Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 07:03 AM   #1
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,409
Life, Death and Investing

My 89 year Mother died yesterday. We bit the bullet and had her breathing tube removed and she expired in our presence in ICU.

Inspite of her Medical Directive and Will as to a preference for 'no heroic measures' and a wish to die at home - I had her taken to the hospital and kept her going until my sister could fly out from Seattle and be present at her passing.

In my old age - I find my emotions versus carefully discussed plans are not always the same thing.

And yes - I ran up the National Medicare bill more than I had to.

Like my rent vs buy - where I actually bought when push came to shove, save vs spend questions, do that one thing before you expire questions, - this has me revisiting my frugal now - plan to do this now or that later.

Prior to this - her instructions were: I've lived a full life - so don't waste a lot of fuss when my time comes - cremate me and get on with your (we children's) lives.

I'm not sure what the lesson's here are: except perhaps I'm glad I ER'd at 49.
__________________

__________________
unclemick is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 07:20 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Re: Life, Death and Investing

UM, I'm sorry for your loss. No doubt it is cold comfort, but your trials and travails this year definately have me reconsidering how long I am willing to wait for ER/Semi-ER.
__________________

__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 07:30 AM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,875
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Hello Unclemick!

Very sorry about your Mom.

You have had a tough time, my friend. Much tougher than anything I have endured. You add a lot to this board.
It's an honor to know you. I mean that.

I semiretired at 49 mostly due to my fears about "running out of time". A notorious second-guesser, that was one decision
I never regretted.

JG
__________________
MRGALT2U is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:00 AM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,120
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick,

Once again I send my deepest condolences. It is obvious you have had far, far more than your fair share of troubles this year.

Your point is well taken that we all "know" what we will do in a situation, but reality has a way of re-educating us when we are faced with it. And for all of us, time may be much shorter than we think.

REW
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:22 AM   #5
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 408
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick,

I am very sorry for your loss. Your mother lived to a nice old age and I am sure you are grateful to have had the time to spend with her.

My heart goes out to you. You have had to endure so much this year.

Regards,
LL
__________________
LovesLife is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:24 AM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,439
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Gosh Unclemick, you have had a very tough year. I am deeply sorry. I spent all afternnoon yesterday with my mom(88) and aunt(94). They are in good health but I know my days with them are numbered. I dread when I have to let them go.

I too think ER is the way to go. One more year for me.

Good luck Unclemick!

__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:25 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Eagle43's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DFW
Posts: 1,883
Re: Life, Death and Investing

So sorry, Unclemick. *You must be ready for this year to end. My condolences and hope that things really get better for you.

And yes, only today is promised. *Carpe diem. *Those who want to retire, or for that matter, those who want do do anything, had better do it NOW.
__________________
Resist much. Obey Little. . . . Ed Abbey

Disclaimer: My Posts are for my amusement only.
Eagle43 is online now   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:39 AM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JPatrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,494
Re: Life, Death and Investing

UncleMick I am very sorry about your Mom. I'm sure you followed your heart in making your final decisions and somehow, the heart never seems to be wrong.
The fact that you would find the time to share the wisdom that sad times like this produce is one of the reasons we value your friendship.
__________________
JPatrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:40 AM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
cube_rat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,466
Re: Life, Death and Investing

I'm so sorry for your loss. *This has been one tough year for you. *
__________________
fuzzy? cute?
cube_rat is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 08:58 AM   #10
Moderator Emeritus
Martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,212
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick2


In my old age - I find my emotions versus carefully discussed plans are not always the same thing.

I heard a program on public radio about health care directives. The speaker, a doctor, said that when people are young and healthy they often immediately say that they do not want any heroic measures taken to preserve their life. But when people are terminally ill often this feeling changes. People just don't want to give up on life.

My emotions intervene too--as I wait to see if my grandneice will survive to an intestine and liver transplant.

Take care UncleMick.
__________________
.


No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

Martha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 09:17 AM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,056
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick, you have my deepest condolenses, and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________
Andre1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 09:22 AM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
SteveR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,803
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick2,

I am sorry to hear about your mom. *Even when death is expected it still carries with it the sting of loss. *Discontinuing life support of a loved on is never easy. *I did it for my late wife and I still think it was the greatest gift I every gave her; the gift of a peaceful transition into the what is beyond.

Your life this year has been filled with loss and pain. *I am sorry you have had to endure so much is so short a time. *Sometimes tragedy travels as triplets and you have had yours this year. *

I wish for you a much happier 2006. *

__________________
Work? I don't have time to work....I'm retired.
SteveR is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 09:24 AM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Jay_Gatsby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,719
Re: Life, Death and Investing

My prayers as well unclemick.

When my grandmother passed away at just shy of 96, she was ready to go. *She led a very simple life. *Never learned how to drive. *She was content to paint, and when she couldn't paint anymore, took up needlepoint (making lots of sweaters, scarves and "baby balls" for everyone). *She also didn't want any heroic measures (her body couldn't have handled the strain anyway).
__________________
He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it . . . It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. -- The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jay_Gatsby is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 09:34 AM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Outtahere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,677
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick, I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother. No matter what age it's always hard to lose Mom.
__________________

Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Outtahere is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 10:10 AM   #15
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 557
Re: Life, Death and Investing

All our prayers and thoughts are with you.

Tough decisions. You made the right one.
__________________
uncledrz is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 10:15 AM   #16
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,505
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick, you have my condolenses.

......

Not being promised tomorrow makes me want to consume more today, moreso that it wants me to save more today to retire early. *For example, if in hindsight i die of cancer 10 years from now, before i could even early retire, then what good did living an extreme frugal life do me except cause me to live..... well... an extreme frugal life for a reward i never saw.

Ideally, i want my account balance at my death to just barely cover my funeral.
__________________
azanon is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 10:16 AM   #17
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 260
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Add my thoughts and condolences to those already offered.

And my thanks for reminding me yet again that today truly is all we have.
__________________
peggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 10:44 AM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,083
Re: Life, Death and Investing

unclemick, I hope the coming holidays will be full of joyous memories and that you are surrounded by loving family and good friends.

MJ
__________________
I look to the present moment because that's where I live my life.
MJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 11:18 AM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: No. California
Posts: 1,600
Re: Life, Death and Investing

Unclemick...

I'm so sorry about your Mom. You're a strong man to stay standing after all you've gone through this year.
This is just a reminder that we never know what might happen...

Stay strong and I hope next year is a much better year for you.
__________________
KB is online now   Reply With Quote
Re: Life, Death and Investing
Old 12-05-2005, 11:58 AM   #20
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,555
Re: Life, Death and Investing

UncleMick,

Just wanted to say that I am sorry about all of your losses also. I agree with everything that JG had to say about you. I hope that 2006 is a great year for you. You deserve some very happy times with all that you have been through.

Dreamer
__________________

__________________
Dreamer is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What to do with Met Life Ins. Policy Adventuregirl FIRE and Money 6 02-04-2006 06:50 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:12 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.