Life is a series of ongoing negotiations

[kyounge1956]

Better a quiet existence than one filled with people who go out of their way to figure out your schedule so they could put themselves in your path at a time they know you'll be there so they could "coincidentally" bump into you and waste your time with pointless forced socializing that serves no purpose other than to waste your time and delay you from reaching your destination/accomplishing your goal. And somehow I would be the bad guy if I were to flip out on them and tell them to **** off.

What in the world are you talking about?

He's talking about the silly idea they have at some workplaces that the employees are a "family", that "co-worker" and "friend" are synonyms, and that the fact that you work in the same office with someone automatically means that you want to socialize with them in your off hours. Happily for me, although some of my office-mates do socialize outside of working hours, they don't pester me to join them or lie in wait and force me into conversation. If they did, I'd be as disgusted with it as old.snake is.

 

[haha]

He's talking about the silly idea they have at some workplaces that the employees are a "family", that "co-worker" and "friend" are synonyms, and that the fact that you work in the same office with someone automatically means that you want to socialize with them in your off hours. Happily for me, although some of my office-mates do socialize outside of working hours, they don't pester me to join them or lie in wait and force me into conversation. If they did, I'd be as disgusted with it as old.snake is.

O-K!

 

[old.snake]

He's talking about the silly idea they have at some workplaces that the employees are a "family", that "co-worker" and "friend" are synonyms, and that the fact that you work in the same office with someone automatically means that you want to socialize with them in your off hours. Happily for me, although some of my office-mates do socialize outside of working hours, they don't pester me to join them or lie in wait and force me into conversation. If they did, I'd be as disgusted with it as old.snake is.

THANK YOU. You are the ONLY PERSON I've seen that understands this. Perhaps there are more of my kind out there than I thought. What we need is a nation, a nation without forced socializing. The nation my father and his mentor once envisioned. I shall call this nation... [-]"Outer Heaven"[/-] [-]"The Nation Without Forced Socializing"[/-] "Nation Sans Relations Forcées"

EDIT: and it isn't just at the workplace. It's also strangers that I meet in my day to day life. I am a HUGE MAGNET for forced socializing. I hate being a known figure in my community and cannot wait to retire so I can move to a place where NO ONE knows or cares who I am. Or at least work in a community whose culture involves keeping to yourself, minding your own ****ing business, and never talking to strangers unless absolutely necessary. Who the **** wants to live in a world where you are REQUIRED to make friends with EVERYONE YOU MEET? I don't have to make friends with you unless it is explicitly part of my job description or some ******* politician passes a law that mandates forced socializing for everyone. If the former happens I'll quit my job, and if the latter happens, I'll leave the ****ing country and find work elsewhere.

 

[haha]

... and if the latter happens, I'll leave the ****ing country and find work elsewhere.

Perhaps as a social director at Club Med?

 

[grasshopper]

Hands up baby hands up give me your heart baby, give me....................

 

[RonBoyd]

Perhaps there are more of my kind out there than I thought.

Aw. You were just born a 150 years too late.

YouTube - Jeremiah Johnson Intro

The nation my father and her mentor once envisioned.

I don't understand.

 

[youbet]

THANK YOU. You are the ONLY PERSON I've seen that understands this. Perhaps there are more of my kind out there than I thought. What we need is a nation, a nation without forced socializing. The nation my father and his mentor once envisioned. I shall call this nation... [-]"Outer Heaven"[/-] [-]"The Nation Without Forced Socializing"[/-] "Nation Sans Relations Forcées"

EDIT: and it isn't just at the workplace. It's also strangers that I meet in my day to day life. I am a HUGE MAGNET for forced socializing. I hate being a known figure in my community and cannot wait to retire so I can move to a place where NO ONE knows or cares who I am. Or at least work in a community whose culture involves keeping to yourself, minding your own ****ing business, and never talking to strangers unless absolutely necessary. Who the **** wants to live in a world where you are REQUIRED to make friends with EVERYONE YOU MEET? I don't have to make friends with you unless it is explicitly part of my job description or some ******* politician passes a law that mandates forced socializing for everyone. If the former happens I'll quit my job, and if the latter happens, I'll leave the ****ing country and find work elsewhere.

In other words, you'd like everyone here on the FIRE forum to put you on ignore?

 

[Bestwifeever]

THANK YOU. You are the ONLY PERSON I've seen that understands this. Perhaps there are more of my kind out there than I thought. What we need is a nation, a nation without forced socializing. The nation my father and his mentor once envisioned. I shall call this nation... [-]"Outer Heaven"[/-] [-]"The Nation Without Forced Socializing"[/-] "Nation Sans Relations Forcées"

EDIT: and it isn't just at the workplace. It's also strangers that I meet in my day to day life. I am a HUGE MAGNET for forced socializing. I hate being a known figure in my community and cannot wait to retire so I can move to a place where NO ONE knows or cares who I am. Or at least work in a community whose culture involves keeping to yourself, minding your own ****ing business, and never talking to strangers unless absolutely necessary. Who the **** wants to live in a world where you are REQUIRED to make friends with EVERYONE YOU MEET? I don't have to make friends with you unless it is explicitly part of my job description or some ******* politician passes a law that mandates forced socializing for everyone. If the former happens I'll quit my job, and if the latter happens, I'll leave the ****ing country and find work elsewhere.

Gee, how do you really feel?

Look more closely when you go outside--you'll probably see lots of people crossing the street so they won't have to run into you.

 

[old.snake]

I don't understand.

Typo. Corrected.

Gee, how do you really feel?

Look more closely when you go outside--you'll probably see lots of people crossing the street so they won't have to run into you.

I wish. My life would be so much more enjoyable that way without having to constantly deal with strangers flocking to me. Dealing with strangers = work. If I have to deal with strangers, I want to get paid for it. I sure as hell don't want to work when I'm off duty. Who the hell wants to work when they're off duty? Why am I not allowed a life of my own and am forced to perpetually work? I may have to put up with strangers at work for a paycheck, but beyond that they are just a burden that stands in the way of me enjoying my life. The thing I look forward to the most each day is to go home. Because there are no strangers to deal with at home. I can do whatever I want without some random stranger getting in my way.

 

[calmloki]

Maybe you are a salesman or priest or something that requires contact, but if i choose not to talk with people it's really not a problem going several days at a time even here in sunny SoCal. Go to Oregon, maybe outside Roseburg or hey - try Mitchell! - and you can do weeks at a time. Eastern Nevada or Wyoming or Alaska you are welcome to all the solitude you can stand.

 

[old.snake]

Maybe you are a salesman or priest or something that requires contact, but if i choose not to talk with people it's really not a problem going several days at a time even here in sunny SoCal. Go to Oregon, maybe outside Roseburg or hey - try Mitchell! - and you can do weeks at a time. Eastern Nevada or Wyoming or Alaska you are welcome to all the solitude you can stand.

I just want a distinct separation between my life at home and my life at work. That way, I only work when it's my shift and outside of my shift I only concern myself with things that involve ME. But the locations you suggest are not conducive towards me blending in and becoming invisible. Ironically, I find that it's actually easier to disappear into the crowd if the crowd is insanely huge. If there are very few people on the street, I'll stand out. Someone will eventually recognize me and flock to me. If there is an ocean of people clogging up the sidewalk I am completely invisible. I've lived in the suburbs and lived in a major metropolitan city, and it's much easier to disappear into the crowd while walking around in the city than it is while walking around in the middle of Bumble****, USA. When there's millions of people living in the city, most people will not care about just one guy. I am currently stuck in Suburbanville, and my life revolves around avoiding people during my off hours so I don't have to work when I'm off duty. I cannot wait to get out of this hell hole and get back to the world I love.

 

[grasshopper]

Your a TV talkinghead.

 

[Nords]

THANK YOU. You are the ONLY PERSON I've seen that understands this.
EDIT: and it isn't just at the workplace. It's also strangers that I meet in my day to day life. I am a HUGE MAGNET for forced socializing. I hate being a known figure in my community and cannot wait to retire so I can move to a place where NO ONE knows or cares who I am. Or at least work in a community whose culture involves keeping to yourself, minding your own ****ing business, and never talking to strangers unless absolutely necessary. Who the **** wants to live in a world where you are REQUIRED to make friends with EVERYONE YOU MEET? I don't have to make friends with you unless it is explicitly part of my job description or some ******* politician passes a law that mandates forced socializing for everyone. If the former happens I'll quit my job, and if the latter happens, I'll leave the ****ing country and find work elsewhere.

My goodness, I never expected to see someone out-curmudgeon the board's original JohnGalt/JG.

You're in your 20s?

 

[old.snake]

My goodness, I never expected to see someone out-curmudgeon the board's original JohnGalt/JG.

You're in your 20s?

Let's see what happens to you when your life is full of outsiders trying to invade your world and force a lifestyle upon you that you do not want. Invaders trying to force their way into my world = hostility from me, not me welcoming them in with open arms. People who expect otherwise are extremely ****ing stupid. If people can't figure out that invasion from outsiders is going to be met with hostility, they're too stupid for high school. I would NEVER make friends with or date any of the garbage that currently surrounds me. They are DISGUSTING. Would you be happy if you were surrounded by outsiders who wanted to invade your world? This isn't a rhetorical question. I am asking you for a yes or no answer.

 

[Htown Harry]

I hate being a known figure in my community and cannot wait to retire so I can move to a place where NO ONE knows or cares who I am.

Snake you'll find many threads on the forum discussing the pros and cons of various retirement locales.

After reviewing your 25 posts, I only hope that you pick one that makes you happier. Preferably north of the Red and west of the Pecos.

 

[travelover]

Snake, I think that Ted Kaczynski's cabin is available.

 

[Martha]

Let's see what happens to you when your life is full of outsiders trying to invade your world and force a lifestyle upon you that you do not want. Invaders trying to force their way into my world = hostility from me, not me welcoming them in with open arms. People who expect otherwise are extremely ****ing stupid. If people can't figure out that invasion from outsiders is going to be met with hostility, they're too stupid for high school. I would NEVER make friends with or date any of the garbage that currently surrounds me. They are DISGUSTING. Would you be happy if you were surrounded by outsiders who wanted to invade your world? This isn't a rhetorical question. I am asking you for a yes or no answer.

Azanon?

 

[Khan]

Thanks to the ignorant raving @#$%^&* for screwing up everything. Maybe I can do the same to its *(() site someday.

 

[Nords]

Let's see what happens to you when your life is full of outsiders trying to invade your world and force a lifestyle upon you that you do not want. Invaders trying to force their way into my world = hostility from me, not me welcoming them in with open arms. People who expect otherwise are extremely ****ing stupid. If people can't figure out that invasion from outsiders is going to be met with hostility, they're too stupid for high school. I would NEVER make friends with or date any of the garbage that currently surrounds me. They are DISGUSTING. Would you be happy if you were surrounded by outsiders who wanted to invade your world? This isn't a rhetorical question. I am asking you for a yes or no answer.

Well, golly, since you asked, then no, I wouldn't be happy.

However I'd figure out ways to cope with it. For example, instead of ranting and raging at the posters on discussion boards, I might ask for advice that would help-- such asthe Atlantic's article on Caring For Your Introvert.

I might make a "Miss Manners" effort to be excruciatingly polite to these "invaders" and "outsiders" so that they could pick up the hint that you're not interested in socializing. Perhaps one of the reasons they continue to engage you is because of the interesting responses they're able to evoke.

Or I might decide it's time to leave a job that's making me so desperately unhappy. Part of that decision would be a nagging concern that the "disgusting garbage" by which I'm surrounded might possibly be picking up on subtle hints that I'm finding them difficult to work with.

I'd certainly be visiting Jacob Lund Fisker's "Early Retirement Extreme" board for tips on how to save up to 90% of my income and accelerate my ER. I might even ask posters on this board for that sort of advice.

A disproportionately large number of this board's members (including me) possess an INTJ personality which in general does not socialize well. However I spent 20 years in the Navy's submarine force, "full of outsiders trying to invade my world and force a lifestyle upon me that I didn't want". I found a way to set limits and make it work for my personality. But then I didn't have great places like E-R.org to come to and vent my spleen.

Of course it's possible that you're just enjoying the status quo... in which case feel free to continue behaving like a curmudgeon.

 

[Htown Harry]

Nicely done, Nords.

Thanks to the ignorant raving @#$%^&* for screwing up everything. Maybe I can do the same to its *(() site someday.

Apologies for falling into the troll's trap, Khan. Best wishes for your trip.

I'm not sure which would be better for motion sickness, but you should be aware it is generally possible to change a seat selection for your flight after ticketing. An aisle seat might be best if getting up and moving around would be helps, a window seat if seeing the ground go by helps.

You can see where your seat is on the plane on airline's web site by checking under your reservation file. Or on a site like this Airline Seating Charts - Best Airplane Seats - SeatGuru If you don't like the seat the computer gave you with your ticket, you can try to change now, or possibly at the gate or with your neighbor once on the plane.

I know it would be no need for a negotiation if I was approached by someone who said "The ____ seat helps me avoid motion sickness. Do you mind if we switch seats?"

 

[Khan]

Will there be a problem with taking a peppermint teabag through TSA?

 

[Westernskies]

Will there be a problem with taking a peppermint teabag through TSA?

Nope. Take the whole box.

 

[KB]

Khan,
I've taken powered protein drink, granola and protein bars, teabags and sandwiches on the plane when I've flown. I've had them in my carry on and have never had a problem.

I always buy a bottle of cold water after going through security too.

 

[vicente solano]

At 53, I'm thinking of bucking the system. I'm gonna paste a sign on my fanny that says...'As is...No returns...No refunds...No guarantee'

Yeah...that's it...

"Certain things catch your eye......" Don´t take offence BBB, but if you do that, YOUR fanny will be one of those things! But then, you being a LADY, NO ONE would get a chance to notice it!

 

[Westernskies]

Typo. Corrected.



I wish. My life would be so much more enjoyable that way without having to constantly deal with strangers flocking to me. Dealing with strangers = work. If I have to deal with strangers, I want to get paid for it. I sure as hell don't want to work when I'm off duty. Who the hell wants to work when they're off duty? Why am I not allowed a life of my own and am forced to perpetually work? I may have to put up with strangers at work for a paycheck, but beyond that they are just a burden that stands in the way of me enjoying my life. The thing I look forward to the most each day is to go home. Because there are no strangers to deal with at home. I can do whatever I want without some random stranger getting in my way.

If you value your solitude so much, why are you spending valuable "off-duty" time you "look forward to the most" here on E-R.org with us "random strangers"? Following your hypothesis that strangers=work and you expect to get paid for working, the time you spend here dealing with us "burdensome strangers" is, in essence, wasting valuable time=money that could be going to fund your blissfully solitary ER...a self-imposed burden that stands in the way of you "enjoying your life".

(Sorry if this response crapped on your thread, Khan. )