Mid life crisis?

[brewer12345]

How many of you went through a major change as you reached 40 plus? How did it manifest?

 

[mountaintosea]

I took a year off and traveled around the world. Started in England and ended the year in China. Best thing I've ever done.

 

[omni550]

I've often heard that mid-life crisis seems to affect the male demographic more than females. Even many commercials (the middle-aged guy buying the hot, sporty convertible, etc.) seem to play on this.

Just wondering what we will see this in this thread.

omni

 

[Walt34]

Not so much for me, although at 41 I did get an entirely new job with the same employer.

Bought a new motorcycle when I was 59, though that's a bit late to call it a "mid-life crisis".

 

[donheff]

I hit a horrendously bad spot at work at about 45. Luckily, no one but me knew I was depressed so I was still performing well and had solid capital with my employer. I eventually made a 180 change from HR Director to an IT manager and enjoyed my last 10 years at work. Or, more accurately, better tolerated my last 10 years - still plenty of stress in IT.

Does your question imply a crisis building?

 

[H2ODude]

I had one six month stretch of unemployment followed by two bad jobs around 44. But that wasn't the internally generated "mid life crisis" I suspect you're talking about. For that, I did indulge in some sports car and motorcycle purchases in 30's, 40's, and 50's. I always figured they were cheap alternatives to infidelity and the drama and financial woes that entails! I will say that recently turning 61 and about to bail is generating a lot of existential angst. But that's just me.

I'd recommend you give any major jumps in response to your issues a lot of thought. You have to be willing to live with the consequences, and NOT indulging a desire has consequences too. Good luck.

 

[jerome len]

I changed my life for the better in my 40's. Some may have called it a crisis but I reviewed who I was, what would make me happy, what my obligations to my kids represented and changed a lot. It was a time of introspection and action, some would say (my ex wife) that I went nuts but I'm healthier, happier, richer and closer to my kids. Great question.....made me think and appreciate what I have.

 

[Brdofpray]

I was approaching 50. My job was becoming very routine. DW and I were channeling everything into FIRE (projected at 55). I needed something to shack things up.

A sports car wouldn't do, nor would fast women. Instead, I decided to ride my bicycle across Iowa. I trained very hard and completed my first ride in 2005. Over 500 miles in 7 days. I returned to the office recharged, and ready for the next year. I have completed another 6 rides in the subsequent years, and plan to continue until I am unable, or my doctor says to stop.

 

[Brdofpray]

shack things up.

Now there a slip on the key board.

 

[citrine]

I had my mid-life crisis at 35...started with a major anxiety that this could not be all there is to life, not feeling as if I was helping anyone or "connected" to the world. I changed everything...left my job, went to school, and it's been working so far

 

[pb4uski]

Nothing for me though I did change jobs and the new job was a road warrior job, but the job change didn't have anything to do with a mid-life crisis but more to do with a dissatisfaction with the way my employer was treating me.

A buddy of mine tho had a real hard time turning 50 and recently commented to me that he was having similar difficulties with the thought of 60 being just down the road. For me, it was just another day.

 

[Nemo2]

I'll be 70 this year......is it too late to have mine?

 

[Tree-dweller]

50 didn't strike me as milestone-ish, but 60 is around the corner and for some reason that feels more of an, well let's call it an "achievement". Minus the aches and pains l feel the same, but then I look at my hands and see my father's. No big midlife crisis that I recall.

 

[Zero]

I hope anyone with a midlife crisis can either act on your crisis or that it passes. Being stuck in that mode doesn't sound like fun.

I felt a mid-life crisis coming on in 1986, mid 30s, but I did not act on it in any significant way. To this day, I still wish I had BUT I also realize that I am viewing the decision from a vantage point created by NOT acting. Had I acted, who knows what my current situation might be.

One colleague from that period did act on his crisis and he quit and went "job shopping" so that he could only work 2-3 months a year and then go surf/ski/kite/camping/travel. He was the first person I had personally witnessed in a Dharma Bum existence and going to live in Mexico, Costa Rica, etc, to surf bum.

It was interesting because he would give his notice, then would be gone for a year or more, then suddenly show up in the hallway, with dark tan, looking fit and most of all very happy. Loved going to "happy hour" and living vicariously thru his stories.

 

[FIREd]

If a mid-life crisis arises with the sudden realization of one's own mortality, then mine happened in my 30s and led to my early retirement.

Until then, I blindly followed the rules. Work hard in school so I could get into the best college, work hard in college/graduate school so I could get a good job, don't drink, don't smoke, don't party too much, don't do drugs, find the right girl, get married, buy a house... The job turned out to be a disappointment and I started regretting studying so much and not enjoying life enough. So early-retirement has been my way to rebel against conventions and regain control of my life.

 

[MichaelB]

We all need to recalibrate every once in a while.

 

[brewer12345]

Does your question imply a crisis building?

I do not believe so. However, as I near 40 I have been making some big changes in my life and lifestyle based on some longstanding dissatisfaction with my prior life. So perhaps I am pre-emptively dealing with what would otherwise become one.

 

[W2R]

I've often heard that mid-life crisis seems to affect the male demographic more than females. Even many commercials (the middle-aged guy buying the hot, sporty convertible, etc.) seem to play on this.

Just wondering what we will see this in this thread.

omni

I don't think I had a mid-life crisis, and maybe the fact that I'm female explains it. Seems like during my forties my life was just blooming and changing and unfolding as it always had and would. Nothing has ever been as stable as I might have wished.

When I was 39 or 40 I did buy a brand new Aggie maroon '87 Dodge Daytona for what I perceived to be its sporty looks, but I chose the smallest engine, a.k.a. housewife version. It probably wasn't a midlife crisis car, though; I bought it as a "good for me" for earning exactly that much selling my EE senior project. And as for other midlife crisis symptoms, honestly I never even looked at any man other than my husband until after my divorce and 50th birthday.

 

[nwsteve]

In early 40's, finally after looking at leaving mega corp for several years to run own business, pulled plug and bought a printing franchise. Completed start-up and was moving up profit curve when recognize the biz was not our "cup of tea" and sold at price that allowed us to recover our investment. Never went back to mega corp employment. Finished work career doing consulting.
Nwsteve

 

[bbbamI]

Don't know I would call any of our experiences 'mid life crisis'...just a need for a change. We ain't gonna live forever.....

....DH bought his red sports car in his mid forties. At 54 he bought a motorcycle, retired the next year and let his hair grow long. He still has the bike, but got his hair cut...it drove him crazy.

At 41, I stopped pushing a pencil, (quit my job) and at 42 became a volunteer cop. At 50, I bought my own sports car and starting sketching again.

 

[bbbamI]

Don't know I would call any of our experiences 'mid life crisis'...just a need for a change. We ain't gonna live forever.....

Speaking of a need for a change....here's an oldie.....


http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/ever-feel-the-need-for-a-change-33263.html

 

[antmary]

Don't know I would call any of our experiences 'mid life crisis'...just a need for a change. We ain't gonna live forever.....

....DH bought his red sports car in his mid forties. At 54 he bought a motorcycle, retired the next year and let his hair grow long. He still has the bike, but got his hair cut...it drove him crazy.

At 41, I stopped pushing a pencil, (quit my job) and at 42 became a volunteer cop. At 50, I bought my own sports car and starting sketching again.

bbbamI! Love your art - good for you!

In my 40's I cleaned up my life - education-wise. I went back to school, and finished my master's degree - the one that I let go of when I was in my twenties. The man left, but so did my degree!

I still believe in following my dreams. My work has to mesh with my soul in order for me to feel like I'm really in the "Zen" of life's stream.

 

[nnkrealtor]

Not sure if this qualifies or not but...when I was 28 (31)now I began to think about and look for a job in law enforcement. I quit my job in IT at 29 and went into law enforcement. Been very happy ever since. I think that my current contentment comes from having a job I love and my son being born 17 months ago, and having another on the way. Everything really came together at the same time. Interesting fact: my son was born at 1:00 am on the morning of the day I was to start my new law enforcement job, so I missed my first 2 days of work... They were very understanding.lol...
I really think that it wasn't a mid/quarter life crisis because most of my dissatisfaction with life centered around a job that I hated. I had worked in the same it job for 8 years and hated it for about 5 of those...made the change and came immediately out of my funk.

 

[Midpack]

Mine was backwards. We've always LBYMd, but we had fancy cars (got the Corvette out of my system at age 25), clothes etc. in my 20's. At 30 I went on a health kick, running marathons, century (bike) rides, Outward Bound. By 40 I'd become more frugal and I wasn't exercising at all. At 50 we were even more frugal and I got into exercising, eating healthy again. I've always been up for new challenges, and if anything more so now - you only live once. Ocean (sail) racing, skydiving, bungee jumping - might as well while I'm still able. Still pretty much in that phase, who knows what will come next.

Fortunately job burnout didn't hit me until I was about 55, reaching FI probably helped induce that.

 

[Ronstar]

Had a mid-life crisis 11 years ago at age 45 that resulted in this:

I still have the car, but luckily the crisis soon ended.