Lending money to Gamblers

[Blue Collar Guy]

IMHO, you're too soft hearted....

Yeah , I know. Dont let the word out, the sharks might smell blood and come after me..

 

[travelover]

Yeah , I know. Dont let the word out, the sharks might smell blood and come after me..

I've PM'ed you with the details, but in short Vinnie says I need to pay him 10 big ones by tomorrow or swim with the fishes. Large bills are OK.

 

[gcgang]

Question: Should I lend several thousand dollars go a 60 year old sibling?

I got a call from this sibling indicating the need for a few grand because of gambling debts. I have delayed responding, but I gotta say something. I googled and found a gamblers anonymous forum which says "Never do it". Gambling is an addiction like drinking and lending money is enabling. My inclination is to refuse. DW and I have "LBYMed" all of our marriage and see no need to use thousands of dollars for my siblings self-inflicted problem. Are we selfish?

One more thing. On that forum someone addicted was suicidal. This scares the hell out of me. I don't think my sibling is in that frame of mind, but who knows. I don't want to feel remorse the rest if my life.

This is a tough decision i will have to make. It is my responsibility as DW wants me to make the call. Any inputs will be helpful.

While your 60 yr old sibling may very well have gambling addiction problems, I don't think you know enough to conclude that. If 60 yrs old and never had this problem before...

Did you ask the sibling how this came about, what else is going on in their life?

I'd tend to vote No, but you've only got so many siblings.

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

I've PM'ed you with the details, but in short Vinnie says I need to pay him 10 big ones by tomorrow or swim with the fishes. Large bills are OK.

Ask him if moldy bills are acceptable. I'll use the old ones I used to have hidden in the basement.

 

[Senator]

I liken this to giving money to charity. When you give your money to charity, often the charities give money to people that created their own mess.

I would not give to your relative, unless you got something in return. A mortgage on their house. A lien on their car. Maybe you can buy something from them that is worth the money?

 

[Car-Guy]

Question: Should I lend several thousand dollars go a 60 year old sibling?

I got a call from this sibling indicating the need for a few grand because of gambling debts.

Any inputs will be helpful.

If all he needs is a few grand then that's not much of a debt, IMO. Especially if this is the first time he's asked. Now if he's asked before and/or needs a few grand just to pay the interest on his real gambling debt then that could be a real problem.

I gamble (a lot) but never with borrowed money or money I don't have. Heck, I won't even use a margin account with my brokerage accounts.

 

[donheff]

I would help a brother facing a loan shark with a few thousand bucks. Once. Not so many thousands that I would risk my own financial future.

 

[Nemo2]

Visited DW's parents the other day; her dad, a 91 year old retired electrical engineer, used to, untold decades ago, meet for regular card games with a judge, a lawyer, couple guys who owned car dealerships, etc.

They knew how to gamble.

He knew how to play cards.

Her mom noted that he came home one night, emptied his pockets, and she bought a washing machine with the night's haul.

 

[braumeister]

In my experience, people like the OP usually tend to feel overly guilty about doing the right thing and not [-]helping[/-] enabling the gambler because they forget that they are normally only one of many who are being asked for money.

 

[Mdlerth]

Well, thanks for all replies. I just made the call and politely refused to loan the money. It was very short conversation, in which I was thanked for calling back and told to have a good day. I assume/hope I did the right thing.

You did the right thing.

 

[Danmar]

Seems obvious to me. Surprised you are even considering it.

 

[brett]

I would not consider it. Besides, how do you know that the money will be used to reduce a gambling debt rather that being gambled away?

The debt is not the problem.