my being a bore in this other quotation:"Boredom: the desire to have desires"

 

[TromboneAl]

After several months of soul and mind self-examination, I´ve reached the unpalatable conclusion that I am a born bore. I´ve lost interest for the very few things that I apparently liked, and I don´t seem to muster the will or desire to find new interests.
Another fact that supports my conclusion is that too many people bore me....and that seems unreasonable, ergo it´s all my fault.
My real concern these days is that I have to avoid at all costs dragging my dear wife down, making her miserable. She certainly deserves much better.

I am not asking for advice nor pity. I am posting this to let you know why I am not in the mood for posting.

PS. None of you can be classifien as people who bore me. Quite the contrary. For that I thank you all.

I think I'm exactly the same as you. I don't know for sure, because I didn't read your entire post.

 

[vicente solano]

Bestwifeever: For your eyes only!

 

[vicente solano]

I think I'm exactly the same as you. I don't know for sure, because I didn't read your entire post.

Thankfully for you, we are not alike: I envy your many interests, not the least among them, cycling and playing gigs with friends.....!

 

[Bestwifeever]

That's what I've been waiting to see, Vicente. Go meditate near that beach whenever you're feeling boring. Simply looking at your photographs brings us peace.

 

[vicente solano]

The last thing I want is to disappoint you BestW. but don´t you think that part tof the problem is having too much peace and solitude that brings up all my negative thoughts about not being interested in things?

What I need is having friends around me like the ones on this forum.....preferably speaking English, my permanent quasi-passion!

 

[Alan]

Fabulous photo Vicente

 

[REWahoo]

What I need is having friends around me like the ones on this forum.....preferably speaking English...

We're right here - but we don't all speak English, we only type it! ...

 

[vicente solano]

We're right here - but we don't all speak English, we only type it! ...

I sometimes typo it. Or is it frequently? Who knows-nobody corrects me

 

[Bestwifeever]

The last thing I want is to disappoint you BestW. but don´t you think that part tof the problem is having too much peace and solitude that brings up all my negative thoughts about not being interested in things?

What I need is having friends around me like the ones on this forum.....preferably speaking English, my permanent quasi-passion!

Your English is awesome. Too much peace and solitude could be part of the "problem" as you call it. I think you live in a smaller area that is a little distance from larger cities? That makes it more difficult to find others who share the same interests, but fortunately you can connect with the Internet.

 

[vicente solano]

you live in a smaller area that is a little distance from larger cities? That makes it more difficult to find others who share the same interests, .

Right on target, so direct

 

[haha]

Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasn´t fishing for compliments.
I see that I haven´t explained myself correctly. I don´t consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like don´t interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- I´m the odd one. When I´m with them I´m previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wife´s annoyance.

This usually responds to a little drinking. There are 3 resons for drinking.(A 4th, taste, is often suggested, but is completely bogus.) Number one is to make sex more palatable, either to yourself or to your partner. #2 is to decrease discomfort in social situations such as you describe above. #3 is to get blotto to temporarily wipe away cares and anxieties. This last one is the only one that is likely to get out of hand.

So buy a nice silver flask, and off to the party you go!

Ha

 

[haha]

We're right here - but we don't all speak English, we only type it! ...

And often don't do that very well.

Ha

 

[MichaelB]

We're right here - but we don't all speak English, we only type it! ...

REW, some of the posts written around here aren't English or any other language.

I sometimes typo it. Or is it frequently? Who knows-nobody corrects me

Vicente, your English is excellent and certainly meets the high standards of this forum.

 

[FinanceDude]

I sometimes typo it. Or is it frequently? Who knows-nobody corrects me

Tough to correct when a lot of us are challegned ourselves with regards to language.........

I thenk u knead two find sumpin' fun ta doo..........

 

[vicente solano]

REW, some of the posts written around here aren't English or any other language.

Vicente, your English is excellent and certainly meets the high standards of this forum.

I hope you are right as I plan to enter the Cambridge Certificate of Proficiency Exams. I prepared for them for several months, a few years ago, but i gave it up. Too tough, academic and the didactic material was too dry, for my taste. I am too addicted to your current popular crime fiction writers and that American English doesn´t seem to count a lot to the British English examiners! They don´t know what they are missing

PS. I hope Alan doesn´t take offence.